


Holiday

by cffn



Category: GOT7
Genre: AU, Cute, Cuteness overload, Fluff, Forming Relationships, Holidays, M/M, Smut, because markson or never, cant tag this!, complicated feelings but not, they're older but not too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:51:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 79,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6105477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cffn/pseuds/cffn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever seen the movie The Holiday? Take out the original characters and put Got7 in their place. Some lovely Markson cheesyness and smut ahead, along with JJP/Bnior sexiness.<br/>You have been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet the heroes

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, hi. Been a while.
> 
> Decided to write Holiday in got7 style. So sorry about that, but the idea was too irresistible as the movie is one of my favorites and watching it now after writing this makes me crave for some markson cuteness so badly..
> 
> I try to finish the story asap so you don't have to wait too long.

**England**

Jackson didn’t like his life very much. He was hurting, and he could do nothing to make it any easier to bear. He was in pain in that unseen way that gnaws your guts and turns your heart to cinder, slowly and surely as the time passes by. It was excruciating and painful and yet.. It was something akin to fierce attachment and holding someone dear to your heart so powerfully it wrecked you in the process completely and you just _let it_ do so and in some twisted, masochistic way you actually _enjoy_ it. This was, to Jackson at least, the only form of love he had ever known. The kind of unrequited love that hurts you, cripples you and makes you a walking wounded, emotionally handicapped beggar. He was happily unhappy in love with a man who does not, and _will not_ love him back ever in this lifetime.

In short; his life sucked.

The holiday season was full on when the company held its annual, very annoying and very loud, group celebratory event before most of the staff would take the week or two off and be off on their way to somewhere more pleasant. For Jackson that wasn’t possible. He was always working and always working meant he would be always around Ben. Ben was the asshole whom Jackson had dated few years back before he had found out Ben was cheating on him.

The relationship had of course ended but they remained as friends. With benefits. And only when it suited Ben. But then Jackson had found out Ben was _still_ banging that one giggly secretary he had originally cheated on Jackson with. How nice. A piece from every pie for Benny-bear. So _fucking nice_. But still Jackson wasn’t able to resist the pull he had towards that asshole that held his heart in his clutches so tightly Jackson thought he would suffocate one shitty day. No matter what Ben did, Jackson was always ready to jump. They always made plans to hang out together, or to have a really long lunch or make promises to meet up later, which Ben usually didn’t keep because the wench always came first.

“Could I have your attention please?” Jackson shook his head and raised his agonized eyes to look up the stairs where the chief editor stood holding his glass high and a slightly drunken smile on his face. “I have a very pleasant announcement to make, before you all scurry off and indulge yourselves with the Christmas spirit. Be it naughty or nice, you must remember to enjoy it!” Jackson snorted into his cup of coffee. His holiday spirit was still unfound. Lost. Dead. Probably murdered under some bridge. He hadn’t enjoyed the festive time of the year much in years since his days were always lonely and heartbroken. What would wait for him when he got home? His cat, yes, but nothing else. Empty house and no one to talk to. He sighed, defeated. Could this get any worse than it already was? He could see Ben, on the other side of the room, looking at him and giving him that glance that said “we should definitely meet soon” and Jackson thought, for a fleeting second, the day might just get better after all. But then.. “I am pleased to announce a union of our two most beloved colleagues; Ben and Susan!”

The just-announced happily engaged pair was pushed onto the stairs and everyone hoorayed and raised their glasses. While others were doing this, Jackson stood there in the middle of his coworkers and stared blankly at the couple hugging and smiling before his very eyes. He swallowed hard and then forced a smile on his face. Ben’s eye caught his but Jackson just smiled that fake smile of his and turned on his heels to escape from the suffocating room to his own stuffy, paper filled office.

Rest of the evening went by in a blurry haze of feeling nothing and Jackson had no recollection of it. After what seemed like an eternity he found himself sitting in the train, then walking thru the frozen landscape and reaching his house in the middle of frigging nowhere and slammed the door behind him closed.

Then he let out a wail of agony and fell onto the floor, banging it hard with his fists and scaring his cat up from the couch. Life seriously _sucked_!

 

**Los Angeles**

A loud crash and something heavy being thrown to the wall broke the silence of the gleaming white house where the occupants were nowhere to be seen for the moment. A groan and a grunt from the couch in the spacious living room identified at least one person still alive in there. That person rubbed his eyes sleepy and yawned stretching until the crashes and streams of cursing got more prominent and he remembered where he was.

“Shit.” Adam moaned, his head throbbing and his neck sore because he had been sleeping on the couch. _Again._ He should fix the situation. Immediately. He hobbled up from the couch and warily started to ascend the stairs towards the closed door which seemed to hide the poltergeist raging in the house.

“Jinyoung? Darling?” Adam opened the door just an inch and peered inside but had to dodge straight away a shoe flying towards his face the moment he was visible to the other party.

“You asshole! I trusted you!” Jinyoung was growling at Adam who was now cowering in fright against the railing and holding the shoe in his hands like it could protect him from the fury of his boyfriend. When the objects thrown at him ceased flying he stood higher and plastered an apologetic expression on his face.

“Honey, come on. It’s not what you think!”

“Really, then _what_ am I thinking?” Jinyoung sneered at the man who had been the center of his life for the past three years but who probably was one of the shittiest things that had ever happened to him. At least it felt like it right now.

“You think I slept with her because I came home so late. But we were just working and burning midnight oil and she was just being a busybody there and..”

“ _Really_? Adam, you expect me to believe that that little cunt was just _hanging around_ in the middle of the god forsaken night with you shitheads _working_?” Jinyoung sneered at Adam.

“You’re not thinking straight here.” Adam tried to keep his cool and appear like he had some of his dignity still left in him. Perhaps a bit more cooing would do the trick? “Honey. Baby. Calm down. Nothing happened!”

“Don’t you dare call me baby, you piece of cheating shit! You definitely slept with her!”

“I didn’t cheat on you!”

“There’s lipstick on your shirt!” Jinyoung threw the shirt in question at his boyfriend. “And it’s not on the collar either, you piece of shit..” He was growling by now, the anger getting worse by the minute as Adam tried to explain and apologize.

“Well.. I… uh. I don’t know how that could’ve happen!” Adam spluttered, overwhelmed. He was red in the face, a sure sign that always hinted at the direction of lies. Those big, fat, ugly lies.

“Gee, I wonder how does one usually get stains near their crotches..” Jinyoung sneered, tired of the lame excuses, tired of trying to pretend he cared anymore, tired of seeing that face in front of him. He straightened his back and looked menacingly at Adam. “You know, I knew I was right about you. I had a hunch. You were always a little shifty. And now you’ve proved it. Was it nice, banging someone half your age? I really don’t know how you manage to make time for cheating with all your _work_ getting in the way.”

“Who doesn’t make time for sex…” Adam mumbled under his breath. And that was a mistake. Adam knew it the moment he’d opened his mouth and the words just fell out.

“Ugh! You DID sleep with her! Get out of my house!” Jinyoung hurl the bag he was holding at Adam and slammed the door close to his face, almost breaking his nose in the process. “No, wait.” Jinyoung turned, wrenching the door open again and glared at the man who he thought he had been in love with all these miserable years. He thought about all the ignorant things Adam had done while they were together. Jinyoung wasn’t a saint; he knew that, but to have a vermin like this by your side? Shit. The anger flared up once more. Then he punched Adam. Hard, accurately and straight in the face. “Get lost, loser. I will _send you your things._ ” And the door slammed back shut leaving Adam groaning in pain and holding his bleeding nose in his hands.

Jinyoung paced up and down in the bedroom, gathering the belongings of his now ex-boyfriend in his arms and then walking to the window and unceremoniously throwing them out to the yard. Good riddance! He hadn’t been in love with that fucker in ages anyway, so no harm done. He was fine. More than fine. Right? No need to get angry and sad and start crying. Except Jinyoung never cried. He just couldn’t do it no matter how sad the situation was. The impenetrable iceberg, that’s what they called him sometimes. He knew it. He was aware of his little shortcomings. So what. He still didn’t deserve a partner like that.

A knock on the door startled him. He was almost sure the idiot was on his knees behind it, begging Jinyoung to forgive him, but when he opened the door there was his assistant instead, staring at him warily.

“Are… you ok?” Amy asked tentatively and glanced into the bedroom her eyebrows high. She probably saw all the mess in there, the half open closet doors, the random objects smashed on the floor, but she didn’t comment on it.

“Wait.” Jinyoung held one finger up before him, took a deep calming breath, closed his eyes for a second and then exhaled most of the shit out of his mind. “I’m fine. What’s up?”

“We need you in the studio.” Amy dared a small smile and then headed downstairs to the studio linked with the house itself, Jinyoung, slightly still fuming to himself, following her. They were producing an album for an upcoming new talent and this required his attention at these last crucial moments as usual; nothing got past him without his acceptance. He needed to toss the infuriating thoughts about his cheating, good-for-nothing, asshole, wanker ex-boyfriend from his mind and focus on what he was so good at doing.

After an hour of talking and listening to various propositions on tens of different things Jinyoung was finally able to let out a sigh of relief and slump onto the soft leather armchair running his fingers over his temples. His head was aching slightly, the dull throbbing pain adding to his annoyance. But the work was done for now and the album would be released on time and it didn’t sound at all like first albums tended to sound like; unperfected. It sounded good and it had strong vibes to it. Of course it did, _he_ had produced it.

“You know what I could use right now?” Jinyoung suddenly said, sitting straight in the chair and looking at his two associates sharing the room with him. They turned to look at him with almost visible question marks above their heads. “A vacation. I mean a real _vacation_.” He huffed and folded his arms to his chest. “I can’t even remember the last time I actually took some time off and did something not work related.”

“But isn’t this kind of a bad timing, with the album release coming and all?” Amy asked her eyes betraying her worry about the sanity of his boss at the moment. Sure, Jinyoung was known to be a workaholic but never mind that, he _needed_ to get out of the town.

“Not really. It’s basically wrapped as it is now. I say it’s done, so it is done.” And with that said Jinyoung smiled and with all the newfound confidence in life and everything connected he gave few last orders for the two and then stormed off back to his living quarters.

Once up in his study Jinyoung stared at the black screen of his computer for a long while, struggling to find even a hint of sadness in his heart. He had sacrificed three years to that relationship and now he didn’t feel a thing? What it meant was a mystery to him but he guessed at this point it had something to do with his love having faded a long time ago and all they had had left were some common interests and a bed they shared occasionally to sleep together. Sex hadn’t been a regular thing to begin with and Jinyoung couldn’t remember the times they actually had done it anyway. Half living with someone so unreliable had been a roller coaster; Adam was flimsy, egotistic and busy with his mind full of work related things. That was how they had met in the first place. Through a mutual friend and work and they had connected because they were both ambitious and pigheaded. But that had been their downfall in the end as well. Adam was too unstable to focus on his relationship and was easily tempted by anyone who showed interest in him. Jinyoung was too absorbed on his work to pay much attention to this and god knows how long had the idiot been cheating on him.

He grunted and then opened the computer. He should leave town at least, there was nothing to do here and he would just engage himself with work if he didn’t tear himself off from these surroundings. He needed to relax.

A beach holiday? Nah, didn’t suit him. All that sand and burning hot sun and getting awful sunburns? No thank you. Jinyoung scrolled down the page and his eyes stopped at the link halfway down the page. Home rentals? What on Earth.. He halfheartedly clicked the links it offered him and ended up looking at a list of houses that were available for renting at Christmas. He could do that, yes? Haul up in a cottage somewhere in England and actually read a whole book. The first house he clicked didn’t look at all pleasing. The second was even worse and so was the third. He was about to give up when a picture of a small house in the middle of nowhere popped up.

_“Enjoy country Christmas this year. 40min train ride away from London in a peaceful country village. Sit by the fire, drink hot beverages and read a book surrounded by perfect serene silence.”_

 

**England**

The blizzard outside was making him gloomier than ever. Watching it made him remember everything with perfect clarity and he did _not_ want to remember anything right now. The season was already enough for him to bear as it was, everything reminding him of the past and he had a desperate need to drown himself in something that would make his head blissfully blurry and unfocused.

Jaebum, the saddest and most forlorn person in England, stood a huge brandy in his hand at the local pub and glared at the snow falling from the sky, catching up with the blowing wind, forming small tornadoes that swept the abandoned, quiet streets. He took a hearty swig, the burn of the liquid running down his throat, warming his insides and settling somewhere in his stomach and clouding his thoughts effectively. Just what he wanted.

He turned from the window and emptied his glass and stormed towards the bar counter to get a refill. He didn’t look around that closely but when a gentle flowery fragrance registered in his brains he turned his head and saw a shy smile directed at him. He smiled back at the woman who was gracious enough to give him that kind of a smile. Sometimes it was good to forget things in a more pleasant way. Sometimes it was just for the need of feeling something soft and endearing close to his heart, sometimes it was just to release some pent up sadness and frustration. But mostly it was just because he was too intoxicated to care to reflect on his actions and did what he felt like doing.

Jaebum turned to walk towards the invitingly smiling woman in question and to forget his troubled heart.

 

**Los Angeles**

Mark was tapping the table he was leaning on to, watching his latest recordings from the computer screen. His mind was wandering slightly because of the tall, slim and quite attractive young man entering his vision from time to time. Mark smiled fondly at Bambam who was moving around the room, mumbling to himself and checking his reflection from the surface of the windows and glass covered paintings on the walls. Mark liked to look at him; he was restless but pretty. He was blunt but infinitely adorable. Mark felt blessed to have someone like that by his side and loving him back.

He tried to focus more on the screen he was supposed to be looking at, and not at his boyfriend, pausing the video only to write some notes down. He was working on creating a choreography for some newcomer who would have a debut music video next month and Mark had been signed up to get the dance part done. He took his job seriously even if he didn’t always care much for the music the dances would end up in, but nobody’s perfect. He loved what he was doing so much he had his own dance studio set up in town and he had always full courses. Mark was pleased with his life right now; he had a dream job, a good home, enough money to do what he wanted and a boyfriend who wasn’t only nice and lovable, but also so cute and handsome it was a wonder they had ended up together.

Mark’s eyes drifted back to Bambam who was now talking animatedly on the phone and smiling widely. Mark felt the smile creeping upon his own lips as he watched at the beaming young man pacing in front of him. Sometimes, life was incredibly perfect.

 

**England**

Jackson was mulling over the kettle he was setting on the stove and stared out of the window with puffy, red eyes and his gaze blank. He had been crying so much he now had a terrible headache and his whole body felt like it was carrying tons of iron bars around with it. He dragged his feet on the floor, mumbling something incoherent, broken sentences and unrelated words time to time. His cat, Nora, followed his moves with unblinking green eyes from the window seat it was sitting. Like it, too, was looking at Jackson with great pity in its eyes.

Jackson halted the before the sink and glared at the knives on the counter. The sharp edges were tucked safely away inside the holder, as they should be. But.. If he was to take one and maybe just test, just a little bit, the sharpness on his throat perhaps… Jackson felt his heart rate increasing, his body flushing with the hot wave the thoughts of hurting himself caused him. The idea was so tempting, so present he almost felt aroused by it. It was possible, to do something like that. And no one would really miss him, would they? It would be a bliss, to be gone and to stop thinking and feeling and loving so much it hurt all the time…

The kettle started to whistle.

Jackson blinked, startled. _Shit!_ What on Earth was he doing! Low point! What the hell was he thinking, trying to end his days, and for what? For one stupid guy? He was better than that, surely. He would _not_ give in to some fleeting, idiotic and suicidal thoughts just because he had his heart broken. No matter how cruelly trampled he may be he would not try to kill himself for something like this.

The laptop on the table made a chiming sound. Jackson ignored it and poured the hot water into his teapot and then shuffled to the cabinet to get the tea leaves. The chiming sound alarmed him again. What on Earth? Jackson forgot what he was doing and bending over to look at the screen he nearly dropped the jar from his hands.

  
_“I’m interested in renting your house for Christmas. If it is possible, it could be a lifesaver.”_

Jackson stared at the screen, perplexed. His mind was racing. He had a vague memory of offering his house for rental on that one site someone had been talking about. He’d done it just for the shits and giggles, but had he ever expected anyone to take up on the offer? Never.

“The house is only available for exchange.” Jackson sat down and typed up. On the other end Jinyoung was startled by getting a response so quickly. He frowned, not really knowing what the exchange meant. Jackson continued his typing, like he knew the other person wasn’t aware of the terms. “We swap everything; houses, cars, everything.. I haven’t done it before but some of my friends have.” Jackson paused. He could get out of the country if he was lucky. “Where are you?” Oh god, please be somewhere far away..

 _“L.A.”_ Jinyoung smiled at his end. He knew was hoping for the impossible most likely but he was starting to wish this exchange thing would actually work out.

“Never been there, always wanted to though. I’m Jackson by the way. Quite normal, single, non-smoker, health freak.. Hate my miserable life.” Jackson smiled a wry smile and thought he could do much worse than doing a jump into the unexpected. No one would ever believe he would do something as impulsive as this.

 _“I’m Jinyoung. Loner, loser, workaholic and a complete wreck.”_ Jinyoung smiled on his end at the sudden connection he felt with this person who he was talking to from the other side of the world. The unimaginable brotherhood of two obviously lonely people was somehow stunning. He tapped the keyboard few times, trying to gather his thoughts. _“I have to say your house looks really idyllic.”_

“Really? Thanks. What’s your place like?” Jackson tugged his earlobe and took a better position on the chair. Maybe he would be lucky and he would end up somewhere actually nice. And sunny. The British weather didn’t really improve his mental state at all.

_“It’s nice, I guess. A bit bigger than yours is.”_

“Not hard to be.” Jackson snorted. He was well aware the house wasn’t the most spacious one but he didn’t need more room because, well.. There really was just him and Nora. He’d gotten so used to the cat already it felt like it was his and not just temporarily placed under his care by a friend.

 _“When can I come?”_ Jinyoung wished this would happen as soon as possible. He would book the tickets right away if Jackson would agree on starting the holiday the closest possible day. He crossed his fingers and stared at the screen his heart thumping hard.

“Tomorrow too soon?” Jackson bit his lip, expecting a denying answer from this Jinyoung person. His heart was pounding so fast and for once he wasn’t thinking about Ben at all. He had no idea if he could even get the plane tickets that fast but he didn’t care, he wanted to be reckless right now and suggesting something so incredibly impossible was pretty damn exhilarating. He waited with baited breath for the other to answer.

 _“It’s perfect.”_ Jinyoung grinned suddenly, his heart filled with unexpected glee. He would get out of the house, out of town and get his heart and mind sorted out in some remote corner of the world where nothing and he meant _nothing,_ would come and disturb him and his process of healing.

“We are on, starting from tomorrow, for two weeks then!” Jackson felt relieved, excited, giddy and a bit like he was high on something really strong. Who could’ve imagined that he would be getting his ass out of the country so soon and probably able to forget all the shit he was going through right now? Not him, that was for sure.

Both men on the each side of connection smiled happily in unison, without knowing they wore the same joyous expression on their faces. Life was unexpectedly brilliant right at this moment and all the doors were open. This Christmas wouldn’t suck so much after all.


	2. New beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's long and it has bnior nommyness in it~  
> 

**Los Angeles**

Warmth. Sunlight. Palm trees. Brightly glistening sea. Jackson rolled down the window of the taxi he had taken from the airport on his way to Jinyoung’s place. He was slightly groggy but the jetlag hadn’t yet completely kicked in and he was way too excited to see where he was going to be spending the next two weeks. The city was stunning so far; everything was so bright and beautiful, people seemed to be smiling all around him and everywhere he looked there was the sea and brightly colored flowers and endless beaches with soft sand. Jackson wanted to yell and laugh; he was so happy to be here.

When the taxi had dropped Jackson off, he was standing in front of huge ornamental iron gates. He stared at them in disbelief. He glanced down at the paper where the address was written. Then he looked at the gates again. _Holy crap._ He walked closer and peered thru the bars. He blinked. The house was _huge_. It was something you expected to see in films and documentaries about rich people but not really expecting it to be real like it was real now, right in front of his eyes.

It was gleaming white, two story house with enormous front yard, huge plants running along the high fence surrounding the grounds and it looked just as expensive as it probably was. Jackson swallowed hard.

“Oh. Shit.” He couldn’t believe his luck.

Once he had managed to roll his popping eyes back into their sockets he hobbled inside and made his way to the front door. The amount of space that greeted him almost took his breath away. He simply dropped his luggage on the floor in the hallway and went on checking every single room he could find.

The living room was so spacious he could’ve fit two of his whole houses in there. The kitchen made his fingers itch even though he wasn’t much of cook. The library was so intense he thought it’d take three lifetimes to get through all those neatly arranged books in the shelves. The room with all the movies fascinated Jackson probably the most. He had very little time to watch anything when he was back in England so he would be spending a great amount of time in that particular room, that was for sure. Then he found the swimming pool in the back and nearly squealed with happiness. And he actually did squeal when he stumbled upon the room with all the gym stuff in it.

Then he saw the bedroom. He smiled. Jackson took few running steps and launched his body right in the middle of the huge bed with fluffy blankets and cozy pillows and fresh sheets. He was in _heaven_.

~

Jackson was in the middle of trying to figure out how to work the enormous DVD system when the phone rang and he had to put down the movie he had been hoping to watch before calling it a day to sleep the time difference off. He picked up the huge pile of papers into his lap after he had glanced at the small screen on the phone.

“Oh, crap. Gate?” Jackson stared at the file which was _supposed_ to instruct him how to handle the controls but he was hopelessly confused and tapped the dials hesitantly. “Argh, hello- Hello? Can you hear me?” Jackson was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be handling anything like this when he was tired; he would end up breaking the whole electrical system or something if he wasn’t paying enough attention to what he was doing. Wouldn’t be the first time either..

“Yeah. It’s Mark.” An unfamiliar voice called out from the other end. “Jinyoung?”

“No, I’m sorry Jinyoung’s not here. I’m trying to figure out how to open the gate.” Jackson frowned at the unhelpful pile of papers in his lap, balancing the phone between his ear and his shoulder, trying to find the correct page. “Oh.. Fuck!” Jackson cursed, half of the papers falling down on the floor into a lovely mess. He discarded the thought of picking them up when he spotted the page he had been looking for and tapped the correct dials to open up the gates. “If you heard that, I’m so sorry!” Jackson called out before placing the phone down and running through the house to reach the front door and meet this person who had interrupted his already confusing day.

“Nice.” Mark chuckled driving the car to the yard as the gates finally opened, smiling to himself.

When Jackson opened the door he saw a silver Porsche with its roof pulled down stopping just in the middle of the yard and a windswept pale blond hair attached to the most attractive face he had seen in a while. The guy who stood up from the car was lean, casually dressed in torn jeans and gray t-shirt, about the same height as Jackson. He had a quirky little smile playing on the fullest, red lips Jackson had ever laid his eyes on.

“I’m sorry about the gate thing. I don’t really know how to manage it yet.” Jackson smiled apologetically at the guy who broke into even wider smile at that.

“It’s fine. It was kind of funny. I’m Mark. I work with Adam.” Jackson liked the low voice Mark had. It was soft and gentle and made him feel somehow instantly relaxed and welcomed.

“Adam?”

“Jinyoung’s ex. I was supposed to pick up some stuff for him. When will Jinyoung be back?”

“Oh, he’s in England actually, on holiday. I’m staying here while he’s away. So. Um, I don’t actually know anything about this so could you possibly come back tomorrow? I want to confirm this with Jinyoung’s assistant.” Jackson scratched his head absent-mindedly and tried to push his hair out of his eyes but the wind kept pushing it back.

“That’s cool. I have time.” Mark smiled and then tilted his head still looking at Jackson quizzically. “So, what’s your name?” By gods, could there really be someone so handsome alive? Jackson felt a bit dazed but it was probably the time difference talking at the moment.

“What..Oh, right. I’m Jackson.” Mark grinned at Jackson’s bafflement. A gust of warm wind blustering right past them ruffled their hair and something suddenly stung Jackson’s eye making him grimace and he instantly lifted his hands to his face. “Ouch! What the..” He groaned, trying to blink but the irritation in his eye was only worsening when he did that.

“You ok?” Mark frowned, peering down at Jackson’s suddenly crumpled up face.

“I think something flew into my eye.” Jackson lowered his hands trying to squint at Mark who stepped closer at him. Jackson could smell the faint fragrance of the cologne Mark was wearing. It was warm, inviting.

“Want me to see if I can take it away?”

“Oh. Ok.” Jackson hesitated only for a fraction of a second but then nodded and leaned towards Mark. He had a perfect close up view at the handsome face and the brown almond shaped eyes. Some people really were blessed with good genes. Jackson could see the slightly chapped bottom lip so close he could’ve just leaned in and…

“Yep. I see it.” Mark reached one hand close to Jackson’s eye and very carefully picked the tiny speck of trash off mixed in with Jackson’s eyelashes. The gentle fingers brushed against Jackson’s forehead and moved the blond hair off from his eyes. “It’s the wind this time of year. The Santa Ana’s. Anything can happen when the Santa Ana’s are blowing.” There was a gleam, a happy kind of a sparkle in Mark’s eyes that caught Jackson’s attention but he didn’t have time to think more on it when a slim figure rose from the car and walked to them.

“Mark?” A pretty, really tall guy with messy auburn hair stopped at Mark’s side and put his hand around his shoulders. “Are you done? I have to be at the airport soon.”

“Yes. I’m done. This is my Bambam. Well, not _mine_ , but.. yeah.” Mark’s flustered smile was so cute Jackson wanted to pinch his cheeks. He didn’t though, just nodded at the young man next to Mark.

“Nice to meet you.” Jackson politely acknowledged Bambam who seemed impatient to get back on moving. “Drop by tomorrow and I’ll have the things you need by then.”

“Ok.” Mark nodded, letting go of Bambam and they walked back to the car. Halfway Mark turned as the wind swooped by him, his ashen hair all over his eyes and he pushed the strands away with one hand and smiled widely. “Don’t blow away!” Then he laughed. Jackson couldn’t help but to laugh too, it was too infectious not to. 

“Anything can happen, huh.” Jackson looked up to the brilliantly blue sky with no clouds tarnishing it, then after the car driving away from the yard. He smiled gently, shook his head and walked back inside.

 

**England**

The way to the cottage had been more than interesting. Jinyoung had had to drag his luggage with him through snow and awful roads as the taxi driver had refused to drive him to his destination. What a load of crap, honestly! Not a very good first impression, really. He had managed somehow in the end and had been pleased to find the cottage just as the picture had showed him and the interior of the house was clean and neat.

Jinyoung had unpacked his clothes and books, roamed around the house, noting in passing that taking a bath would definitely be an adventure, as the tub was so small it could barely fit one person in there. He had perused thru the books and CDs Jackson had. The house was rather chilly, quiet and there was very little to do. So, he had taken the car and driven to the village to get some supplies.

It had caused Jinyoung a few near heart failures as he wasn’t accustomed on driving on the left side of the road. He had managed to, somehow, had done some shopping in the small village the road had led him into and he was lounging in bed watching TV with a pile of snacks next to him and a bottle of red wine keeping his insides warm. Jackson’s cat, Nora, was cuddled up on the other end of the bed, warming his feet. The cat was a friendly creature and Jinyoung had nothing against felines anyway. Having a warm ball of fur next to him was somehow comforting.

The only problem was that he was getting bored and twitchy. He was used to having almost constantly something to work with, something to tinker with and someone to talk to. He could try and talk with Nora, but Jinyoung was quite sure the cat would just look at him with her big eyes and with a quirky impression as if to say; _Stupid human_. How depressing. It was odd to be hauled up in here, in the middle of nowhere and realize he had done something like this in hopes of finding some kind of inner peace if he would be surrounded by anything except the familiar things he lived in. But no. He was lonelier than ever and it was making him edgy and anxious.

The books he had with him, or the ones he found in Jackson’s shelves, did nothing to intrigue his mind and he was unable to concentrate on any of them and thus they lay unopened and untouched. Jinyoung sighed, munched on his chips and stared at the TV screen half hoping he hadn’t done this after all. He wasn’t really suited for leaving his work and all of his life behind him just like that. His life was, and had always been, really busy and he was lousy at even trying to relax. Who was he kidding? This was absolutely ridiculous. He should be back in the States, working on the last minute changes on the album and other things related with it; the promotion, the music video, the artist himself.

With that thought Jinyoung snapped his mouth shut, got up and packed up his belongings back into his luggage. He would fly back to L.A. the next morning.

~

_BANG!_

The hard knocking and banging on the door downstairs startled Jinyoung awake from his sleep. Nora lifted her head next to his pillow and bared her fangs, hissing. He could feel his heart hammering in sudden fright as the banging continued.

Warily Jinyoung got up, slipped the wool socks to his feet and started carefully to cascade down the stairs.

“Who is it?” He called out when he reached the ground floor and stared at the front door.

“It’s me! It’s bloody freezing in here, let me in!”

“Who are you?”

“Jackson.. I swear if you don’t open this blasted door I will take a leak all over it.” The stranger seemed quite serious about his threat so Jinyoung hurried to yank the door open. He was greeted with a hunched back first but then the intruder turned around and an impossibly handsome man was staring at Jinyoung with stupefied enlightenment dawning in his eyes. “You’re not Jackson. Or maybe you are and I’m much more heavily intoxicated than I thought I was.” He swayed a little and grabbed the door frame for support. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you either.” Jinyoung was still sleepy and very wary, but he didn’t get the feeling this man was going to cause him any harm, so he let his guard down just little bit and pushed down the urge to hit his visitor with a club or something. He examined the stranger from head to toe; the auburn hair, the sharp dark eyes, the flawless silhouette, the most perfect lips ever turned up into a small smile.

“Anyway, may I just..?” The man nodded in the general direction of the bathroom and Jinyoung moved out of the way immediately.

“Of.. of course.” He stammered.

“I’m Jaebum. Jackson’s friend. Call me JB, everyone does.” The said Jaebum said when he hurriedly passed Jinyoung by and almost ran to the bathroom.

“I’m Jinyoung.” Jinyoung tried to steady his breath as he closed the door. Ok, he could deal with this. It was no big deal that a friend of the person whose house Jinyoung was borrowing was disturbing him in the middle of the night. It was definitely no big deal that the said friend was extremely good looking and attractive in every possible way Jinyoung could perceive. No problem, none. But his heart was thundering in his chest and it wasn’t just because he had been scared half to death by the abrupt wake up call.

“So, where’s Jackson?” JB said when he returned somewhat calmer. He examined Jinyoung and smiled. Jinyoung felt his insides plummeting.

“He, uh.. He didn’t tell you? He’s in Los Angeles.”

“Jackson? No way. He never goes anywhere. Why is he in there?” JB slurred just slightly but his gaze was keen and curious as the kept staring at Jinyoung.

“Well, he enlisted his house on a home-exchange site and I found it. So he’s at my house in L.A. and I’m here. For two weeks.”

“People really do that, huh?” JB measured Jinyoung and he felt himself blushing slightly, the gaze was quite probing. “Well, obviously because here you are. In Jackson’s house and in your PJ’s.” Then JB swayed a bit dangerously. “Do you mind terribly if I sit down? I feel like I will bump into you if I don’t.”

“Sure. Sit.” Jinyoung followed JB into the small living room and watched the other almost crashing onto the couch.

“Look.. I’m terribly sorry for turning up like this. I have a habit of getting piss drunk every now and then and Jackson is kind enough to put up with me when I get too pissed to drive back home.” JB flashed an endearing smile at Jinyoung. “So, how is it going so far? Apart from me ruining your night like this, that is.”

“Not so great. I’m flying back tomorrow.”

“That bad, eh? We’ve made a great impression on you, haven’t we?”

“It’s not that. I.. I shouldn’t have done this. I’m not really myself right now. I came here on a stupid whim. Very unlike me.” Jinyoung wanted to say he had come here to forget about Adam but who was he kidding? Adam meant nothing to him anymore. “Would you like something to drink? Water, tea, coffee.. Wine, perhaps?”

“I think.. I think there’s a bottle of brandy in there. Have a glass with me?” JB’s smile was wide, disarming and it reached his eyes in just the right way and Jinyoung found himself giving in too easily. If he wasn’t careful he would do something really stupid. He fetched the bottle and pair of glasses, poured the drinks and handed the other one to JB.

“Cheers.” They both said, raising the glasses just a little in salute and then downed the brown liquid. It burned as it went down, the heat settling in the pit of Jinyoung’s stomach. He tried to be casual and relax but he could feel himself tensing under the scrutiny of the other.

“Would you mind terribly if I crashed the night? I promise you won’t ever see me again.” Jaebum lowered his head a little and glanced at Jinyoung under his brow. The effect was too much for him to bear and Jinyoung looked aside to hide his blush rising to his cheeks.

“Sure. Ok.” He hesitated as to where was he supposed to get JB the things he needed for sleeping as this certainly wasn’t his house. Had something like this happened back at his place he would have just directed the crashing person to the guest room. No such thing in this small house.

“The blankets are in the cupboard, on top of the Scrabble.” JB offered the help leaning back and taking more relaxed position. “So, why are you not yourself right now?” He watched as Jinyoung pulled the pile of blankets out of the cupboard and placed them on the coffee table before sitting next to him on the couch.

“Well..” Jinyoung pondered for a moment should he lie and tell some made-up story or go with the truth. He chose the latter. He didn’t have anything to lose because he wouldn’t see this person ever again after he would get on that plane tomorrow. “I broke up with someone. Yesterday. So I thought a change of scenery would make it all better if I just was somewhere other than home. But, I came here and I’m more confused and more alone than I was back there. Bet you’re glad you knocked on the door.”

“I am, actually.” JB gave him a wide smile and Jinyoung could see the even row of sparkling white teeth. It was starting to get too difficult to concentrate on anything reasonable and he should get up quite early anyway.

“Uh..Ok. Well. I should go to sleep.” Jinyoung muttered, trying to hide his discomfort. The drunken flirt JB was directing at him wasn’t helping at all. But Jinyoung hesitated for just a fraction of a second.

“Sweet dreams.” The words got drowned when JB quite unexpectedly leaned forward and pressed a small kiss straight to Jinyoung’s lips. He froze. JB backed away, his head tilted to the side and he was frowning slightly. Jinyoung sat there stiff, his body completely unmoving but his thoughts were surprisingly clear even if he was shocked that JB had kissed him just like that. Then he looked at his guest, narrowing his eyes.

“Could… Could you do that again?” Jinyoung asked tentatively, his mind circling. JB said nothing, just raised his brows in surprise and leaned in to kiss his lips again, the touch lingering a bit longer this time. It was soft, questioning.

“Bad?” JB asked after backing away, biting down on his bottom lip.

“No. It’s not that. It’s weird. Kissing a total stranger.” Jinyoung pursed his lips. He was feeling something he hadn’t felt in ages. Slow warmth that crept around his body, starting from his belly. His heart was beating faster as well. “Let me try this.” He leaned forward and closed his eyes, initiating the kiss this time. It lasted a little longer and when they parted, Jinyoung could definitely feel the butterflies fluttering inside his guts and a small tremor shaking his entire body.

“Worse?”

“No. Definitely not that.” Jinyoung bit his lip, focusing his eyes on JB so casually sitting in front of him. “You know, given that I’m in a bit of a personal crisis here and in a complete stranger’s house with you popping up from nowhere.. And you’re like insanely good looking and really drunk and probably have no memory of any of this tomorrow.. I think, despite all that, we should have sex. If you want to?” Jinyoung wasn’t really sure what made him say this but he was feeling so hot and whimsical all of a sudden. Wasn’t this what vacation was supposed to be like? Meeting a stranger and creating fleeting moments of happiness that would end up as golden framed memories in his mind after years?

“Is that a trick question?” JB chuckled.

“Well.. I know I won’t be seeing you like, ever again, so this is kind of exciting. Kissing a stranger, having sex with a stranger.. And you wouldn’t even have to try to remember my name tomorrow because I will be leaving early.”

“It all sounded so tempting until you made me sound like a cheap boy toy.” JB said but the smile on his lips took the edge off from his words.

“Oh, I should warn you though. I’m not very good at this.” Jinyoung made a wry smile as certain memories came back to him.

“This, being what?”

“Sex.” No point in denying it. He’d heard it too many times to forget the stinging feeling it had left him with.

“That can’t be true.” JB grinned. “You’re like, as you put it, insanely good looking and have very interesting way of thinking. How could you be bad?”

“I’ve heard it, few times. From my ex. Guy does not forget that sort of thing.” Jinyoung leaned forward and inhaled the liquor scented breath from JB’s lips. Then he licked the bottom lip of the other quickly before he retreated. 

“Now, see here. If that’s not proof of your skills I don’t know what is.” JB smiled, took a firm hold of Jinyoung’s face with both of his hands and pushed their lips back together, this time prying Jinyoung’s mouth open with his tongue. Jinyoung let out a small gasp, the plummeting feeling inside him making him dizzy and hot, the closeness and intoxicating feeling of JB kissing him so deeply taking control of everything else he might have had left in his mind. He fell on his back as JB climbed over him and after that he forgot everything else.

 

**Los Angeles**

Jackson woke up yawning, and stretched. He delighted in seeing the huge bed on which he was cuddled up in the middle, under a pile of blankets that made him feel like he was surrounded by the softest clouds made from cotton. The sleep was still lingering, making him drowsy. He had been dreaming of something nice but the dream was evaporating as his thoughts began to clear. Too bad, it had been a good dream, about something comforting and warm and something that had made his heart swell with joy. Like soft sweaters on someone nice to hug close. Oh well, the feeling at least remained. Jackson blinked, smiled and took a deep breath. Now, what should he do today?

The sound of the phone ringing on the night table halted his speculations and he picked it up without bothering to look at the caller ID.

“Hello.” Jackson was still smiling, his feelings high and happy at the moment. He really liked mornings when he woke up full of energy and determination to live the day to its fullest.

 _“Where am I finding you?”_ A familiar, dreadfully familiar, voice called out to him. Jackson could almost see the happy feelings drifting away from him when his brains recognized the source of that voice.

“Ben.” Jackson managed to choke out. Why was the dipshit calling him here? What could the asshole possibly have to say to him after goading him along for years and then getting engaged to that fluff-brained bitch, just like that?

 _“Is it okay that I’m calling you?”_ Ben’s voice was soft, pleading and Jackson could hear the smile playing on his lips. Of course it wasn’t ok! Jackson wanted to scream and throw the phone away and hide from the world but he was weak, so incredibly weak when it came to Ben.

“I guess so.” Jackson mumbled, his thoughts back in that gloomy, depressed state they had been just a day earlier before his sudden adventure had whisked the sadness away for a while. But no happiness could hold against the power of shit hitting the fan and pouring all over him. “How are you?”

 _“Could we start with something little less complicated?”_ Ben’s answer was infuriating, so vague and Jackson was sure the fucker knew exactly what it was doing to his poor heart. He sat up immediately, the worry crashing over him even if he wanted it not to.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

 _“It’s just that… I'm having some serious problems with my book. I could really use some Jackson magic..”_ Jackson fell back onto the bed and closed his eyes. That was the reason? And he had already thought for some miserable seconds the idiot would tell him he had dumped the hag and wanted Jackson back. _“Would it be ok if I sent you some pages? I mean, I don’t want to mess you up but I really need you.”_

“I.. guess so. If you need me.” Jackson hesitated. His head was screaming at him he shouldn’t do this but his heart was so weak, so easy and it felt pitifully warmed up by the mention of Ben needing Jackson. How lame. How awful. And Jackson let it all happen even when he knew he shouldn’t.

 _“Great! I’ll- Oh, hi honey. Yes, I’m calling the florist right after I finish this. No, it’s just work things.”_ Obviously the cunt had appeared. Jackson groaned silently and buried his face in a pillow. He didn’t want this. He wanted to forget and feel free and happy and kick Ben in the face for ruining him so completely. _“I’ll mail you the pages. Look for them, ok?”_

“Right. Okay..” Jackson murmured, heard the connection clicking as the call ended. He groaned out loud this time and shut his eyes. Would this ever get any better? Would he always be haunted by that man who had made him feel like he was the one to blame for everything that had happened? Jackson sighed. He wasn’t ready to face the day after all.

~

A few hours later, Jackson had managed to haul his ass out of the bed and had decided he should definitely do something other than mope around. He was, after all, in a different country, far far away from Ben and his antics and Jackson would get over this. One day. So, he had gotten up and jumped into the pool to cool off his racing thoughts.

Swimming and working out for some time did the trick for his mental state and he finally felt ready to leave the sanctity of the house. He was just about to hop into Jinyoung’s car when he saw a fluffy white ball moving rather fast across the yard. He stared at the moving fluffy thing a while before he realized it was a dog. Such a small thing and it ran straight to Jacksons’ feet and sat down to look up at him expectantly.

“Hi there you.” Jackson knelt down to ruffle the soft drooping ears. “Where’s your owner?” He checked the neck but there was no collar. Jackson looked up and frowned. Well, the dog could belong to anyone for all he knew. It could’ve run a great distance to end up here so it was quite impossible to say where the owner might be. “Well, I should take you along, shouldn’t I? Maybe we’ll run into your mistress or master along the way.” He picked the furball up and smiled at it. He liked dogs that weren’t too big and were quiet, you know, pocket size. This particular individual was calm and only licked his hand once. Then it looked at Jackson with big round eyes like it already trusted him with its whole life.

Jackson got in the car and placed the dog on the seat next to him and drove out of the gates. He would circle around the neighborhood first, before he would decide if he should take the animal into some shelter. Who knows, maybe he would be lucky finding the owner.

He didn’t get very far when he spotted a young man running aimlessly towards him. The man was peering into bushes and spinning around as he moved along the road. Jackson had a fairly good hunch he had just found the missing owner. He stopped the car, stepped out and called out to the wandering man.

“Have you lost a dog by any chance?” Jackson smiled, hoping against hope this really was a stroke of incredible luck.

“Yes! Have you seen her? A small white thing and no collar. She ran away before I managed to put it on.”

“You’re in luck, my friend. I just happened to stumble upon her. Or, more like, _she_ ran to _me_.” Jackson opened the door and fetched the quietly sitting dog from the front seat and held the snuffling animal in one hand. “This one?”

“Coco!” The sudden smile of relief the stranger had over his face was endearing. Jackson handed the dog, Coco, back to the loving embrace of her owner and chuckled softly when the dog started to squirm and lick her owner’s face rather enthusiastically.

“Well, I’m glad she’s safe now.”

“Thank you so much. Is there anything I can do for you to thank you for this?” The man was young, perhaps around the same age as Jackson was, wore a bit unusual set of dark clothes on him but he had an open, kind face and a friendly smile on his lips. Jackson decided on the spot he liked the guy.

“I know this might be a bit much to ask for.. But I just arrived yesterday and I don’t really know anyone here, or where to go, so would you be so kind and have dinner with me?”

“Of course!” The reply came without any hesitation and took Jackson by surprise even when he had been the one to ask the question. “I have nothing pressing anyway so let me just drop Coco back home and change clothes and I’ll be ready to leave.” He smiled at Jackson. “I’m Youngjae.” He held out his hand and Jackson took it.

“Jackson.”

~

“Wait, wait.” Jackson was waving his hand in front of him. “You’re saying you worked with _the_ Howard Shore? Amazing!” They were sitting in a fancy restaurant, their dinner already eaten and they were talking animatedly about their lives. Jackson was amazed with Youngjae. The guy may be young but he had achieved much already. Made him feel like anything he’d ever done in his life was nothing compared to this fellow sitting comfortably in front of him.

“Well, yes. I did. It was an incredible experience. Brutal and horribly tight-scheduled but I managed to be there during the whole time. It was what opened so many doors for me after the films were released.” Youngjae smiled that wide, toothy smile Jackson had already gotten used to looking at flashing almost constantly over that bright face. “But you know what I’ve been asking myself here?”

“What? Why am I bothering you with all these stupid questions?” Jackson snorted into his glass of water but smiled, not intending to sound like a total ass.

“I’m just wondering why a nice guy like you would end up half the world away in a stranger’s house, and on top of it all, asking a random fellow on the street for dinner?” Youngjae raised his eyebrows, staring at Jackson with all the curiosity in the world written on his features. Jackson sighed, remembering once again the reason why he’d been so impulsive.

“Well.. I..” He hesitated for a while, not sure if he should spill the beans or not. “I just had to get away from all the people. Well, not all. Just one. An ex-boyfriend.” Jackson inhaled deeply before blurting out the rest, it was better to start accepting the facts. “An ex who just very conveniently forgot to tell me he got engaged to a girl and I found out about it the moment they announced it to the whole world.”

“So, he’s an ass.” Youngjae shrugged.

“Yes, as a matter of fact he’s a huge ass.” Jackson wiped his eyes. Why was he getting teary eyed over this? And in public too. “How did you figure that out?”

“He let you go.” Youngjae smiled comfortingly at Jackson. “It’s not hard to see you’re a great guy.” Youngjae pursed his lips. “You know, in movies you have the leading man and the best friend. You, I can tell, are the leading man. But for some reason you are acting like the best friend.” Jackson stared at the man who was few years younger than him but had summarized his whole life just like that.

“You… You just explained my entire problem like it was the easiest thing to deduce. I’ve been going to a therapist for three years and he’s never managed to utter anything so sensible during all that time. It was honest. And brutal. But thank you.” Jackson buried his face to his hands and tried to calm himself. Youngjae reached over the table and patted his head gently. 

“You’ll get over it.”

 

**England**

Jinyoung stood at the airport security checkpoint but his mind was elsewhere. His thoughts lingered on the conversation he had had with JB this morning before they parted; JB to where ever he was going and Jinyoung to the airport.

After the night of incredible sex Jinyoung had woken up with the tousled mop of reddish hair right next to his face and the naked body of JB sleeping soundly right beside him. Jinyoung had sneaked out of bed and downstairs to have some post-coital remorse. He had actually had sex with a complete stranger and he didn’t even find it in him to feel guilty in any level about it.

He was just making coffee when his guest walked down the stairs and smiled widely when seeing Jinyoung in the kitchen all dressed up.

“Good morning.” JB’s smile nearly melted his knees and Jinyoung took some support from the counter next to him.

“Good morning..” He answered hesitantly. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling and the overpowering urge to convince his one night stand that this was ok and they didn’t have to talk at all was trying to surface the longer he watched the man in front of him. But before he could open his mouth, JB got ahead of him.

“Listen, Jinyoung. I really..” Before he could go any further Jinyoung interrupted his speech.

“Look, you don’t have to say anything. Really.” Jinyoung tried to smile warmly, convincingly. “It was really great meeting you and last night was really something, but seriously. Don’t sweat on it.”

“I just wanted to be sure you’re ok. I tend to hurt people because I’m what I am so..”

“Seriously. Don’t worry. I wasn’t going to fall in love with you.”

“Okay, very blunt. But thank you, I guess?”

“No, it’s just that I know myself. I don’t think I can even fall in love like people usually do. So you don’t have to worry about anything. You’ll never have to see me again.”

“But.. what if I wanted to see you again?” Well, that wasn’t what he had expected to hear. JB continued, licking his lips slowly and glancing at Jinyoung under his brow. “I know you said you would be leaving and I’d never have to fear bumping into you ever again. But. If your flight is canceled, or you for some odd reason have a change of heart.. I’m having dinner with some friends at the pub this evening.. and if not. Well. You’re absolutely lovely.” JB ended his talking with a smile that was about cause Jinyoung a heart attack.

“I.. uh. I..” Jinyoung was unable to finish his sentence. His head was spinning and he didn’t really have any idea as to what he could or should say to something like that. “Well. So are you.” He finally managed to mutter to his downright embarrassment.

The clerk at the check-in gave Jinyoung his approval after checking his bag. Jinyoung took his belongings, walked somewhere where he wasn’t in anyone’s way and leaned on the wall behind him, closing his eyes. What was he doing? Honestly? His mind was so filled with the images from last night it made his heart jump up to his throat and pulse there; JB’s broad shoulders above him, the feel of his muscles under Jinyoung’s fingers and his lips all over Jinyoung’s neck and collarbones. The heavy breathing in his ears like the sweetest notes ever composed. The incredible passion they had shared still tickling his nerves.

Jinyoung swallowed hard, biting his lip. He was such a fool.

~

The pub was full when JB walked in and glanced around to see where his friends were sitting. He spotted them and walked towards the table, trying to be casual even if he was anxiously trying to see if he could find the silken black hair sticking out somewhere in the midst of the redheads and blonds. When he didn’t see anything even remotely like that, he sighed, defeated.

It had been an impossible dream anyway. To have one incredible night with a guy he had just met randomly in unbelievable circumstances was something he had thought would only happen in movies or books. But there it was, happening in his life. The memory of that lithe body writhing in his arms was something so powerful JB thought he would choke from all the feelings gathering inside him.

He sat down in front of his friends, smiling at them wistfully. But when he turned his head he saw something that caused his heart to stop for a while and then speed up; there was the black hair, the narrow dark eyes, the faintest smile playing on the full lips of Jinyoung who sat in a lone table with a glass of wine in his hands. Their eyes locked and they both smiled more warmly.

Maybe the movies and books weren’t all that wrong after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you like it? There'll be more markson in the next chapter. I swear I get all mushy and giggly when I'm writing about those two..


	3. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is un-betaed so forgive me the likely mistakes in there.

**England**

The day was nearing noon when Jinyoung finally managed to stumble downstairs and try to find his way to the kitchen. His head was killing him and he had horrible nausea twisting his guts. It seemed the world didn’t to want to stay in one place either.

“Good morning sunshine.” A horribly familiar voice called out to him, the amusement clear in it and Jinyoung lifted his head to peer at whoever it was who witnessed his chagrin. Of course.. It just had to be JB.

“I.. I’m quite sure I have never drank that much in my life. Ever.” Jinyoung leaned on the wall nearest him. He wanted to hug the wall; it was like a safe haven in this stormy sea of nausea and dizziness rocking him not so gently.

“Yes, I believe no one has.” JB grinned viciously. Then Jinyoung spotted a pair of pants hanging loosely from the door handle. _His_ pants. He grabbed them quickly and hugged the garment close to his chest, his eyes huge and mind racing. He had absolutely _no_ recollection of how these had ended up on that particular spot. “I had nothing to do with that.” JB informed him calmly.

“But you saw me, didn’t you?” Jinyoung was mortified. He would keep his distance from alcohol from now on. Clearly it was not suitable for him to consume liberal amounts of anything stronger than tea.

“Oh yes, I did.” JB’s grin turned even wider and he wriggled his eyebrows at Jinyoung, who wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock and die. This was too horrible to be true. Had he actually torn his clothes off in front JB and… What _had_ happened anyway?

“The last thing I remember was getting back here and.. doing something.” Jinyoung racked his brains but nothing in particular came up. “So I guess we.. uh.. did we.. You know? That?” He made some vague gestures towards upstairs and even vaguer gesturing that was supposed to imply at sexual things. JB shook his head.

“No. We didn’t. I don’t have the habit of having sex with people who are unconscious.” Jinyoung stared at him, not wanting believe what he had just heard. _Oh gods_ …

“Unconscious? Oh my god.. That must’ve been pretty.” Jinyoung glanced at JB who was clearly amused by all this and not one bit concerned about how horribly embarrassed Jinyoung was feeling. “Why did you stay?”

“You asked me to.” JB put the coffee cup down and folded his arms to his chest, examining Jinyoung. “Actually, you were _begging_ me to stay at one point.” The grin he directed at Jinyoung was incredulous.

“I did, didn’t I?” Jinyoung groaned, a vague memory popping back to his hazy mind. This was just getting worse by the minute.

“The moment I met you it’s been an adventure.” JB chuckled softly. He paused, kept silent for a long time while he watched Jinyoung flopping onto a free chair by the table, burying his head to his hands and moaning pitifully. “You should get dressed. Not that I mind looking at you half naked, sitting before my eyes.” JB suddenly announced, the vicious glee making his eyes shine. “I want to take you out properly.”

“Uh, why?” Jinyoung didn’t bother lifting his head up from the hiding place he had so conveniently discovered, so his words were muffled and grumpy. He was quite sure he was the opposite of good company in his current state.

“Because.. Well, why not? ” JB raised his eyebrows and left the words hanging in air between them. Jinyoung dragged his head up and glared at the ridiculously gorgeous man staring down at him. Ok, the idea wasn’t that horrible, but… Jinyoung pursed his lips, closed his eyes, trying to think of a good enough reason for him to go back to bed and sleep this disgusting, self-inflicted condition off.

“Fine. I just need to take a shower first.” He would do this with a smile on his face. Or he would do this, _cry,_ and still keep that smile on his face.

~

It was amazing what miracles shower could do to a person. Jinyoung felt almost like a human being again. JB had driven them to the village and Jinyoung had been led into an old manor house, which had been turned into a restaurant. JB was sitting in front of him, leaning to his elbows, his chin propped to his hands. He was watching Jinyoung’s every move with keen eyes while they were waiting for their orders to arrive.

“Why did you become a book editor?” Jinyoung asked sternly after JB had revealed his profession.

“I guess I’m a bit of a nerd.” JB stifled his laughter at the serious tone Jinyoung had.

“Are you a good editor?” He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“The worst kind.” JB had trouble keeping his face straight. Jinyoung was so stiff at the moment and the situation felt more like job interview rather than a casual date.

“No, I meant do you give a lot of notes or hunt down your writers and pester them about their poor grammar or..” Jinyoung left the question hanging in air.

“You know it is called book editing, not witch hunting.” JB had to take few deep breaths to calm himself down or he would start laughing.

“Very funny, ha ha.” Jinyoung pursed his lips and his mind wandering around. “How do you know Jackson?”

“We met in school, he turned to sports reporting after he quit fencing and I have always loved literature. I like a good novel anytime but it’s not my whole world.” JB finally cracked and started to laugh softly. “You know this is a bit too intense even for me. Do you have any idea how uptight you are?”

“I’m.. sorry. I wasn’t all that nice, was I?” Jinyoung said a bit sheepishly and glanced at the tableware in front of him before looking back at JB. The curve of his upper lip was absolutely tantalizing and Jinyoung had to force his eyes elsewhere. “I haven’t been on a first date since.. God, I don’t even remember the last time.”

“It shouldn’t be that hard. We’ve already had sex once and slept together twice, so you don’t have to be wary of first impressions or anything. Why are you blushing?” JB snickered at the flush rapidly spreading over Jinyoung’s cheeks.

“You don’t have to announce those things in public!” Jinyoung hissed, glancing around him if anyone was staring at them and being judgmental about two guys so casually talking about sex with other guys.

“It’s not that frowned upon here you know.” JB shrugged. “Though, I have a confession to make.” He looked down at his plate, biting his lips thoughtfully and seemed to gather his thoughts before looking up again. “I’ve never been with a man before you.” Jinyoung felt his mouth gaping open.

“I’m your first?” And here he was, thinking that JB actually knew what he had been doing because, let’s face it, the sex had been _so good_. “I’m honored. And a bit confused. So, are you straight?”

“No, not really. Just haven’t met the right guy. Until you waltzed into my life.” JB seemed to be a bit wary about his revealed secret and he looked away. “Does it bother you?”

“Technically it was _you_ who waltzed into _mine_.” Jinyoung reached over the table and took JB’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. JB seemed to relax at that and he turned his eyes back to Jinyoung. “No, it doesn’t bother me at all. You certainly knew what you were doing.” Jinyoung let go of the hand a bit regretfully.

“I try to keep up some standards.” JB winked and flashed an impish smile at his companion. Jinyoung burst out laughing.

They talked more while they were eating, JB explaining animatedly about his work and some of the books he had really fallen in love with. Jinyoung revealed his own profession and was mildly surprised that the fact he was successful music producer didn’t put JB off at all. Usually people got somewhat intimidated when they met a person who had made something out of their life. Jinyoung was relieved this time it wasn’t like that. JB just shrugged it off and said he had known Jinyoung had to be successful because he was so incredible anyway. Cheesy, but it got to Jinyoung in a way he didn’t want to admit; he felt warm, comfortable and relaxed. Something he hadn’t felt in ages with someone.

The hours passed on; they kept talking and walking outside, their hands somehow finding each other and fingers lacing together. It was like they were teenagers again, the way they kept stealing small glances at each other and blushing each time they got caught in the act. They laughed at the most stupid jokes, like they were the best ones ever uttered, and kept hugging tightly at every possible turn; behind bushes and trees, stealing kisses all the while from eager lips.

JB was a perfect, though somewhat naughty, gentleman. He made an excellent tour guide as they walked thru the village, even if there wasn’t too much history to talk about. He made up silly stories about the people living there half the time and Jinyoung couldn’t help but to laugh. JB wasn’t what Jinyoung usually would have called a personality that attracted him, but the more the hours passed the more he felt drawn to JB. It was a bit scary, to feel so infatuated and so quickly. He was torn between wanting to let go of everything holding him back and the sensible part of his brains telling him it wasn't a good idea to get involved with JB right now.

When JB drove Jinyoung back to Jackson’s house they sat a while quiet in the car, just looking out of over the fields surrounding them.

“I glad you took me out today. I can’t remember the last time I’ve enjoyed myself so much.” Jinyoung finally said softly, turning to look at JB who was smiling wistfully.

“You sound like you’re going to say goodbye.”

“JB, be realistic. I’m going back to L.A. next week and having a fling, or whatever this is, is all good and swell, but to make this more complicated… I don’t think I can handle complicated right now.” Jinyoung huffed and bit down on his lip. “Look, I’m tired and I have a hangover. I’ll just go in and sleep it off. I’m not saying goodbye or anything. We’ll see each other before I leave, right?” At least he hoped they would. He just needed to calm his raging hormones down a bit before it would be safe to face JB again.

“I guess so. Anyway, I have work tomorrow, so I’m not going to be banging on your door tonight. Don’t worry.” JB gave Jinyoung a small, almost sad, smile. He reached out and caressed Jinyoung’s cheek gently with his fingers. 

“It’ll be ok. Somehow.” Jinyoung breathed out, his heart pounding fast and his body tense because of the sensation when touched like that. He wanted to hug JB, hold him close and feel those arms around him, shielding him from the world. But he resisted the urges and got out of the car and hurried inside without looking back.

 

**Los Angeles**

Jackson was laughing when he opened the door to the house. When he saw Mark on the steps his smile just got wider. What a welcome sight. Mark had a white button up shirt under his grey hoodie, the buttons were nicely left open from the top, revealing part of the pale chest under. The black skinny jeans were hugging his incredibly nice legs so very tightly, and Jackson thought he would give away his admiration if he kept staring any more obviously. He coughed and smiled.

“Bad timing?” Mark raised one eyebrow when he heard the chorus of laughter echoing from inside the house. Jackson hoped Mark hadn’t paid any attention to where his gaze had been wandering; he tried very hard to keep it above Mark’s waistline.

“No, no. I’m just having an impromptu pre-Christmas party with some new friends.” Jackson grinned at the bafflement on Mark’s face. “I met a neighbor and the rest are his friends. Nice people.”

“Sounds fun.” Mark chuckled lightly.

“Want to come in for a bit?” Jackson smiled warmly at Mark, tilting his head to the side just a little.

“Sure, I can sing Jingle bells. You look really good by the way.” Mark was examining Jackson thoughtfully. Jackson cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed. He knew he wasn’t all that awful now that he had had the chance to clean up and put on some decent clothes; white dress shirt, carelessly opened top buttons and black jeans. His bleached hair had a new shave on both sides of his head and the rest of the hair was pushed back.

“Thanks..” Jackson saw the grin spreading onto Mark’s face as Jackson visibly blushed at his words. “Come in, come in.” He waved a hand in a gesture for Mark to enter, and to hide his self-consciousness. It would be better to have Mark walking next to him, rather than Mark walking ahead and giving Jackson the perfect view to his ass. Or the other way round.

“I didn’t realize you were this magnetic. Had I known I would have come prepared with some kind of emotional shield to ward off your charms.” Mark gave Jackson a playful little grin. It was impossible not to like him. “Being nice and charming on top of being good looking is always a fatal combination.” Jackson had the decency to actually turn bright red at Mark’s words. “I think I might be in serious danger here.”

“Oh, shut it..” Jackson mumbled quietly, but smiled anyway, all the compliments going straight thru his heart. “You’re not bad for the eyes either.”

“Glad you approve.” Mark cocked one eyebrow and winked mischievously.

They joined the rest of the gang huddled in the living room with all the food and drinks scattered over the tables. It was easy to fall in with the laughter in such positive company. Mark seemed to have no trouble at all to mingle with Youngjae and his friends who had attended the surprise get together. Jackson kept feeling like someone was pumping him full of nitrous oxide because he kept giggling and howling with laughter the longer they talked.

“So, Mark. Are you seeing anyone at the moment?” Youngjae suddenly asked after a small lull in the conversations; everyone was cozy in their chairs and patting their stuffed stomachs happily. Mark didn’t even get abashed when asked so straightforwardly about his personal life. He gave a happy smile to Youngjae.

“I am.” Mark chewed on his lips absently. “I’ve been going out with this gorgeous model for two months now. It’s not very serious yet and I don’t know what he sees in me, but I’m not complaining.” Jackson almost snorted.

“Are you kidding me? Who wouldn’t want to date you; good looking, nice, talented and not to mention you aren’t mentally unbalanced.” Jackson counted the things he said with his fingers. Mark was actually giggling next to him. Jackson gave him a lopsided grin, punched Mark’s shoulder playfully and decided to drop the issue. “So, he’s a model?” Jackson asked, curious. “Has he done anything big yet?”

“Just some small gigs so far.” Mark shrugged.

“And he’s not with you tonight because?” Youngjae asked, his eyes darting between Jackson and Mark like he knew something they didn’t.

“He’s on a set in New Mexico.” Mark seemed genuinely happy that his partner was working and not minding at all he was alone this time of the year. Usually couples spent the holiday season cuddled up together, cooing disgustingly syrupy things to each other.

“Too bad for him then. We were lucky to have you with us.” Youngjae smirked and then yawned, stretching his arms high in the air. “Well, I think it’s time to wrap up and go back home. I know my lady is waiting for me most anxiously and I don’t want to distress her. Even if she was behaving badly earlier today.” Then he smiled at Jackson. “But it brought new people into my life, so I’m not that mad with her.” Jackson just laughed.

When Youngjae and his friends had departed Jackson remained alone with Mark, talking comfortably about their jobs and life in general, though Jackson deliberately avoided talking about his personal relationships. He didn’t want to cause another scene by getting upset or start crying. He was way too happy spending time with Mark who seemed like someone he had known all his life.

Mark was already stunningly handsome on the outside, but the more they kept talking the more Jackson realized the guy was even more handsome on the inside. He was kind, modest and easy to laugh with, and he had a quirky sense of humor that appealed to Jackson.

“I can’t believe you’ve never considered on taking any dancing lessons. Jackson, come by my studio and I’ll give you private lessons. You’ve got the body and mind for it, believe me.” Mark was trying to convince Jackson and bumped his shoulder in a friendly manner to Jackson’s as they walked towards the front door.

“I’ll think about it, ok?” Jackson grinned. The thought of spending more time with Mark certainly didn’t feel like a bad idea, it was more that Jackson was a bit wary of not believing he could do something like what Mark was doing. Mark was so agile, so fluent and moved with such grace it was sometimes impossible to tear eyes off of him.

“Good. I’ll be dragging you out of your shell sooner or later.” Mark laughed. Then he turned to say his goodbyes. “I’m glad you came here on vacation, I had fun tonight. Good night.” Then he leaned in to kiss Jackson on the cheek. It was quick, very friendly and very platonic, but Jackson felt his cheek burning where the full lips had touched him.

“I’m leaning towards those feelings myself.” Jackson chuckled.

“We could watch together some of the movies Youngjae was talking about?” Mark suggested, his smile warm. Jackson admired the way how every single smile Mark flashed showed up in his eyes and made them almost sparkle like in animated programs. He wished he could give out something like that, but Jackson was sure he wasn’t at all _that_ sparkling in any situation.

“Yeah, that’d be cool.”

“Great! I’ll definitely call you then.” Mark leaned over once more, pressing his lips to Jackson’s cheek again without even thinking what he was doing. The touch lingered much longer than the first one and it felt different, more present and more romantic somehow. Jackson was sure his face was ruby red by now. He could smell the cologne Mark was wearing again, but much stronger this time. It went up to his head like the wine they had been drinking all evening. Jackson exhaled slowly when Mark pulled away. “Ok, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kiss you like that.” Mark bit his bottom lip, slightly confused. Jackson could’ve squeezed the man right there and then, he was so adorable!

“Don’t sweat it.” Jackson just smiled, trying to act normal even if his body was pleasantly thrumming now. Mark turned on his heels with a smile on his lips and walked towards his car. Halfway he turned back to look at Jackson as the strong gusts of warm wind blew by him and ruffled his hair.

“Officially crazy weather!” Mark called out and laughed.

“Don’t blow away!” Jackson waved his hand and watched the car driving away, his mind filled with the warmth Mark had brought to him by being so nice and gentlemanly. How easily you could be influenced by mere strangers in just few hours.

 

**England**

Jinyoung lay under the warm water in the small bathtub, half of his legs sticking out. He was mumbling and muttering to himself irritated and his thoughts were running in circles. What exactly did he mean with _can’t handle complicated_? Ugh, he was so disgusting! What a douche he could be, seriously. He sank lower under the water until his chin was touching the surface. He grimaced.

Being a total dick wasn’t anything new from him, apparently. Jinyoung had to be honest about himself; he was a sworn workaholic, had very little interest in humans in general and preferred his partners decent, quiet and mostly away from him. Basically he preferred to be alone and not in a relationship. But if he, for some reason _did_ happen to be in a relationship, he had to admit he did turn out pretty damn cold in the end. He could be distant, avoid his partner and start acting downright hostile if the other party decided to make an appearance when it was inconvenient.

Just when exactly had he turned out like this? Jinyoung grunted, displeased. He hated doing this self-searching, it always left him feeling so vulnerable and naked. He guessed he had some issues in the past. Something that kept him from falling in love with anyone so completely it would make him ditch the old habits and change.

The question remained; did he even _want to_ change?

Jinyoung kicked the water angrily and it splashed all over the bathroom walls and floor. He had found something incredible in such an unexpected place and what was he doing? Pushing the guy away like he always did!

Jinyoung grit his teeth together and got up abruptly, his mind set.

~

He had dressed up in light gray turtle neck sweater, black suit pants, combed his hair so it was nice and smooth. He had taken Jackson’s car and driven out into the darkness, determined to explain himself to JB. He had to squint at the map he was holding quite a lot before he found his destination. Jinyoung got out of the car, straightened his jacket, took a deep breath of the cold evening air and walked through the gate leading to the front door. The lights were on so he guessed JB was still up, even if it was getting a bit late.

“Here goes..” Jinyoung muttered to himself feeling suddenly incredibly nervous and knocked on the door, hoping against hope he’d have the courage to go through this and throw his pride to wind for once. The door creaked open and JB’s head appeared. “Surprise..” Jinyoung said softly and tried to smile disarmingly.

“It certainly is.” JB looked stunned. He frowned. “I wasn’t expecting you after the things you said earlier.”

“Yeah, well. About that. I’m sorry.” Jinyoung looked down at the frozen ground. “That was just me being a jerk. I thought I should try to tell you a bit more about myself and I’m kind of developing a habit of thinking about you all the time and..” Soft giggling from inside the house stopped his rambling speech. “You.. are not alone, are you?”

“No… I’m not. I’m sorry.” JB had almost panicky expression on his handsome face and he tried very hard to keep the doorway shielded with his body so nothing would get out or in.

“No! I mean, I’m the one who should be sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.. I should just leav-” Once again his argument got interrupted. This time it was because a small girl, about the age of five, peeked thru JB's legs and smiled a wide, one tooth missing, smile up at Jinyoung.

“Daddy.. Who’s that?” She held up her arms and JB picked her up while Jinyoung stared at the pair perplexed.

“Daddy?” He asked tentatively.

“Yes.” JB almost groaned, the panicked look on his face never leaving him. Jinyoung felt stunned but he also felt a bit sorry for the distress JB was feeling. Obviously Jinyoung wasn’t the only one with things left unsaid. “Jinyoung, this is my daughter . Soph, this is my friend Jinyoung.”

“Hello.” Sophie said and smiled brightly. “Do you want to come in? Dad, ask him to come in!” She looked up at her father with big round eyes and her lower lip pushed out so she looked incredibly cute. Jinyoung had to bite down a nervous laughter when he watched the two; JB obviously had no shields against the attacks his daughter was giving him. She sure seemed to know how to pull all the strings to get what she wanted.

“Yes. Ah.. Please, come in. Sorry about the mess.” JB put Sophie back on the floor, let Jinyoung inside and closed the door. While doing so he closed his eyes, inhaled deeply couple of times and prayed the evening wouldn’t end up in total mayhem.

Jinyoung stood warily in the gently lit up hallway surrounded with all the usual signs of being in a household with children; toys, clothes and shoes were scattered all around him in delightful chaos. He quickly glanced around him. At least he didn’t see any wife or girlfriend poking their head to see who was disturbing their evening. Was there even a wife, or girlfriend? If not then what was going on? He turned to JB and raised his eyebrows.

“Tell me fast. Are you married or divorced?” He whispered, while slowly opening his jacket, not sure if he even should stay longer than few minutes. JB shook his head a sad sort of smile playing now on his lips.

“Widowed. Two years ago.” The hurt in the dark eyes was visible. JB brushed his auburn hair away from his eyes and glanced at the happily humming little girl behind Jinyoung.

“Oh.” Jinyoung felt a wrench of sympathy in his heart. He removed his jacket and sighed. “I’m sorry..” Losing someone you shared your life with must have been a terrible experience. And to have a child going thru that as well? Jinyoung couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it had been for both of them.

“Jinyoung.” JB said suddenly smiling widely, hiding away his pain. “Are you by any chance at all into hot chocolate?”

Having a cup of steaming hot chocolate had not been what Jinyoung had had in mind when he had decided to come and visit JB, but he wasn’t complaining. Watching the father and daughter communicating was so endearing it tugged on some feelings inside him Jinyoung didn’t even realize he’d ever had.

JB was a good father, it was obvious, even if he let Sophie get away with things when she was flashing those puppy eyes of hers from time to time. Jinyoung smiled into his cup to hide his amusement. And JB looked so good it was hard to keep his hands away from touching him. He had a navy blue sweater that went absolutely perfect with his red tinted hair and his creamy skin. His legs looked amazing in the faded light blue jeans as they hung from the narrow hips. Jinyoung had to slap himself mentally couple of times, just to stop himself, before he would lean in and kiss JB right in front of his daughter.

“I have a tent in my room. Do you want to see it?” Sophie said after she had finished the cocoa and smiled widely with the brown liquid smudging the edges of her little rosy mouth. It was hard to resist an invitation like that.

“No, no.. Sophie. Jinyoung is definitely not going to crawl into your tent.” JB tried to stop his energetic daughter but with very little success. She was already climbing down from the chair and had taken Jinyoung by his hand, much to his surprise, and was egging him to come along with her. Jinyoung glanced at JB with his eyebrows high.

“So sure of that, are you?” He snorted softly. He may be a bit out of his comfort zone with kids, but who could honestly say no to little girls and tents build from blankets and pillows? He’d show JB he had absolutely nothing against crawling into such thing.

The tent was actually pretty damn cool. Last time he’d seen or been in one had been when he was very young, probably the same age as Sophie was now. The sheets were hung from ceiling and flowed down onto the backs of chairs, creating the walls for the tent. Inside there were tens of different sized and different shaped paper stars hung from the roof. The floor was filled with pillows and blankets so it created a lovely nest to snuggle into. Sophie dragged Jinyoung by his hand inside.

“Lay here.” She was demanding and pointing a place next to her.

“Sophie.. Stop being so bossy.” JB warned her half-heartedly, but crawled into the tent as well. Jinyoung chuckled, obeying Sophie’s request and laid himself down. JB flopped next to him, their arms touching. A small electrifying spasm ran through Jinyoung’s arm at the touch.

“I wish I had a hiding place like this.”

“It has its advantages.” JB smiled turning his head a little so he could look at Jinyoung who was gazing up and all the stars.

“Jinyoung?” Sophie inched a bit closer to him and he turned his head to look at the small face now really close to his. “You smell really nice. I want to wear perfumes too. But daddy says I can’t use perfume because I’m too small.” Jinyoung let out a huff of laughter at the comment, his eyes crinkling in the process.

“That’s because you smell good already.” JB said sternly, but he was still smiling. He was probably right. Jinyoung had very little experience with small children, but he guessed little girls tended to smell better than little boys of same age. “So do you, by the way.” Jinyoung blushed but remained quiet. He was quite sure it wouldn’t be right to talk about things in Sophie’s presence. JB moved his body enough to have his fingers close for him to entwine their fingers together loosely. It was such a small gesture, but it sent Jinyoung’s heart running wild and his body temperature rising alarmingly fast.

After Sophie fell asleep JB led Jinyoung up to his study and closed the door behind him. The house was quiet, warm and like an alternate universe to someone like Jinyoung, whose life was always filled with noises, people and busy timetables. He stood quietly by the window gazing out onto the dark back yard. A pair of arms suddenly sneaking around his waist startled him from his thoughts. He smiled and leaned into JB who was hiding his face to Jinyoung’s hair.

“I’m glad she liked you.” JB muttered into the black strands, tightening his hold of Jinyoung.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jinyoung asked quietly.

“How could I?” JB sighed. “It’s easier to pretend to be a normal, single guy and not the single parent with the emotional burden of a dead wife hanging over him. I know it’s confusing because I was the one who asked you out.” He loosened his hold and made Jinyoung turn around and face him. JB looked straight into his eyes. Jinyoung could see the two small dots above JB’s eye, he was so close. “I am full-time parent. I have issues. I’m new at being infatuated with a guy and to top that; you live in a different country. I thought it would be hard to introduce her to someone I’m most likely never going to see again.”

“I guess that’s a fair point for not telling me.” Jinyoung understood the reasons behind JB’s decision but it still hurt a bit that he had left out something this big. “I guess we are worlds apart. You, a book editor in London. Me, a producer in L.A. It was fun while it lasted.” He was feeling sad how things were about to come to an end. Jinyoung raised his hands to cup JB’s face and leaned forward to kiss the full lips softly. He didn’t want to talk about anything else. He understood with perfect clarity things would not work between them. So he did what he thought was the only thing left to do; kiss the man he had gotten so attached to, as gently as he could, to convey how much he regretted the turn of things.

That night, Jinyoung felt the weight of the world on his shoulders heavier than he had felt ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be entirely markson. Already written but I'm fine-tuning it a bit still. Thank you for your patience~ And dont worry.. JJP wont stay sad for very long ;)
> 
> Some of you might notice I tried to get away from the original dialogue (finally.. :'D).. I'm still going to use most of the movie settings just because i can and i want to XD


	4. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, heads up.. This is going to be a roller coaster. Much feelings. I do hope it will... be enough to explain WHY things can happen and all that jazz... Life isn't always so black and white.
> 
> Just Mark and Jackson in this chapter. Enjoy.

**Los Angeles**

Mark was staring out of the window and down to his swimming pool area which was, as usual, empty. His house was usually really quiet, because he lived alone, but when Bambam was around there was always music, laughter and people whom Mark rarely knew at all. Mark didn’t really mind any of that, he was happy when there was life around him. But he enjoyed his peace and quiet, just like anyone else did. Perhaps a little bit more than your average Joe, that he had to admit. 

But today, as much as he adored his serene surroundings, he felt restless in a way he couldn’t identify; he was fidgety, unfocused and giddy at the same time. He had slept well, he was healthy and there was no immediate stress in the horizon as he had finished the choreography they had ordered from him. So why was he feeling like this? Mark chewed on his lips thoughtfully. Maybe he just missed Bambam and the lively atmosphere. Or maybe he was just in need of any company.

Bambam had been gone almost a week by now and Mark had received a few on location-taken selfies from him, but that had been the extent of their communication so far. It wasn’t anything too unusual; they spoke little even when they were in the same room together. Mark was bad at talking about what he was thinking and Bambam was.. Well, he was talkative when he was in the mood. Mark guessed Bambam was busy with the shoot and too tired to get more in touch. He was happy Bambam was getting work, but he did miss the little idiot sometimes, even though he was fine being on his own.

Mark thought about the relationship they were in. It was, to be blunt, very platonic so far; neither of them had expressed the need for anything more intimate, just a few sweet kisses here and there and spending a lot of time together. It was either just the two of them or, more likely, a crowd of people. It was simply about enjoying the company and calling someone with cute names. Mark had always been more on the thoughtful side in his relationships and rarely had felt any sort of powerful lust or need for anyone. Sure, he was a man with needs, but he was good at keeping those needs in order. It didn’t feel natural for him to display all his emotions all that freely. Maybe he was slightly on the frigid side. Or maybe he hadn’t just met that someone who could turn on the hidden passion in him. Who knows.

Sometimes it crossed his mind that their relationship was weird. They hardly could be described as two people deeply in love or anything of that sort. Mark did like, maybe on some level even love, Bambam a lot, but it was too early to be called something so serious. He was cautious to let himself fall too deep and too soon, because he had been hurt in the past. Those past things didn’t bother him much these days; they just had made Mark wary and careful in his actions. He wasn’t all that timid, but he felt awkward when he was forced to talk about anything emotional. Bambam had been like a ray of sunshine when they had met and Mark was drawn to his laughter like a moth to a flame. He had just let this relationship happen, because it had been easy to go with the flow and because he liked the way Bambam made him feel.

They had met the first times when Bambam had attended couple of Mark’s courses. They had begun talking after the classes, and the talks had turned to having coffee together, then long dinners and eventually someone had asked if they were going out and it had felt right to say yes to that. He really liked Bambam, but sometimes, when a weak moment caught up with him, Mark pondered if a relationship was supposed to have more than what they had at this early stage. But then he thought about the silly grin on Bambam’s face and he felt a wave of affection towards his young partner. Things would progress if they were meant to. If not… Mark shook his head, discarding the thought quickly. He had no real answer to that situation.

Mark sighed at his thoughts and turned to the room, examining everything in it; the chairs, the paintings, the random decorative things placed here and there. His eyes halted at the white roses on the table. The soft luminous petals somehow reminded him suddenly of Jackson. The pale hair, the laughter and the twinkling brown eyes, the wide sunny smile. Mark tilted his head and frowned. How could’ve he forgotten he had promised to call Jackson? A promise was a promise and he was definitely in need of something to do. And calling Jackson wasn’t going to turn his day any worse, the opposite most likely.

Mark fished his phone from his pocket. 

_“Jack- No, don’t go there! Shush! Ah, hello-Hello_?” Jackson’s voice was slightly irate when he picked up. He seemed to be in some kind of a distress and Mark could hear him moving around.

“It’s Mark. Is this a bad time?” Mark knelt on the floor leaning his arms to the table and fiddled with the rose petals idly, slightly amused.

 _“No, not at all!”_ Jackson sounded relieved the moment he heard Mark’s voice _. “I’m just babysitting for Coco, you know, Youngjae’s dog, and this little missy is giving me somewhat of a hard time here.”_ Mark suppressed a snort of laughter. It wouldn’t be right to tease a man with such huge problems.

“Well, would you mind some company? I could try to ease your suffering.” Mark tried to sound calm and normal, but he was on the verge of bursting out in laughter because the mental images he was having about Jackson in distress, with the small dog, were too hilarious.

 _“You have no idea.. You’re an angel. Please come and save me! I’m getting desperate here.”_ Somehow hearing Jackson calling Mark an angel caused him to feel elated.

“I’ll be there in 30mins.” Mark smiled wider than he had smiled since he had left Jackson the last time they met. He bounced up from the floor and hurried to get dressed. Of course Mark didn’t realize how happy and wide his smile was, and lucky for him, no one was there to witness it.

~

When Mark arrived at Jinyoung’s place Jackson was greeting him on the door, the small white fluffy dog in his arms. Mark was gracious enough to free his companion from the whining burden immediately. He didn’t mind at all; the dog was tiny, poofy and it snuggled up to him the moment he sat down with her in his lap. How could anyone resist a creature like her? Jackson had just glanced at them and moaned something about Mark being a dog whisperer or something since Coco had definitely not been that calm when he had been alone with her. Mark just smiled, scratched the drooping ears, tremendously enjoying the warmth the dog emanated.

They settled down to watch movies together, talking idly about random things. Coco hopped off from Mark’s lap at some point and ventured somewhere, leaving them alone slouching on the couch. It was easy, being with Jackson, even if they didn’t know each other that well. There was something incredibly contagious about Jackson’s personality; though he was prone to get really serious and a bit gloomy on some subjects, most of the time he was happy, very talkative and overall excited sort of guy. Mark liked the way Jackson’s eyes lit up when he was talking about various things he liked, his family for example; clearly they meant the world to him. Mark talked about his own family and how badly he adored his nieces. He had never been one to want a family of his own, but he didn’t exclude the possibility completely. Though he couldn’t really imagine Bambam as a father figure; Bambam was more like the cute and cuddly big brother type. When Mark said this out loud Jackson just smiled wistfully and said something about once having wanted to have kids of his own, but that he’d given up on those dreams a long time ago.

Jackson had made a lot of comments like that and it had given Mark the general idea that there was something really hurtful behind it all. He didn’t want to pry and Jackson didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Not yet at least. Mark would wait, he was patient and he had time to spare right now. Though, he knew the time he had with Jackson was limited; Jackson would leave L.A. next week and their fast encounter and friendship would probably end there. It made Mark surprisingly sad to think they would part so soon. He wasn’t prone to get attached to new people this quickly, but Jackson was somehow special.

“Jackson?” Mark turned his head to look at the blond next to him. Jackson’s eyes were half closed and his lips slightly parted. He looked so endearing Mark wanted to ruffle his hair and squeeze him tight. “What are you doing tomorrow?” The idea had just popped up in his head and he felt almost giddy thinking the possibility of Jackson agreeing to it.

“Hm?” Jackson hummed but didn’t turn to look at Mark. He yawned widely and closed his eyes completely. “I dunno. Nothing I guess. I mean, I have Coco here because Youngjae won’t be back until Boxing Day, but other than that there’s nothing to do. Why?” Jackson finally turned his full attention on Mark, eyes open and keen. The shape of Jackson’s eyes was amazing; round, huge and lined with dark lashes. Mark wondered idly how they would look when examined really close.

“Since I have nothing to do, I thought I could give you one of those private lessons I promised? Maybe some shopping and dinner later?” Mark’s heart was thumping so loud he feared Jackson could hear it. Why did it matter so much if Jackson would agree to hang out with him or not? Maybe he was just so overwhelmed with happiness because he had, for once, met a kindred spirit.

“Sounds good to me. Oh yeah, I almost forgot!” Jackson suddenly beamed at Mark who felt his throat tightening at the sight. “Youngjae said he’s having a concert next week, two days before I leave, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me. I mean.. If you don’t have something else planned.” Jackson fumbled almost nervously with the hem of his green jumper, not meeting Mark’s eyes. Mark smiled fondly.

“I’d love to come. If I have something on that day I’ll reschedule it just for you.” The reason why exactly he would do such a thing remained a mystery to him, but Mark didn’t pay much attention to it. He was just glad he could spend more time together with Jackson.

“Cool! Then I won’t mind shopping tomorrow. I need something decent, because it’s not ok to attend a piano concert in anything I have with me.” Jackson said a bit sheepishly.

“Don’t worry, once I’m done with you, you’ll lure in half the guys in town!” Mark grinned wickedly at the horrified expression spreading onto Jackson’s face.

~

The next day dawned bright and sunny. Mark was feeling tingly all over the moment he opened his eyes. He got up earlier than he usually would have on his days off. He paid particular attention to what he was going to wear; would it look casual but cool. Mark had some trouble with his hair; he wanted to do _something_ with it, but he didn’t have the faintest idea what. This in itself was unusual as his clothes were usually something convenient he threw on, and appearance didn’t interest him that much to begin with. But today.. Today he would take Jackson to his studio and teach him some moves; the studio was closed anyway because of the holidays, so no one would bother them there. After that shopping and probably dinner. Mark felt almost like dancing.

Mark picked Jackson up from Jinyoung’s house as promised. He had ended up putting on a white sleeveless hoodie, he _knew_ it complimented his complexion, and black jeans ripped from knees and a pair of sneakers, his hair half hidden under a black beanie. Casual but cool, definitely. Jackson however.. He looked stunning and sexy in a simple black t-shirt and black jeans, the blond hair untouched and soft, falling all over the smiling features.

“Someone looks smart today.” Mark half smiled to Jackson and gave him a sideways glance while driving.

“Really? I just threw something on, honestly. I didn’t bring anything too awesome with me, so I can’t stun you with my sense on fashion.” Jackson grinned and brushed his fingers thru his hair, pushing it back. He did it a lot, Mark had noticed. He noticed a lot of things Jackson did, but Mark brushed that aside just thinking it as natural attraction to someone new and exciting.

“Well, I’m not that fashionable either. Bambam is the one to run in clothing stores all the time, I just tag along.” Mark laughed, driving the car into a parking lot and killing the engine.

“I wouldn’t say that. You look pretty damn smashing right now.” Jackson looked away, but Mark managed to see a hint of a blush on his cheeks. He hid the giggle, that was about to escape his mouth, into a cough.

Mark led them up the stairs where the entrance to the studio was and let Jackson in. The hallway was echoing, ghostly and smelled like it had been cleaned and washed just moments ago; Mark was very particular about keeping the place as pleasant as possible for everyone. Sweat, blood and the, not so unusual, tears did get a bit stinky sometimes. Mark walked past the darkened offices, there was nothing there anyway, and pushed the glass doors that led into a huge practice room open. Two walls were covered with mirrors, one was a huge window from floor to roof and the last made out of glass where the doors were. Mark flicked the lights on. The artificial light combined with the sunlight pouring in from the huge window gave the room an impression of being airy, clean and like it was located in another universe. _This_ was Mark’s world and he loved it the most.

“So cool.” Jackson was standing in the middle of the room, his eyes drinking in everything around him. His lone, low voice echoed in the empty space. Mark examined Jackson and then frowned. Damn.

“I just realized I forgot to tell you to bring a set of stretchy clothes with you.” Mark said, pursing his lips. “I’m sure I have some of mine in the office, if you want to borrow them. And I do suggest that because I won’t let you go easy today.” He winked at Jackson who raised his eyebrows at that.

“So, basically you’re a sadist, is that what you’re trying to say?” Jackson joked lightly, but the anticipation was visible on his face and he had obvious trouble keeping his grin from spreading wide.

“Maybe.” Mark smirked and left to check his office for spare clothes.

When he returned, having found a pair of sweat pants and a tank top, Mark had changed his own attire. Going out to town in sweaty clothes wasn’t what he called very elegant or pleasant. Mark glanced around and found Jackson leaning to the window and looking out over the streets and houses. Mark paused at the door. He examined Jackson, trying to be calm; it was kind of hard when the happy feeling kept bubbling up constantly. Jackson looked so ethereal standing like that in half shadow. The light was illuminating his face from his nose down and left his eyes shadowed, dark and mysterious; like he was a radiant creature from another universe. Mark shook his head, trying to shake off the strange feeling. He coughed to announce his return and Jackson jerked, surprised, looking back at Mark walking closer to him.

“Let’s see if these fit. You can go and change in the dressing room, if you mind me being here.” Mark tossed the garments to Jackson.

“I don’t mind.” Jackson shrugged and pulled off his shirt like it was nothing. Mark stared. What exactly had he been expecting, he didn’t really know. But certainly not this; well muscled arms, tight chest and impeccable lines of abs drew out the figure of Jackson’s upper body. Mark had to admit Jackson was even more attractive when he was exposed like this. He tried to discard the appreciative thoughts from his head, but then Jackson took off his jeans and all sanity flew from Mark’s head for few blissful minutes. The obviously well trained body that stood in front of Mark’s eyes was causing his mouth to dry and his heart to pound faster. He had never felt a desire like this towards someone. He actually _wanted_ to touch Jackson.

 _I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. I am not checking out another guy. I’m not._ Mark looked away when Jackson had to bend to get the pants on. He should pick some music instead of looking at Jackson’s ass. Music. Yes. Now. 

“You really are in shape, I see.” Mark called out to Jackson but not daring to look behind him. He had been sure Jackson was in good shape even when he was fully clothed, but to see this? Mark wasn’t prepared to have his heart beating so fast it made his head spin.

“I used to fence professionally. I quit years ago, but I try to keep fit.” Jackson’s nonchalant reply was muffled, he was probably pulling the tank top over his head.

“You certainly have managed that.” Mark mumbled. “I.. uh. I thought I’d teach you some basic hip hop.” Mark fumbled with his Ipod and the cord attaching it to the speakers.

“Ok. Ready when you are.” Jackson’s voice came a lot closer than Mark had anticipated and he turned his head, startled, to see the other standing right behind him. Jackson’s innocent, wide smile was mesmerizing. With all his might Mark pushed the images of Jackson’s naked skin out of his head and concentrated on what he had planned to do with his guest in the first place.

The practice turned out to be less awkward than Mark feared it would be. Jackson seemed to be so enthralled with learning how to do the most basic moves he didn’t even pay any attention to the flush over Mark’s cheeks or his wandering gaze. After the worst feelings started to disappear Mark found he was able to enjoy the easy flow of Jackson’s company and join in his laughter. He thought that, in the end, he was just a human being and everyone was allowed to appreciate beauty when they stumbled across it. With that thought Mark managed to forgive himself and his feeling of guilt and regret finally vanished.

Jackson turned out to be an excellent student; he was quick to pick up the tricks and really listened what he was told to. Mark wished all his students were more like Jackson but, well.. You can’t have it all. An hour and a half later, and after Mark had shown Jackson few of the tricking moves, Jackson was ready to move to L.A. and take on full courses with Mark. He seemed determined to extend his knowledge on dancing. A bit too extravagant to announce to move to another country just for that, but it was fun to see someone so hyped up.

After they finished they were sweaty, out of breath, but both of them grinning widely. Mark was pleased that Jackson was having fun and it made him feel elated and joyful as well. When they went to get cleaned up Mark made a point of staying away from Jackson when the other was taking off his clothes. He didn’t want to repeat his gawking even if he had managed make peace with his conscience. It had been purely platonic admiration, or so Mark adamantly told himself. Besides, he didn’t even know Jackson well enough to have any _real_ feelings, right?

They ate a quick lunch before hitting the stores. Shopping with someone as unenthusiastic as he was about clothes was a new experience for Mark. Jackson did have preferences, sure, but he wasn’t hoarding piles of clothes in his arms and trying them on like some other people Mark knew did. They'd pick a store at random and snort with laughter whilst trying on something absolutely outrageous, just for shits and giggles.

Mark had no pressing need to buy new clothes, but he ended up getting himself a rather daring red suit jacket and pants. He wasn’t sure why he bought them, but the way Jackson was ogling at Mark, when he came out of the changing room with the suit on, might have had _some_ part in his final decision. Jackson ended up buying just a plain black suit jacket and a pair of new jeans, which, in Mark’s opinion, looked so damn good on Jackson.

They were just browsing thru the racks of shirts when Mark’s eye caught something familiar outside the store window. He looked up and his heart seemed to stop. Then he frowned. Mark wasn’t sure he wanted to see what he was seeing. He groaned, the vision before his eyes making him slightly nauseated. It was like a wet cloth slapped to his face.

“Can’t be real…” Mark huffed, storming out of the shop and hurrying after the two people he had spotted and who were making him feel like someone had punched all the air out of him. Jackson stood puzzled and alone in the middle of the shop, but when he followed Mark with his eyes he realized the situation. “Bambam? What are you doing here?” Mark called after his supposed boyfriend who was happily walking so tightly side by side with another tall and handsome young man it was hard not to get the wrong idea. If it even was wrong.

“Mark?” Bambam was clearly stricken to find Mark glaring at him and his obvious misbehavior. It seemed Bambam was at loss for words. He just kept staring at Mark who stood there arms crossed and eyes shooting daggers. Then Bambam sighed deeply, closed his eyes for a while before looking Mark straight in the eye. “I’m sorry you saw me like this. I didn’t mean this to happen but.. I’ve been meaning to talk with you.” Mark felt himself freezing on the spot. Was this really happening like this, right here and now? “You know there was very little more than friendship between us..” The words sank into Mark’s mind like a knife. It was like his past was repeating itself. “So.. What I’m trying to say is.. that.. it is over between us. Whatever there even was. I.. I’m sorry Mark. I’m so sorry, but I can’t like you like a boyfriend.”

~

“Why must I always delude myself like this?” Mark sighed, sinking onto the couch back at Jinyoung’s place. He kept frowning, the images of past two months flashing before his eyes like a film. He kept going thru the whole ordeal; had he just been blind or had there been clear signs as to why this had happened?

“No one can predict the outcome, honestly. There’s no way to know for sure.” Jackson tried to sound consoling, but there wasn’t much anyone could say to make Mark feel better about the situation.

“I know, but maybe I should’ve seen it coming. You know, I’ve been thinking the whole time I don’t know what he sees in me, but I guess this just proves it, and it’s definitely not the first time; I’m not someone you can take seriously. I’m not good boyfriend material because I’m too slow to show any affection. What the hell is wrong with me?” Mark sighed pressing his both palms over his face and tried to steady his breathing. He was still slightly shocked to find out Bambam had been befriending this, whatever his name was, Yugyeom or something, a while now. What had Bambam said? That he was sorry, but for him Mark was more like a brother than someone he could get romantic with. Why couldn’t have Mark seen the signs?

“Stop that. There’s nothing wrong with you. Mark, listen.” Jackson took a deep breath, like he was steadying himself. “You just didn’t want to see the truth, it’s so simple. He was charming, cute and you clicked on some levels. You let all the signs slip thru your fingers because you wanted to believe you had something more between you, not just friendship. Because it felt good to be with him.”

“I…” Mark grunted. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say anymore. He knew Jackson was right, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. The feeling of being insufficient and useless kept surfacing and Mark felt like choking. It wasn’t just the fact he had liked Bambam, but it was also the old feeling of being just brushed aside that made his guts twist unpleasantly. “I’m sorry.. I don’t want to ruin your Christmas Eve with my problems.” Mark made a move like he was about to get up from the couch and leave, but Jackson made a rejecting motion with his hand and shook his head.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. Stay and keep me company. Let’s order some food and drink to our sorrows.” Jackson gave Mark a faint smile. “Please?”

“Sure.” Mark grumbled.

“Mark..” Jackson sat down next to Mark but didn’t look at him. He leaned his elbows to his knees, his head hanging low, his eyes closed. “I know it’s a cliché to say I know how you feel. But I really _know_ how you feel.” Jackson buried his hands in his hair, massaging his scalp. “I’ve been in love with this one guy, back in England, for years now. We dated, all was somewhat fine, but then I found out he was cheating on me with a girl. I was so furious back then and naturally we broke up. But then things got really fucked up; he wanted to keep seeing me, kissing me, holding me.. All the while he was still going out with that girl. And I let him. Why? Because I was so in love with him I let all these things happen, even when I knew there was no real love between us.” Jackson rubbed his eyes, tired. “What I’m trying to say, is that I can understand the feeling of being small and insignificant. Like you have no place in this world and you hurt so bad every single day because of the shit going on in your life. No matter how many promises you make to change, you still go home every night and go over the things in your head. What you said, what he said, what you misinterpreted. Sometimes you convince yourself that the idiot will come round and turn up on your door with an apology.” Jackson sighed pausing for a while. “Eventually you get fed up. You leave the mess behind and go somewhere else and meet people who make you feel good about yourself and life again. You start to heal and feel whole. And all that shit on your shoulders will begin to ease.”

Mark wasn’t able to say anything after a long speech like that. Now he understood why Jackson could get so gloomy at times. Understood why he was staring out into horizon lost in his thoughts. And Mark felt a pang of guilt for pouring over his own problems to Jackson when he was in no condition to take in anything of that sort.

“So, that’s why you came here?” Mark turned his whole body sideways on the couch and looked at Jackson who was hiding his face in his hands.

“Yeah.” Jackson’s answer was muffled, choked. He sounded like he was fighting back tears.

“I can’t even begin to guess how hellish it must have been for you.” Mark was feeling guilty, but more than that, he felt angry for Jackson. How could anyone be so cruel as to goad someone as precious as Jackson on for so long? At least Bambam had been straightforward about things. Mark would be ok, because it had really been just two months of hanging out with someone. His feeling of hurt and rejection would disappear, and it would do it faster than it was probably appropriate. But Jackson.. Mark bit his lip as he examined the given up form of this sweet man. What Mark really wanted to do now, was to comfort Jackson. His protective instincts were taking over his senses.

“You know the asshole still called after me.” Jackson growled, straightening his back. He glanced at Mark and sighed. “Said he _needs me_.” He slumped backwards, his body heavy and his eyes closed. Mark felt a wave of compassion. “What a fucking joke.”

“I kind of want to meet this guy, to kick his face a few times, if nothing else.” Mark grit his teeth, frowning. He definitely would get violent if he’d ever get the opportunity. Mark leaned closer to Jackson and carefully touched the blond hair, stroking the soft strands away from Jackson’s eyes. Jackson looked so vulnerable and lost right now; it was causing Mark’s heart to melt at the sight of him. The warm feelings towards Jackson were trying to push through and Mark could _feel_ his resolution fading.

“If you ever get the chance, please go ahead and do that. And I’ll be there to take a video of it.” Jackson grunted. His eyes were still closed, allowing Mark to watch his face and to keep on caressing Jackson’s hair. Even if Mark’s own bad mood and being rejected were still fresh in his mind, he was thinking about those surprisingly little at the moment; the need to cheer Jackson up was more insisting and prominent than his own misery was.

“I’ll keep that in mind. But seriously.. It’s Christmas and we’re both better than the fucked up relationships make us. At least I want to believe so.” The blond strands were like silk between his fingers. “I don’t want to leave you feeling like that.” Mark smiled gently. He certainly meant what he was saying. The thoughts of his failed relationship seemed to sail far, far away from him as he watched the blond man next to him fighting his inner demons.

The urge to do something grew too much for Mark to bear and before he could stop himself, Mark had etched so close to Jackson he was almost half on top of him. His nose brushed against the tip of Jackson’s nose; Jackson smelled of something strong and manly, the fragrance going straight up to Mark’s head. He hovered just few seconds above Jackson’s face before Mark leaned down and pressed his lips softly against Jackson’s mouth. He kissed the lips cautiously; they were almost hot to touch, the skin soft and dry. Mark could hear the surprised intake on air, but Jackson didn’t protest in any way, instead he seemed to relax. Mark withdrew himself after few moments and looked down at Jackson. He could see the line of dark eyelashes, the movement of Jackson’s eyes under the lids.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have..” Mark murmured, but he didn’t back away. He could feel Jackson’s breath on his face. It was almost intoxicating to inhale the essence of Jackson inside his lungs like this. He licked his lips nervously.

Jackson opened his eyes, the brown depths questioning but unafraid of anything. Like he knew Mark would do nothing to hurt him, not now or ever. Then Jackson melt into a small smile that barely lifted the corners of his mouth, raised one hand and placed it behind Mark’s head.

“It’s ok.” Jackson’s voice so low it was barely audible. Mark thought his heart would break from his chest soon. He was nearly trembling, the sudden anticipation shuddering him. The weight of Jackson’s hand grew heavier on his neck. He allowed himself to be pulled back down and their lips met again. Mark smiled into the kiss. The touch calmed him down instantly and he felt relieved for some reason. He wrapped one hand around Jackson’s waist and pulled him closer so that they were both leaning sideways to the couch. Jackson complied and adjusted his angle, parting his lips in the process.

Mark could feel something twisting inside him. He was warm and cold at the same time, he was hesitant but hasty. Jackson’s fingers found their way under Mark’s hoodie and Mark felt a sudden surge of excitement when the tips traveled over his bare skin. He detached himself from the soft lips and leaned back just enough to look at his companion’s face. Jackson’s eyes fluttered open. Mark swallowed hard. He thought he had wanted to do _something_ because he wanted to ease Jackson’s pain, and had ended up kissing him, but now.. Now Mark didn’t know _why_ he wanted to continue. And just few hours after being dumped so unceremoniously. Maybe it was because he felt so in sync with Jackson right now he would choke if he didn’t do what his instincts told him to do. Maybe it was something else. Mark didn’t know. And right now, he didn’t even care all that much. His heart was pumping blood so fast to every part of his body, he was sure he was bright red.

Jackson didn’t say a word. He seemed to understand what Mark was after. For few moments they sat quietly there, leaning to the couch and simply looking at each other. Then Jackson raised one hand to touch Mark’s neck; his fingers trailed ever so gently over the skin and down over the fabric of the hoodie, to Mark’s chest. It was like the shirt wasn’t there; Mark could almost feel the fingers caressing his skin. They set him on fire like nothing had ever done before; it was warm, but not all consuming burning, it left his body aching for more in a way that tore your heart gently, but firmly wide open. Mark closed his eyes and let the feelings wash over him, clearing his mind from any other thoughts. The touch was tentative, exploring and it left him completely breathless. Jackson finally fished his hand around Mark’s narrow waist and pulled his body back close to his.

Mark didn’t open his eyes. He wrapped his hand around Jackson the moment they were connected again. The feel of Jackson was warm, comforting and his torso was tough and smooth under his t-shirt. Mark could feel each breath Jackson took when the strong chest expanded. It was intoxicating to be wrapped in Jackson’s embrace and Mark knew he would miss it the moment they would part. Then Jackson’s lips were on his and Mark was swept into the bliss of being kissed slow and deep. In this moment Mark’s existence _mattered_. In this moment Jackson’s existence mattered even more and the connection they had was patching up all the hurt, all the emptiness inside them, and freeing them from the past.

All they did was kiss. But for Mark, some of the sex in his life had never been as intimate as were the kisses he shared with Jackson that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it didn't leave a bad taste. I tried to keep it as logical as possible but I get side-tracked sometimes. 
> 
> I'm kinda dreading your comments..
> 
> Anyway, this is not the whole story yet and I've got cute stuff left up in my sleeve. Posting this has proved to be really hard. I do hope you don't hate it. (and anyone who knows where I borrowed that last sentence gets.. what, cookies? Yeah.)


	5. Happiness

**Los Angeles**

The morning when Jackson woke up and found Mark sleeping soundly next to him, was one of the best ones in his entire life. The warmth and happiness that exploded inside him, when he saw the ashen blond hair scattered on the white pillow, was overwhelming. Jackson could’ve watched Mark sleeping a long time; he was so beautiful. Mark’s lips were slightly parted, his face flawless and he was cuddled up like a cat, one hand reaching towards Jackson. Jackson took that particular hand in his and leaned down to kiss the skin. It was like waking up next to an angel. Jackson almost wanted to hit himself for being so incredibly cheesy, but what could one do, when faced with someone like Mark?

Mark made a small noise that indicated he was about to wake up. Jackson grinned like a fool as the hand he was holding in his twitched and he watched in fascination as their fingers entwined together. Mark was still keeping his eyes closed but his breathing had become shallow. Jackson examined his companion a smile playing on his lips. He was unable to comprehend what exactly had happened yesterday; Mark had broken up his somewhat odd relationship with Bambam, Jackson had told Mark about the pain he carried in his heart and somehow they had ended up kissing and spending the night together. Not that they had gone any further from kissing and cuddling. It had been more intimate than anything Jackson had ever done before and he was slightly puzzled.

Jackson chewed on his bottom lip, his thoughts unfocused. He thought about how much in pain he had been just a week ago. He thought how amazing it was that he was able to feel something warm tickling his insides when he looked at Mark. Something so pure and careful he wanted to hold that feeling between his cupped hands and keep it safe, like it was the most fragile little bird, fallen from its nest. Jackson’s heart was light, which it had not been in years. He thought about Ben and realized it didn’t hurt at all that much anymore. It was such a liberating feeling.

“Hey there.” Mark’s sleepy, slightly gruff, voice called out to Jackson who moved his attention back to the dream-like present. Mark was peering at him with half open eyes and smiling so cutely it wrenched Jackson’s heart wide open. He wanted to laugh, to giggle, to roll down green grassy hills.

“Hi.” Jackson whispered and moved closer to Mark, pulling the half awake man into his embrace. Mark was a very obedient sleeping partner; he snuggled up close immediately, his head resting under Jackson’s chin. Mark placed a small kiss absently on Jackson’s throat and hummed appreciatively.

“I had a dream about you.” Mark mumbled, his breath warm on Jackson’s skin.

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm.” Mark yawned. “Can’t remember the details, but it was a good dream.”

“Well, I guess that’s good, but why have dreams of me when I’m right here?” Jackson chuckled. He didn’t know exactly what it was they were doing here, but he wasn’t really complaining. Mark had been so good to him this entire time and Jackson was sure his heart would break the day he would have to return back home.

“Yeah, reality is much better than dreams.” Mark laughed softly. Jackson hugged the lithe body, pressing his face down to inhale the scent of Mark’s hair. It smelled like hairspray and shampoo, the strands soft and ticklish on Jackson’s face. He closed his eyes, marveling the feeling of Mark’s body under his fingers as he let the tips wander lazily on Mark’s back, over the shirt he was wearing.

“You know it should criminal to be freakishly cute.” Jackson muttered into the ashen strands. His heart was pounding steadily faster by the minute as he held Mark, inhaling his fragrance.

“Am I guilty then?” Mark’s amused giggle was muffled; he was snuggling his face close to Jackson’s throat again. Jackson had the sudden image of a big cream colored cat purring in his lap. He smiled widely.

“You bet you are. I think I need to punish you.”

“I hope it’s a good punishment.” Jackson didn’t even bother replying to that, he just rather simply started to tickle Mark, who, in return, let out a high yelp and squirmed furiously, trying to escape. Jackson had the advantage however. He managed to keep Mark close enough to torment him until he was teary eyed and out of breath. They had ended up changing their position to where Mark was on his back, laying on the bed, and Jackson sitting over Mark’s narrow hips, back hunched, hovering over the smaller frame.

Jackson stared at Mark’s laughing face; the squinting of his eyes, the high cheek bones, the toothy wide smile. The pink lips, arched in cute smile, seemed to be screaming Jackson’s name. How, in the name of any deity in this world, could anyone be so fucking perfect?

Mark was wearing one of Jackson’s t-shirts, it was slightly too big for him and it was tangled up, revealing half of Mark’s one shoulder. The way he was looking up at Jackson turned some knots in his guts. The warmth spreading thru him from just watching this amazing person, who had so unexpectedly popped up into his life, was the reason why he was so exuberant and gleeful right now.

Jackson felt his heart pounding faster. He couldn’t pretend that he was indifferent to the happy sensation making him elated and joyous, not when the cause of it all was so willingly trapped under him and watching Jackson with a twinkle in his eyes. Jackson was almost 100% sure Mark had no idea how seductive he looked most of the time. Too bad it was working it’s magic on him almost effortlessly. Jackson couldn’t help it, and he didn’t even want to; he leaned down and deliberately carefully took Marks lower lip between his lips, pulling it gently. Mark let out a soft breath and closed his eyes. Jackson didn’t even know what he was doing anymore; all he knew was that he couldn’t prevent himself from doing this. He nipped at the plush upper lips with his teeth, careful not to use too much force. Mark let out a trembling huff of breath, a small moan hidden in it. Jackson could feel the heat bubbling dangerously fast in him.

“Jackson..” Marks whisper had taken a turn to a much, much huskier tone and Jackson absolutely loved it. He loved the way Mark looked like he was ready to do anything, even when he probably wasn’t and oh _god_ this was not a good idea. He _had to_ stop.

“Oh, god. I can’t. We can’t.” Jackson groaned, slumping down. He lay heavy on Marks body, the almost freed passion churning inside him, throbbing in his veins. “You're so beautiful, but I can’t. Not like this. Not now.” He wished he wasn’t thinking about Mark like this now. He wanted to savor the beginning of things, if there even was going to be a beginning, and not run head first into anything.

“I know.” Mark wrapped his arms around Jackson’s shoulders and held him tight, cradling him in the safety of his warm embrace. “I’m sorry I can’t control myself.”

“What, you?” Jackson grunted against the fabric of the shirt, stunned. “It’s me who needs to learn how to behave myself..” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence with ‘because I think I like you a bit too much and it’s really hard to keep my hands away from touching you right now’. It would’ve been the biggest mistake in the history of any relationship, to be swept away by the sluggish morning and easy atmosphere. Jackson rolled off of Mark, but remained close. The hug was enough for now.

Jackson could have stayed like that for eternity, being cocooned in the small bubble they had, wrapped around each other, covered with blankets. But, he was only a human and his stomach gave a loud growl, after what seemed like an hour, informing him it was time to get up and make breakfast.

While Mark wandered off to take a shower, Jackson made coffee and cut some fruits for them. He was confused about what he was supposed to feel right now. He felt like he wasn’t allowed to feel any new feelings, not this quickly, but it was growing incredibly hard by the second to push those emotions away. The nagging feeling of wanting something a bit more, was trying to poke its head out and make him do hasty things. Jackson sighed.

And then Mark walked into the kitchen, while Jackson was musing with a cup of coffee in his hands, still wearing Jackson’s t-shirt, accompanied with only a pair of boxers. Jackson mentally pinched himself; it had been hard before, to stop himself from staring at Mark, but now it was just plain torment to stand here, watching him. He was like an angel, cascading down from the heavens to meet the mortals; his ashen hair was damp and hung over his face, his skin looked like it was actually luminous and his eyes bright. And the smile, oh god, _the smile_.. Jackson saw stars every single time Mark was smiling at him like that.

Jackson pushed the surfacing need to gawk at Mark to the back of his mind and just offered Mark a cup instead. But he kept stealing glances at Mark, wondering if was he really ok, considering what had happened yesterday. Not to mention what was Mark thinking and feeling about _Jackson_. He was almost tempted to actually ask about the latter, but hadn’t even begun to gather the courage to do so when the phone rang and startled him out of his reverie. Mark was just trying to fill a whole, very huge, strawberry into his mouth and Jackson couldn’t help but to blush at the sight. He glanced at the phone screen quickly and realized it was the gate.

“Who is it?” Jackson picked up the phone, his eyes still glued on Mark, who was eating the strawberry like it was the most delicious thing in the whole goddamn world. Jackson tried not to burst out laughing; Mark looked both extremely hilarious and absolutely sexy while making small sounds of delight at the taste of the fruit. An unfamiliar voice informed Jackson, at the other end of the call, that there was mail for him and he needed to sign it.“Ok. I’ll open up the gate.” Jackson put the phone down. “There’s some express mail coming in, so I’m going to get the door.” He said to Mark, who waved his hand in response to say he had heard Jackson.

Wondering what kind of delivery he was about to receive, Jackson made his way to the front door and opened it. His mind was still lingering on the conflicted feeling Mark was causing him; he wanted to express himself, but would it really be ok to do so? His thoughts however flew from his mind the second his eyes recognized the familiar brown hair and blue eyes standing right in front of him.

“Ben!” Jackson exclaimed, not really believing his eyes. “What are you doing here?” His heart seemed to clamp shut, the old pain and horror returning. Jackson felt suddenly nauseated and the dark clouds threatened to blur his vision. This could not be happening. He had been doing so well just now, even if he was confused, and now the old nightmare was going to start again.

“I came to deliver you some mail, like I said.” Ben’s answer was cool, relaxed and he took a step closer to Jackson like it was the most natural thing to do. “I missed you, you know.” His voice was dripping honey. That tone used to bring Jackson so many contradictory feelings, all at the same time; happiness, want, dread and misery.. Now he didn’t know what he was feeling. Then a clear, low voice entered Jackson’s brains and something clicked back in its place.

“Baby, who is it?” Jackson almost choked when he heard Mark’s voice coming from behind him. Mark walked straight to Jackson’s side, slipping his arm around his waist. His hold was firm and strong. Jackson felt enormously relieved when he felt Mark supporting him. Suddenly Ben’s existence didn’t matter anymore; Mark was there next to him and he smelled like shower and coffee, and his presence was like fresh air and sunlight.

“Jackson?” Ben was frowning at the two of them. “What’s going on here?”

“I don’t believe we’ve met before.” Mark said coldly, glaring at the unwanted visitor. “I’m Mark, Jackson’s boyfriend.” Jackson tried to keep his face straight. He guessed Mark was doing this because he had heard Jackson calling out Ben’s name, and had decided to play a neat little game to get rid of the bastard disturbing their perfect morning.

“ _Boyfriend?_ ” Ben snapped, his temper clearly rising. “You’ve been here for one week and you’re telling me you’ve got someone new?” Jackson was starting to get pissed. The incredulous tone Ben had, like Jackson was the lowest of the low, when it was the other way round, was making him grit his teeth painfully hard. Not to mention he absolutely _hated_ the way Ben was looking at Mark. Mark didn’t deserve to be looked at like that.

“Get lost Ben. Who said it’s only been a week between me and Mark. You don’t know _anything_ about me. Go back to your prissy little princess and stay out of my life.” Jackson hissed, wrapping his arm around Mark’s waist. Mark was like a rock that kept him rooted to the Earth, his haven, his salvation at this moment. Jackson’s heart was hammering almost excruciatingly hard from anger and anxiety. He realized, like lightning had struck him just now, that he felt nothing but contempt towards Ben. The feeling of being trapped, in the webs of this miserable excuse of a human being, was finally gone. Jackson was able to breathe free. He directed a sneer at Ben, who was gawking at him now. “You’re _nothing_ to me, Ben. I’m done with you.”

“You heard him. _Worm_.” Mark growled next to Jackson. He released his tight grip on Jackson and stepped closer to Ben who didn’t have time to react fast enough. “This is from me, you piece of shit.” And Mark gave Ben a direct, very accurate and _very_ sharp kick in the stomach. “That’s for hurting someone dear to me.” Then he turned on his bare heels and slammed the door shut right in front of Ben who was doubled on the door steps, groaning in pain and gasping for air.

“Mark..” Jackson managed to whisper, but his words got lost when Mark closed the distance between them and hugged Jackson tightly.

“Are you ok?” Mark asked, his face somewhere on Jackson’s shoulder. “I heard you earlier and I couldn’t just ignore the panic in your voice. So I decided to change the situation a bit. I hope you didn’t mind.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” Jackson sighed, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, trying to calm his racing mind. He felt suddenly incredibly weak and yet, at the same time, so powerful. Like someone had opened million locks inside him and he was free from _everything_. He could very well imagine how his soul was soaring up to the sky; he felt so unrestrained.

“I wanted to.” Mark’s quietly muttered answer gave Jackson butterflies. His mind was grasping on the small signs and he fervently wished he wasn’t going to make a fool of himself. Jackson felt hot when he thought of all the possibilities open to him.

“Did you mean it?” Jackson asked tentatively after a moment of silence.

“What?” Mark was absently stroking the back of Jackson’s head, his fingers tangling in the blond strands.

“That I’m dear to you.” Jackson almost whispered. He had a couple more questions as well, but those could wait. Mark was silent for a long time. Before he answered, he loosened his hold and leaned back to look Jackson straight in the eyes, his hands resting on Jackson’s shoulders. Mark blinked a few times, nervously.

“I.. did.” Mark chewed on his lip. “I don’t know if it’s ok to say something like that, considering what happened yesterday between me and Bambam..” He hesitated before continuing. “But, I like you. I really do.” Mark had that lost look on his face that made Jackson want to put the man in his pocket and keep him safe there.

“I...” Jackson suddenly felt incredibly shy and he felt his cheeks burning. “I kinda like you too..” He was probably suited to play Rudolph in any Christmas play, he was so sure his face was like a red lantern right now. “What I mean is that.. You know.. That I want to get all mushy and romantic with you..” Oh god, why was he confessing something like this, right after he had witnessed Mark kicking the air out of his tormenting ex? Maybe it was _because_ of that.. Who knows. Jackson only knew he was sure that what he just had said was true. 

“I…” Mark certainly was blushing. His eyes kept darting between Jackson’s shoulder and his eyes. “I’d like that.. I really would. But.” He sighed. “Let’s take it slow, ok? I’m still trying to process what went wrong in the previous relationship and I can’t start a new one, even if you are so perfect in every possible way, and I can’t help but to feel so attracted to you both mentally and physically and you’re so extremely gorgeous..” Mark was talking fast, the words stumbling out of his mouth and his eyes wide with confusion. Jackson, though he was as flustered, shy and confused as Mark, pressed one finger on Mark’s lips and then replaced the finger with his mouth. This was one thing he knew was absolutely true; he really liked kissing Mark. And it seemed that Mark had no objections about it either because he returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm.

They didn’t need words. The whole spectrum of feelings was conveyed thru the movement of their lips together and it was enough for now. They would talk and sort everything out. Eventually.

 

**England**

Jinyoung’s Christmas Eve, and the Christmas Day itself, had been rare ones; he’d been alone in the house and had allowed himself the time to just _be_. He had picked up a book, cuddled up in an arm chair with Nora nestling on the blanket he spread over himself. Jinyoung had forgotten all about the world and the peculiar mess he was entangled in. He felt a new and weird sense of peace when there was nothing distracting him; no phone calls, no emails, no people trying to talk to him. The only sounds were the carols from the radio and crackling of the fireplace. He felt at peace with the world and with himself; such an obscure thing to feel, after years of being torn in every possible direction.

For once in his life he was happy about who he was and what he was doing. This, of course, was only if he excluded the whole JB problem from the big picture. Thinking about the red haired, absurdly gorgeous man caused Jinyoung sweet tremors to run all over his body. Though the memory of their last encounter was bittersweet, because they had parted without making any promises of seeing again, he felt the remaining bits of passion very strongly. All those feelings that had so unexpectedly exploded between him and JB were stubbornly lingering inside him. Jinyoung had very deliberately shunned those thoughts away for few days, to give himself some time to calm down. He needed to find his center, his core.

And, he mused on the evening of the 25th while getting ready to crawl in bed, that he might have done just that.

Jinyoung didn’t do any deep soul searching while he was cocooned inside his perfect solitude, but he certainly felt like he had been on a yoga retreat for a week. He felt emotionally calm, focused and strong; like there was nothing that could shake him off of his feet. He was sure he could encounter JB when the time came to face the harsh reality. He would be ready to say either goodbye or be ready to take a leap of faith in the matters of heart. Be it either way, this thing needed to have a conclusion of any sort.

His return back home was looming ahead and he hadn’t heard from JB in two whole days. Even now, when he was feeling good, he was edgy whenever he was thinking that he was probably wasting time by not seeing JB. But, he knew JB had responsibilities, which didn’t include Jinyoung at all. The little girl would always, _always_ , come first; there was no doubt about that. Was he jealous about it? Of course not. Had the situation been any easier from JB’s part, things might have gone a bit differently, but the situation was what it was, and they would deal with it the best they could.

Jinyoung just had managed to slip his feet under the blanket, when there was a knock on the door. Alarmed, he returned downstairs to open the door. The wide, perhaps a little hesitant, smile of JB greeted him as the cold air rushed in from the open door. Jinyoung just stared at the man he had been thinking pretty much all the time, since his appearance on these same steps for the first time a week ago. The time that had passed seemed much longer, almost like a whole lifetime. His heart obviously had managed to freeze and the expression of utter bewilderment shone miles ahead from his face.

“Can I.. come in?” JB asked cautiously, tilting his head just a little to the side. The effect it had on Jinyoung was almost destructive; his breath caught up in his throat and his mouth went absolutely dry. Jinyoung retreated, allowing JB to step in and close the door behind him. Without further ado, or thinking about much else, Jinyoung hurled himself to JB’s arms and buried his face to the scarf around JB’s neck. Suddenly his heart was racing, his breathing fast and shallow and all the words escaped him for the moment. Had he been able to utter a single word, he wouldn’t have made much sense. He couldn’t believe how much the few days of not seeing each other had affected him; he realized he had missed JB so much during the lonesome hours that now that they were together again, Jinyoung was ready to pick the man up and carry him to the bedroom. JB was here and the familiar arms were around Jinyoung’s waist, pulling them close.

Jinyoung backed away just enough to be able to shower the perfect face with small pecks and kisses. He kissed the cold cheeks, highlighted with adorable shade of pink, the sharp jaw line, the closed eyes, lined with dark lashes, the cold tip of the nose and.. The flawless arc of the perfect lips.

“I couldn’t stay away..” JB mumbled softly, lips moving against Jinyoung’s. Their breath mingled as they rested their foreheads together and inhaled the air between; it was nearly trembling with happiness.

“I’m glad you came.” Jinyoung’s response was just as soft, his feeling of sheer delight inflating him like he was a balloon just waiting to be released up to the sky. “Can you stay?” He definitely wished that. He was not going to let JB go, not now that he was so content of keeping him as close as possible.

“Yeah. Took Sophie to her grandparents’ and tomorrow is free.” JB leaned forward to plant a single kiss on Jinyoung’s lips and smiled. “I don’t have to be anywhere until tomorrow afternoon.” He kissed Jinyoung again, the gesture sweet and tentative.

“Good. I don’t think I could let you go home tonight.” A wide smile tugged the edges of Jinyoung’s mouth. He had been almost drowsy before, but he was unquestionably wide awake now. And he was starting to wish JB had a lot less clothes on him. Jinyoung slid his hands down to JB’s chest and looked straight into the questioning dark eyes before him. He _definitely_ wanted less fabric between them.

“I like the sound of that.” JB smirked, but the expression vanished quickly when Jinyoung started to help him to unbutton the jacket he was wearing. The small kisses changed quite fast to much hungrier and deeper plunges into each other’s mouths. Every move they made turned hastier and irritated when clothes were in their way. Without wasting words JB kicked the shoes off of his feet and shed the jacket, leaving it laying on the floor. He picked Jinyoung up by his waist and carried him up the stairs and straight to the bedroom.

~

The next morning was gray, when they woke up, cuddled in middle of the bed, facing each other and fingers laced loosely together. Jinyoung smiled, even though he was afraid this happiness wouldn’t last very long. The clock was ticking away ruthlessly and taking away the time they could spend together. It always came down to that; time slipping thru his fingers like sand. He detached his hand from the loose grip, reaching out to carefully move few wayward strands of hair away from JB’s closed eyes. How could it be possible to start to feel something like this, after years of being cold and emotionally lost? Was it really so easy, or was this just an illusion, that would shatter when the reality would catch up with him again?

“You know I can almost hear you thinking too much.” JB mumbled quietly from somewhere in between the blanket and pillow. Jinyoung couldn’t help but to stifle a small laughter.

“You can hear me thinking? What am I thinking then?” He relaxed, inching just a bit closer to JB who had opened his eyes and was staring at Jinyoung sleepily, half of his face hidden under the blanket.

“Something along the lines that we’re going to be fucked the moment you leave. And that it sucks so bad it makes you want to stay and live your life forever with me.” Jinyoung laughed out loud this time. He knew JB was kidding, but he couldn’t but to wonder was there some truth behind the carefree words.

“I agree on the first part, but the latter hasn’t yet crossed my mind. Is that what you want?” Jinyoung poked JB’s nose with one finger, pursing his lips. “I don’t think your daughter would approve very much if she suddenly would have two fathers.”

“No.. I guess you’re right. Though, she liked you a lot. Couldn’t get her to shut up all Christmas about how cool you were.” JB smiled and winked at Jinyoung who in return felt his ears burning. He had no idea he had made such an impression. “But you know, seriously speaking, I think we could make something out of this.” JB continued, his tone getting more serious.

“Really? And how exactly would you make this work? You have a daughter and you can’t seriously even consider of taking her with you _every time_ you’d fly to L.A. to see me. I can’t be away too often, because I am the one making all the decisions there. Even if you’d want it, I don’t think I’d ever move to England. And I suppose, as long as Sophie is still a minor, you are not moving anywhere from here.”

“You have a point. But.. I beg to disagree.” JB frowned. “Even if we’d only see a couple of times a year, there are ways to keep in contact and Sophie grows faster than I’d sometimes like her to. And since my own parents live in South Korea we are bound to travel a lot anyway.” Jinyoung was startled and he blinked.

“I didn’t know your family lives there. I thought.. Well, to be honest, I don’t know what I thought.” Then he smiled softly. “My parents live in Korea as well. I moved to America to study when I was a teenager and kind of got rooted there.”

“See? That means we’d be in the same country at least, if we’d manage to fix timetables to suit us both. I’ve only remained here because my late wife was a native and her parents live here. It’s not like I couldn’t practice my profession in Korea, if I decided to move.” It startled Jinyoung to hear JB talking so seriously about this, like he had thought about it a lot already.

“You sly little thing..” Jinyoung snorted, amused. “You just managed to talk yourself into moving out of country, just because you met the awesome me.” An uncharacteristic giggle escaped Jinyoung’s lips and JB winked at him.

“Well, you got the awesome part correct.” JB laughed, moving so that he could press his lips to Jinyoung’s forehead and kiss it gently. “Can’t give you _all_ the credit though; I _have_ thought about moving back to Seoul long before I met you and your incredibly edible little ass.”

“Edible? Good grief you _are_ impossible.” Jinyoung grinned, reaching under the blanket to take a very firm grip on JB’s ass. “Now _this_ is edible, so why don’t you shut your trap for a while and let me enjoy you while I still have the time.” The smile he directed at JB was so impish the other burst out laughing.

Jinyoung crawled on top his companion under the blanket, marveling the absolute heat that JB emanated. The skin was smooth and soft at the same time. JB wasn’t too muscular, but he was very lean and hard; it spoke of regular hours spent on keeping up his stamina. JB wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s slightly smaller frame, reaching up from the pillow to capture the smiling lips into a kiss. The wonderful plummeting feeling nearly evoked an embarrassing moan from Jinyoung’s throat when JB plunged deeper into his mouth like he was about to devour Jinyoung whole.

Things escalated rather fast after that, the gray morning faded into the background, their united bodies moving in harmony thru the dance of ecstasy.

~

After being thoroughly ravaged one glorious night, Jinyoung felt like his life could end right now and he would embrace the sweet nothingness with open arms; he was so completely _satisfied_. It was amazing how different it was to join your body with someone who knew to look for all the sweetest spots around his body. Comparing sex with JB to the other times Jinyoung had done it, was like comparing cats and dogs. With this man right here, sitting across him in the kitchen, the auburn hair tousled and pointing in different directions, Jinyoung felt more passion than he had ever felt. He could spend hours just inhaling JB’s scent, straight from his skin.

The man in question was looking at Jinyoung over the table and he had that dreamy look upon his face, the kind that spoke in volumes of affection and mutual attraction. It was hard not to smile when the emotions were so plain in view. Lucky for them, there was no one around to see them; the sweet atmosphere might have made others vomit.

“You know.. I realized I don’t think I really _need_ to be back home until the new year has begun.” Jinyoung had thought about this when he had been awake and watching the sleeping form next to him. It was really rather simple; he was the master of his own life and timetables, so why not take some more liberties and leave only when it was absolutely necessary?

“Oh?” JB’s hazy look of adoring changed into one of utmost curiosity. “Are you considering staying?” The way he asked it indicated that he was holding in the obvious happiness. Jinyoung really wanted to tease him, but he had no heart to do so, not when he was so joyous himself.

“Well, I thought it was my turn to ask you out..” Jinyoung arched one eyebrow and then winked. “So, would you be so kind and be my date for the New Years?”

“You don’t even have to ask.” JB reached over the table and snatched Jinyoung’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. “I’d love to.”

“But, because Jackson will be returning home before that I am obliged to take up a room in some hotel…” He didn’t manage to finish before JB was already shaking his head.

“Nonsense. You’ll stay with me and Sophie. And don’t even try to argue about it. If you’re worried about Sophie, it’s fine. She can always go to her grandparents’.” JB was grinning so widely he looked like he had just won in lottery or something as silly.

He watched JB to leave back home few hours later. It was rather hard to let him go, but reality called, as usual. Jinyoung wondered if he could actually pull this whole thing thru; the long-distance, the weeks and months of not seeing each other, except on computer screens. The whole idea was scary, but yet thrilling at the same time. He’d never really wanted to put in _this_ much effort in his past relationships.

He had no idea what the future would bring, but he would take it as it came.

~

Later in the evening, when Jinyoung was just feeding Nora, the phone rang and to his surprise it was Jackson who was calling to him.

 _“I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas. How is it going in there? And by the way, I love your place.”_ This was the first time they spoke over the phone, all they had done so far had been emailing. Jinyoung hadn’t thought that Jackson would have such a low and pleasant voice. He liked him even more now that he could put something more tangible to the image he had of Jackson.

“I’m glad you like it.” Jinyoung smiled. “Happy holidays for you too. It’s been interesting on this end, believe me.” He laughed softly. “You? Anything worth mentioning, other than that you’re enjoying the living quarters?”

 _“I met one of your neighbors. Cute guy, not my type though. Been hanging out with him. He’s got an amazing voice. Oh, and I met Mark..”_ Jackson seemed to gain energy just by mentioning Mark’s name. _“He’s pretty incredible. He.. Uh.”_ Jackson halted for a moment before he continued. _“He broke up with his boyfriend, though I don’t think they were_ really _dating in the sense we think about dating. Anyway, we kinda ended up hanging out a lot more after that..”_ Jackson’s tone left very little to imagine and Jinyoung wasn’t an idiot. He was pretty sure Jackson was blushing at the other end. Jinyoung suppressed the laughter that was about to burst out.

“Never met his boyfriend, though he talked about him sometimes. Mark is one of kind person so don’t hurt him.” Jinyoung felt a bit protective about his friend, even if Mark was older than he was. They had been friends for so long it was a natural reaction from him. “I met your friend, JB.”

 _“You did? I forgot to tell him I left so I guess he got piss drunk and banged on the door?”_ Jinyoung snorted.

“That he did, indeed.”

_“That ass. He’s like waist deep in shit with his emotional problems and sometimes I don’t even know what to do with him. I hope he didn’t dump all his worries on you. He’s a good guy, if he wants to be.”_

“Oh, we got along quite good..” Jinyoung wasn’t sure had JB ever expressed his tendency to be able to hook up with guys to Jackson. He opted he was better off if he didn’t say too much right now.

 _“Don’t tell me.. Jinyoung, did he actually hit on you?”_ Jackson seemed to be amazed.

“Well.. I wouldn’t put it like that. I think it was me who made the first move..” Obviously Jackson knew more about the situation.

 _“I knew it! Good for him. I’ve been trying to coax him out of his shell for years. I hope you banged him good.”_ Jinyoung felt the heat rising to his cheeks rapidly. Well, he didn’t have to go into details and Jackson couldn’t see the flush that was brightening his face.

“Are you coming back for the New Years?”

_“Oh, yeah. I’ll be there on the 31 st and be pretty miserable I had to leave all these cool people I’ve met behind me. I take it you’ll be doing the same?”_

“No, I actually am not. There’s nothing pressing waiting for me so I’ve made some plans to spend time at JB’s house. I’ll probably return home after the year changes.”

 _“That serious, huh?”_ Jackson was chuckling happily and Jinyoung cursed his inability to keep his mouth shut. It was hard, though, to stay silent when he was feeling so happy. _“I guess we’ll meet then. I’ve had the habit of being a nuisance to JB this time of year. You know, just to pay him back all the times he woke me up in the middle of the night.”_

“I’m looking forward to that.”

They spoke about few other matters before the call ended. Jinyoung smiled to himself and sighed. His life seemed to have taken a 180 degree turn. What was worst; he didn’t even feel bad about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up as I'm going to get out of the country for a week (because it's gonna be my bday next week!) but I'm taking my laptop with me, so I might have time to write, or maybe even update.
> 
> As usual, all the comments and kudos and whatnots are cherished. Special thanks to those who managed to brighten my mornings with awesome comments already~


	6. Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY it's Markson chapter! This is my bday gift for myself. Much fluff and enough goodies to keep your heart warm. Well, it keeps me warm and shibby at least. XD Hope you enjoy!

**Los Angeles**

The Christmas Day passed Jackson and Mark lazily, the two of them cuddling in bed, just watching movies. They didn’t talk too much, because it was easier to let the words wait. And it was definitely easier to enjoy the constant presence of someone huggable and willing, without going into the whole matter they had managed to get entangled in. They were disgustingly happy, and very confused, about their almost blossoming romance. Jackson thought the circumstances were a bit unusual, and the situation had definitely escalated fast, but then again.. People did very strange things to heal after break ups. For Jackson, holding Mark in his arms, while watching silly comedies, was the best remedy in the world he could think of. The comforting weight of the other resting his head, and half of his torso, on Jackson’s chest was reassuring and it brought a lump to his throat that wouldn’t go away.

After confessing how they felt about each other, and agreeing they needed to give some time in between the past and the present moment, the atmosphere had turned pretty laid-back. Either of them could, just out of nowhere, give random kisses on the other’s cheek, or lips. Or they could just hug for several minutes in total silence, just breathing in the reassuring warmth hugging created. Stroking of hair, occasional brush of fingers on bare skin and stolen glances from the corners of their eyes.. They let it all happen naturally, without wanting to push things forward, even if the yearning was always lurking somewhere near. They tried their best to avoid situations where things could get out of hand, like, for example, kissing too long. It was still dangerous territory to venture in and neither of them wanted to be that hasty, even if it was hard not to think about it. And thus, the kisses remained sweet and chaste, the touches fleeting and cautious.

When the day turned to evening, Jackson found himself laying on the couch with Mark. His head was on Mark’s lap and Mark was absently twirling the blond locks with his fingers, while his other hand, and his almost full attention, was on his phone. Jackson was browsing randomly the internet with his own phone, not really paying much attention what he was looking at. He let his thoughts wander aimlessly, but mainly on Mark, who was so calm and quiet, it was hard to guess what he was thinking about. Mark was chewing on his lips from time to time, probably not even noticing he did it, and Jackson couldn’t help but to watch captivated. He wanted to say something, but nothing came to his mind.

Jackson chuckled; the situation was absolutely perfect for anything to happen, but nothing would happen, that was for sure. It was almost intoxicating; to be in a situation where you are constantly on the edge of taking that one step over the invisible line that is drawn between you and the one you want. It gave Jackson some serious thrills to be, basically, allowed to go on, but restraining yourself was preferable, if not actually prudent. Mark raised one eyebrow, but didn’t look down at Jackson. He just moved his hand away from the blond hair and instead traced his fingertips over Jackson’s forehead and down the bridge of his nose.

“What’s so funny?” Mark finally asked, flicking gently the tip of Jackson’s nose. Jackson shifted slightly to look better up and to find Mark’s eyes.

“Just thinking of you.” Jackson said, smirking as the comment managed to make Mark glance down at him. Jackson remained quiet for a while, before continuing. “What are you thinking?” Jackson was merely curious. Mark was a question mark; on the other hand he was very open and straightforward, but on the other hand he was really quiet and had a face that resembled a marble statue, which was unreadable, to be honest.

“Nothing really.” Mark took a second glance at Jackson and gave him weak smile. “I know.. I’m really boring.” He almost looked apologetic.

“Not really.” Jackson huffed and he cocked one eyebrow. “Why do you say something like that?” He frowned. He certainly didn’t think Mark was boring, quite the opposite. So what if they didn’t talk all the time? Who cared if they didn’t constantly do something meaningful, or in general, be more active? Jackson had spent half of his life being hyperactive and all over the place, so he found Mark’s calmness rather captivating.

“It’s because I’m really quiet and tend to give wrong impressions, even when I really mean the opposite.” Mark just shrugged, the thought being all too familiar to him and he had accepted his fate a long time ago.

“You’re kidding, right?” Jackson groaned. “I mean, I haven’t gotten any wrong impressions from you and who cares if you’re quiet. I’m loud enough for both of us. You know, if I found you that horribly boring and uninteresting, I probably wouldn’t be here.” Jackson arched his brows, hoping Mark would take him seriously, at least on some levels. He felt the tight knot in his chest constricting and he licked his lips, nervous. “I doubt that I would like you this much if you were giving off some bad vibes.”

“You’re so sweet.” Mark finally put his phone away and looked down at Jackson. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pushing myself down here.” Mark smiled a bit more genuinely now. “I’m used to being called boring, because that’s what I am. A plain person. I have thoughts but nothing so interesting I’d find it in me to start talking out of the blue.” Mark’s fingers were drawing lines over Jackson’s face; on his cheeks, over his eyebrows, gently brushing the eyelashes. Jackson swallowed.

“Well, I don’t find you boring, _at all_. I think you’re seriously talented and your thoughts are interesting enough to keep _me_ captivated. You’re like the nicest guy I’ve ever met and on top of that, you’re pretty much the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in my life. It kind of makes me look like a brute next to you.” Mark was very good at keeping a poker face and Jackson bit down on his bottom lip before lunging on. “And I like you just the way you are now.” Then he blushed rather obviously. “I don’t think I’d be so attracted to you.. You know, in every possible way, if I found you unappealing in any way.” Ok, he was bad at keeping his mouth shut, and it was double harder when Mark was looking straight at him with those pretty almond shaped eyes of his, the depths curious and inviting.

“Oh.” The flawless pink lips formed the perfect O. Mark remained quiet a long while, but his cheeks were tinged with faint blush. For a while his fingers weren’t moving at all, but after a while he resumed the caressing. The warm tips moved slowly to Jackson’s lips and Mark drew the outline of them almost distractedly. The touch left Jackson feeling like he was tranquilized, all his senses concentrating on that particular part of his face. He closed his eyes, the touch sending sweet tingling sense all over his body. “I like your lips.” Mark’s hushed words entered Jackson’s brains and his eyes snapped open.

“You.. do?” Jackson couldn’t really believe his ears. He’d rarely been on the receiving end, when it came to sweet talking, so it was no big surprise Jackson was hardly able to take it in right now, so completely out of blue.

“Yes. The shape, the touch.. The feel against my own lips. I like it.” Mark was turning redder with every said word. Well, the compliment was appreciated, of course, but now Jackson felt the pressing urge to actually kiss Mark. And he was pretty sure it would get out of hand in few seconds. But _dear gods_ , did he want to. “You’ll be a good boy, won’t you Jackson? You’ll wait for me, until we’re ok to go on?” Jackson couldn’t reply at first, his thoughts rampant and heart rate way too high. Then he let out a long quivering breath and smiled.

“Yeah. I’ll wait.” He’d wait until the end of the world if he needed to; Mark was absolutely worth it.

~

Mark finally left on the morning of the 26th, he had to pay a visit to his family, and Jackson watched him go with a forlorn smile on his lips. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to plunge deep into a relationship quite yet, the wounds in his heart making him hesitant, but given some time it would be possible. But he wasn’t opposed to something like courting Mark. A bit old fashioned maybe, but who cared. If Mark wouldn’t start opposing too much, Jackson was all in for it; with all the hand holdings, roses and candlelight dinners included. Though, he didn’t have time in his hands to do much, even if he wanted to take his time and slowly win Mark’s heart for his own. His flight back to reality was already on the 30th and he guessed he would achieve very little in less than four days.

They had decided not to meet until the day of Youngjae’s concert, which they were going to attend together, just to sort out their feelings on their own. Jackson was sure he would be burdened with his crappy past a long time, but this time it sure as hell was going to stay in the past. Jackson was definitely confident he would _not_ start pining after Ben ever again. Enough shit was enough, right? The memory of Ben doubled up, after Mark had kicked him, was still making Jackson smile and feel victorious. He would play that image in his head many, _many,_ times in the future.

The problem lay more with Mark and his situation. Jackson knew there had to be some kind of confrontation between Mark and Bambam, before things could proceed in any direction. He wished and hoped with all his heart that Mark would soon be free to... Jackson scratched his head, pondering. To exactly what? First of all, the distance between them would be a problem. It wasn’t, however, too big of an obstacle and was fairly manageable. But to keep up a long distance relationship would require a lot of work and trust, and Jackson was sure they weren’t in that state quite yet. It needed some thinking and planning to keep up the electrifying feeling that pulled them towards each other so strongly, when they were face to face. Would it remain like that, if they were separated by an ocean for months at a time?

A small grin however played on his lips, when he thought about the past two days. The past week actually. From the start there had been something in Mark that caught Jackson's eye, and now that he was pretty much free to explore all the possibilities, he was getting breathless just thinking about it. Dear gods, he was so infatuated with that gorgeous dance instructor. And watching Mark dancing had been breathtaking; he was so energetic, enthusiastic and everything he did looked so _easy_ and doable. Not to mention the faces he did while moving around; silly, cute, sexy, seductive, smoking hot.. Jackson could’ve watched Mark dancing until he died.

Thinking now about the years Jackson had spent being pushed and pulled around by Ben was actually quite horrible. It was embarrassing and downright shocking he had let himself be jerked around like he was nothing but a wet rag. How low could you really go, just to pretend everything was ok? Low, it seemed. Jackson grunted, the memories like a film again flashing before eyes. He wanted to burn those imaginary tapes, bury them and spit on the grave, maybe even do some voodoo dancing on it too. He let out a string of swear words, just to let some air out and paced aimlessly around Jinyoung’s house. He cursed himself for being such an idiot. He cursed Ben, well, for obvious reasons already stated, and he cursed everything that had happened.

But, he was grateful for one thing; had he not been in that miserable state, he might have never left home and never would have met Mark. And _that_ was enough to make him stop stomping around pointlessly and halt. If he’d change the past, he’d alter the future. And future without Mark didn’t seem all that appealing anymore.

Jackson actually sat down and wrote down all the pros and cons about his current situation. The pros list consisting mainly of things related to Mark, but Jackson managed to be reasonable and write down some real things as well. The cons list was almost sad to look at; he’d still have to face Ben at work. He’d have to go back home alone. He’d be apart from all the good things that could happen, if he was in the same vicinity with.. Again, Mark. It was impossible to think anything without the trail leading to the wide smile that made Jackson’s knees weak every single time he saw it. He threw the pen from his hands and laughed, defeated.

“I give up! I can’t even think straight when I know I could be out there and in the same room with him! Fuck this, I’m done with denial and shit. Time for some guilt-free happiness.” Jackson looked down at Coco who was playing with a ball at his feet. He’d call Jinyoung, because he wanted to make sure everything was going smoothly, wish him happy holidays and then walk Coco back to Youngjae. Fresh air and some company would do good for him.

~

Later in the afternoon Jackson was lounging on the couch with Coco snuggling on his chest, absently caressing her soft ears and fur, while listening to Youngjae playing his piano and singing softly. Youngjae had such a rich and vibrant voice; it was filled with emotions with every syllable that fell out of Youngjae’s mouth and it reached out to your heart and soul effortlessly. Jackson could’ve listened to the singing for hours. He was absolutely certain the concert would be brilliant. With a voice and talent like that, it was a miracle if something would go wrong.

Jackson felt giddy when he thought about the day itself and he couldn’t help but to giggle nervously out loud. Youngjae glanced at Jackson, who was now softly cooing at Coco with the stupidest expression plastered all over his face.

“I bet I know what, or rather, _who_ you are thinking about.” Youngjae smiled mischievously at his friend.

“Too obvious?” Jackson’s answer was mildly embarrassed. He knew he wasn’t really good at keeping his emotions at bay, and really.. What was the point of hiding the jubilant feeling from showing? No one could blame him for being ecstatic. It was a futile attempt anyway at this point.

“Quite. All you’ve been talking about is Mark. Mark this, Mark that.. Mark here, Mark there..” Youngjae grinned suddenly. “Why don’t you just text him? You didn’t decide to stay completely out of touch for two days, did you?”

“No… I guess it’s allowed.” Jackson felt suddenly very hot and he had a bunch of restless butterflies fluttering inside him. “You don’t think I’d sound too needy or desperate if text him? It’s only been like five or six hours.” Jackson hadn’t exactly counted the hours since Mark left, but almost. He fished his phone from his pocked, careful not to move too much to disturb the dozing dog, and stared at the blank screen, pursing his lips. He didn’t _want_ to sound too clingy or anything, but seriously now.. He had very little space for anything else in his mind, except for Mark and everything connected to him.

“Just do it, dummy. It’s fine. We’ve all been madly in love once or twice in our lives.” Youngjae smirked deviously.

“I’m not in love with him!” Jackson pouted, however the blush on his cheeks very visible. Of course he wasn’t _in love_. It’d be ridiculous to say something so outrageous, when he had known Mark only like for a week now. But holy damn Mark was so perfect and Jackson wanted to get him back right here next to him, just to be able to stare at the smooth skin, the plush lips and the short eyelashes framing the most beautiful eyes. Heavens forbid, but Mark’s face was just too much for him to comprehend; the perfect oval shape, the sharp line of his jaw, the curve of his nose.. Jackson almost let out a high squeal. Just thinking about Mark made him want to roll on the floor and grin.

“You sure act like you are though.” Youngjae winked at Jackson and turned his attention back to his instrument. Just to be annoying, he chose to sing a part of “Truly, madly, deeply” playing it on piano as well. Jackson threw a pillow at him and stuck his tongue out. Youngjae easily ducked out of the way and laughed heartily at the despairing expression Jackson had.

Jackson stared a moment or two quietly at his phone, thinking about what he should say and if this was _really_ ok to do. His feeling of giddiness and his thundering heart were causing him some serious trouble at concentrating. Finally he started to type a message.

“Look who’s sleeping on me and not trying to lick my face clean for once.” Jackson opted he would be fine if he’d just send a picture of Coco sleeping on him, and not type some obviously needy shit about how he wanted Mark to be laying on his chest instead of the dog. The reply was almost instant.

_“She’s so cute! And you thought you couldn’t handle her.”_

“Well, you waved you magic wand and suddenly she likes me.”

_“If I did that then it worked on you as well..”_

“Are you saying you used magic to make me like you! I’m appalled.” Jackson was smiling that silly, wide smile that people, who have a serious crush on someone, have on their faces.

 _“I’m a wicked person. Should I be punished?”_ At this point Jackson was getting too many ideas in his head that were going far over the PG13-ratings and his face felt hot. He wanted to squirm and clutch the phone to his chest.

“Yeah. Your punishment is.. Not to see me in 48hours!”

 _“So cruel. I’m weeping here.”_ The text was accompanied with a selfie where Mark was pouting shamelessly. Jackson was sure this particular picture would end up as his wallpaper before anyone could spell hopscotch. He fidgeted, his thoughts making it impossible to stay still. Before he could send a reply, Mark managed to continue. _“Seriously though, I can’t wait for the concert. I really want to see you again.”_ Jackson was crimson by now and he thought his heart couldn’t take it anymore. Mark was just too awesome for words and Jackson wanted to do all sorts of things with him. Preferably right now. He let out a quiet whine.

“You are _not_ making this any easier. We’re supposed to reflect on our feelings and not go running into things without thinking them through.” Jackson did _try_ to keep his head calm.

 _“I’m sorry.. You’re right. I can’t help it though. I’ll stop now, even if it’s very difficult. Behave yourself.”_ And after reading that Jackson closed his phone and took a few deep breaths, to calm his uncontrolled thoughts. Having a crush this bad, and being in somewhat shitty situation, was a bitch.

Jackson groaned, placed his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. He would go mad before Thursday, he was sure of it.

~

Thursday seemed to crawl towards him. Jackson was sure he wasn’t imagining this, because every time he looked at the clock it had moved only a few miserable minutes forward. When you are anticipating something, as eagerly as Jackson was, the time has the ability to slow down tremendously. Every passing second turned to minutes, minutes to hours and hours to days.. Jackson was sure he should be doing all sorts of things in the meanwhile, but he couldn’t help but to stare out in the distance and think how unfair it was, that his time here was nearly up. Sure, he could always fly back and that wasn’t even something he was unwilling to do. But he’d have to fly back and forth a lot to quench his thirst for more pleasurable company. He liked living in England, of course, but after all the mess with Ben and Jackson meeting Mark, he was seriously weighing the possibility of _really_ moving out of UK.

He had moved from Hong Kong to England when he had been young, to study and because most of the prestigious schools supported fencing, and had sort of just gotten used to living there. So, now that he was a respectable adult, Jackson snorted at this, he surely would be able to make another big leap of faith. It would require a lot of ground work of course, but if things would turn out fine it definitely was an option to consider seriously.

Jackson smiled suddenly. He couldn’t believe he was actually thinking something like this. He had known Mark for a week. _A week!_ And already he was so head over heels he was about to move his ass closer to Mark permanently. What would he do if things didn’t work the way he hoped they would? He had no idea. Jackson grunted. There was no point in worrying right now, but he couldn’t help it. All the possibilities were flying around in his head, like a swarm of bees, buzzing and making him unfocused. And besides, who said dreaming hurt anyone? Daydreams keep you going, if nothing else, and it was fun to contemplate all the what if’s.

Jackson hit the punching bag Jinyoung so conveniently had in his personal gym, to vent out his frustration; the perfect escape from staring at the clock. He wasn’t very good at staying in one place when he was nervous. He needed to do something and working out was always a good way to put your mind at ease, not to mention it relieved the stress the waiting caused.

He had already laid out the clothes he would wear tomorrow; the new suit jacket, a pale pink collar shirt and the new jeans. He would push his hair back with liberal amount of hair gel and spray, and probably wear some make up to make it appear he was absolutely irresistible. Jackson could be vain if he wanted to be, but it didn’t come naturally to him; he was more of the kind to act on his instincts rather than thinking things thru. If he looked in the mirror he could say he was pretty decent looking, but not the most handsome guy there was. He wasn’t too tall, just your average height, he wasn’t too muscular or too thin, though he tried to keep fit, and his face was, well. It was on the better side of the average person, he guessed. However compared to Mark.. Holy _shit_. Jackson felt like an ugly duckling next to him, but he didn’t mind it; it was so incredible that Mark was even looking at him, like he wanted nothing better than to have Jackson right there, beside him.

And then the highly anticipated day arrived. Thursday morning dawned cloudy and cold. It smelled like heavy rain and the clouds were hanging low over the land. Jackson woke up with a headache twisting his poor brains. He groaned and moaned and wished he had a servant or something, because he did _not_ want to get up and fetch himself a painkiller. The mere thought of standing up made him shudder. After being awake for only few agonizing minutes, Jackson fell back asleep.

Jackson woke up abruptly, when the heavy rain hit the windows. He climbed up from the bed and padded his groggy self to look outside. The hailstorm that greeted him was pretty intense and made him wish he’d never even thought about opening the curtains. Such an incredibly depressing sight, and on today of all days! Everything was painted in gray, the wind howling and bending the palm trees, rain hitting the window glass with so much force it was a wonder it didn’t crack. Jackson pursed his lips. He wished the weather would clear. Or else there would be hell. He didn’t really want to drive in this kind of weather. Looking outside and sighing deeply, Jackson realized his headache was gone. It had most likely been because of the storm, the air moisture and pressure and whatever else people were sensitive to.

Now that he was up he could just as well do something to occupy his mind. What do you do when you are stranded inside in a storm? Usually you take your significant other and do something nice with them, like cuddle or light a candle and pretend you are alone in the world. So Jackson's choice to text Mark wasn’t really so unexpected, considering he was quite honestly _aching_ to see Mark already.

“I wish I wasn’t alone in this weather.”

 _“Aw, are you scared of the big bad rainfall?”_ Mark’s reply was again almost instant. Did the man live the phone attached to his hand or something?

“No. Yes. Maybe. Not really. But you could do something about it anyway.”

 _“Believe me, I would like nothing better than to run to you right now, but I have something to do today, before I can hold you in my arms again.”_ Mark’s message was so straightforward it made Jackson blush furiously. Ok, Jackson admitted he didn’t mind the direct way Mark was expressing his feelings, it just surprised him, that’s all.

“Then I just have to hug the blanket. How boring. I’m pretty sure it won’t giggle if I tickle it. What is preventing you from saving me?” There was a long silence before Mark replied and it made Jackson almost worry he’d crossed some line suddenly.

 _“I’m meeting with Bambam.”_ And that was the whole message, nothing else. Jackson bit his lip and his heart shrank. Those two _had_ split up already and Jackson knew they _had_ to talk things thru at least once. But it still gnawed his guts even to think about it. So what if he was jealous? Normal, right? Even if Jackson and Mark weren’t yet like really involved with each other romantically, but just testing things. The unhappy numbness spread all over Jackson like the storm outside had moved to take residence instead inside of him.

“Oh. I hope it will be ok.” Jackson managed to type at least that, he didn’t want to sound too obviously jealous and grumpy, but he knew the disgruntled emotion probably shone thru like a beacon.

_“Don’t worry about it, we just need to talk. You’re the one I’m constantly thinking about and nothing will change that. I’ll meet you at the venue later today. Sweep me off my feet.”_

~

Mark was running late and he knew it. It had taken longer than he had expected to talk things over with Bambam. Mark sighed, tapping his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel. The whole day had been hectic with first him waking up too late, because he hadn’t been able fall asleep last night, he’d been worrying too much about meeting Jackson again. Then the weather had turned out to be a complete fiasco and had, of course, that made Mark extremely irritable. And then Bambam had called him and they had agreed on seeing and going thru the whole sad thing that had been.. Whatever it was that had been between them. And now he was almost late from the date he’d been anticipating from the moment Jackson had asked him.

Thinking about Jackson was a lot easier now. Talking with Bambam had proved Mark that he was definitely fine with his feelings and he could move on. Though, he admitted, his feeling of being hurt was still there and it stung him to be tossed aside like that, but it hadn’t been just Bambam’s fault. These emotions were however nothing compared to the joy and nervousness he felt when he was thinking about his silvery haired angel. Jackson was like a seraph, the purifying angel with six wings, the voice of God himself; the messenger, the agitator of other celestial beings. So strong and beautiful; shining that everlasting, inextinguishable inner fire, lighting everyone up with it.

Mark smiled; his train of thought embarrassing him enormously. To think he could get so absurdly poetic and draw from myths to describe Jackson was quite unexpected. He guessed this was what it was, when people tried to describe how it was to be a fool in love; to start talking about moonlit paths, glistening morning dew on grass and stars gathering in the eyes of the beloved. Seriously disgusting stuff, but what could you do to resist, when the mood caught up with you?

Love. Mark shuddered. He didn’t even know what love was. He’d been thrown aside few times in his life and it had left him skeptical about the whole matter; being discarded like he was as emotionless as he apparently looked like to be, wasn’t very nice. It hurt, of course, and it was painful to realize you weren’t good enough the way you were. And as time passed, he had started to believe it as well.

But, if he was truthful about love; he wanted to learn more about it, and what was more, he wanted to know what it could be with Jackson. So far anything that Jackson had done, or said, had been a sure sign that he wanted to explore the same unknown territory with Mark. To find about all the secrets of those feelings that make you lose track of time, lose the sense of reality and make you feel like nothing can penetrate your happy little rose colored bubble. Being separated for a few days from Jackson had already been excruciating for him. He had been torn between his need to fix his head and his need to throw himself into Jackson’s arms. Mark hadn’t even known he could feel anything like he was feeling right now; the exhausting intensity his heart and mind focusing on Jackson alone, was nearly suffocating him. And he didn’t mind it, at all.

He was more than glad that Bambam had called and they had talked. It made things so much easier, now that he understood his feelings for Bambam had all along been merely brotherly affection, rather than the tickling and yearning pull he had towards Jackson. Observing those two feelings was like comparing night and day. How could have Mark ever even believed he had even been _close_ to falling for someone, before he met the silvery haired beauty? Sure, each and every love, or crush, feels different; there are no two alike in the world.

Mark thought about the conversation he had gone thru just 30 minutes prior. Bambam had looked so embarrassed about the whole matter, that Mark didn’t have it in him to hate the poor guy. It had torn his heart apart listening to the sad apology repeated over and over again and finally he had just given up.

“It wasn’t nice, what you did, and you definitely should have told me.” Mark held one hand up to prevent Bambam from interrupting him. “You should have said something a lot earlier and you shouldn’t have led me to believe it was more than it seemed. But. You are not the only one to blame. I realize I should have done much more than what I did, or didn’t do. It was fun, while it lasted, but we can’t go on beating ourselves up if we want to move on with our lives.” Mark rarely spoke a lot, but he had to say these things out loud, otherwise it was useless to even be here talking with his ex.

“I am so sorry.” Bambam whispered, hanging his head low, looking at his hands. “I didn’t even realize I was attracted to Yugyeom before we started to hang out more. I knew it was wrong and yet it happened. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad I feel about it now.”

“You can’t really help it, when you fall for someone.” Mark actually managed to smile faintly, his thoughts trailing to Jackson. He knew now he’d been lost the moment he saw the brown eyes looking at him, like Jackson could see straight into his soul. “There are no excuses or explanations that could make this situation any better, but Bambam..” Mark reached forward and gently lifted the downcast face up with his hand. He looked into the wide, teary eyes and sighed. “I don’t hate you. It hurts, yes, but it’s better like this and we both know it.”

“Mark.. You’re too decent, you know that?” Bambam’s lower lip was trembling and after a while he lunged forward and hugged Mark so tightly it was almost painful. Mark returned the hug, pressing his face to the auburn hair and closed his eyes, listening at the hoarse whisper Bambam let out in his ear. “I wish you’ll find your happiness soon. You deserve nothing but the best.”

After that the conversation had pretty much been done. Mark had to get back home and change his clothes before he was ready to meet with Jackson, and it was a long drive before that, and of course the traffic had proved to be a nightmare today. When he reached his house Mark dashed inside and almost ran upstairs to take a shower, before pulling on the clothes waiting for him; the red jacket, black turtleneck shirt and the red pants. He had no time to waste on his hair so he just combed it down over his forehead and left it like that. It would have to be enough. Despite being a guy and owning very little make up, Mark did the best he could with powder, some highlighter and few brushes of eye shadow. He groaned pitifully when he examined his reflection in the mirror. He was sure he looked like crap and exactly as hurriedly dressed as he had, but there was no helping it. He was already pushing it by lingering here and watching himself.

It was precisely 8pm when Mark got to the venue and parked his car. He ran to the front doors and looked around him, almost fearing that Jackson had gotten enough of waiting and gone inside. But no; the speck of white caught Mark’s attention and he nearly stopped right there and then. His heart jumped to his throat and his face felt hot. Jackson was standing near the doors, casually leaning his back to the wall and looking out in opposite direction where Mark was approaching him. He was wearing the clothes he had bought, but under the jacket Jackson had a pale pink collar shirt, his hair was elegantly pushed back from his eyes and he had earrings on each of his ears. He looked absolutely ravishing.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Mark hurried towards his date and when Jackson heard him he turned his head and seeing Mark his face seemed to light up. The smile he flashed at Mark almost made his knees buckle under him; it was so bright and warm.

“You’re just in time. Let’s get inside.” Jackson held his hand out to Mark, who took it without any hint of hesitance, and they walked inside the venue together.

The concert proved to be magnificent; it had all the perfect aspects for a beautiful date and Mark had never known he could endure this much mushy sappiness. Jackson sat next to him, but his eyes were fixed on the lone person on the stage singing his heart out to the audience. Mark wanted to take Jackson’s hand in his, because it was just too much not to do so. His thoughts were lingering on this very intention so badly he almost forgot there was music and other people around him. Just when he was about to reach out and clasp Jackson’s hand in his, the song ended and everyone started to clap, Jackson included. Mark took part in this politely, his mind however somewhere far away.

“He’s so awesome!” Jackson turned to whisper to Mark, his eyes shining in the half light of the auditorium, the pale hair luminous under the spotlights. A lump got caught in Mark’s throat when he looked at the view in front of him. Why was it suddenly so difficult to act on his feelings? He’d been just fine doing all sorts of things with Jackson just few days ago, but now it seemed like he couldn’t even reach out and hold hands with him. Mark nodded, unable to say anything. Jackson gave him a fleeting curious look before turning his attention on the stage again.

Mark cursed under his breath and closed his eyes. He inhaled deeply, mustering the courage to move, trying to push the uncertainty away. He exhaled and opened his eyes. Mark glanced at Jackson and startled when he found the blond staring at him.

“Are you ok?” Jackson leaned closer, the scent of his hair and skin filling Mark’s nose and going straight to his head. “Is it.. because of me?” The look of insecurity and hurt flashing in Jackson’s features twisted some knot inside Mark and he bit his lip. He wasn’t alone in this situation, Jackson was as unsure as he was, about everything. Mark kicked himself mentally.

“You’re perfect. Don’t worry.” Mark smiled, the tension easing. Swallowing hard Mark looked at Jackson in the eyes and leaned even closer so that their foreheads touched. He looked at Jackson’s lips and the way he was sucking the bottom lip between his teeth, obviously anxious. “I’m just nervous.” Mark mumbled quietly, not wishing to disturb the concert for anyone else.

“You’re not the only one.” Jackson’s lips curved into a gentle smile and Mark felt his insides plummeting. Of course he wasn’t the only one jumpy and edgy, Jackson must be feeling exactly the same. He closed his eyes and let the emotions flow freely; the rapid beating of his heart, the small jolts of anticipation, the sweet trembling breaths of air and the feeling of wanting to embrace his companion and hold him there until the sun exploded.

“Can I.. kiss you?” Mark whispered, his voice barely audible in the midst of music floating around them. He felt Jackson nodding. Without opening his eyes Mark tilted his head to the side. He placed one hand gently behind Jackson’s neck and brought their faces even closer together. The touch of their lips was tender and sweet; it sparked the slumbering desire into life again and sent electric spasms down his spine. Mark opened his mouth just enough to let the tip of his tongue trail over Jackson’s bottom lip. He had wanted to do that again ever since the first time they had kissed. Jackson flinched noticeably and let out a quivering breath of air into Mark’s mouth. The reaction encouraged Mark to graze his teeth over the upper lip, tugging the soft flesh gently. He could almost _feel_ the quiet moan Jackson let out and something warm gushed all around his body. A surge of heat went thru Mark’s body when Jackson copied his actions and his tongue flickered out to touch Mark’s own tongue. It was really, _really_ , hard not to throw all the caution in the wind and plunge even deeper.

Mark wanted nothing more than to continue the kiss, but he was too aware there were people around them and he _knew_ those people were scrutinizing the two of them and thinking how on Earth did they dare to flaunt their affection in public like this. Mark leaned back, giving last peck on the moist lips and opened his eyes. Jackson was breathing heavy, his lips parted and his eyes closed. It was such a shame they were here right now, but on the other hand, it was better like this; the situation would have gotten out of hand for the umpteenth time, had they been alone and in private quarters.

On the stage Youngjae had finished another song and the crowd was applauding. Mark was inhaling Jackson’s essence thru his nostrils and it filled him with bubbling expectation and so much joy he was about to burst.

“The next song is dedicated to a pair of friends, who have just started on the path of finding love..” Youngjae said smiling, into the microphone. He was then accompanied by a woman who stood next to the piano in a sparkling midnight blue gown, her skin pale and smooth, the dark hair falling over the delicate shoulders and down her back. “Moonlight.”

Mark could feel his cheeks burning. He glanced at Jackson, noticing he wasn’t alone in his bafflement and confusion. To have a song dedicated to you in middle of a concert was something Mark definitely had not expected. And he was pretty sure it was him and Jackson Youngjae was talking about.

 _“I see you, I see you and you’re dazzling”_ Youngjae’s soft voice called out, the tune he played gentle, flowing and dreamy.

 _“You see me, look at me, my heart’s fluttering”_ The woman next to him sang, her voice surprisingly low and rich, reaching out to the hearts of the audience.

 _“I see you, I see you and you’re dazzling”_ Mark could almost hear how the blood inside his veins was flowing, rushing to fill his cheeks and paint them red.

 _“You see me, look at me, everything stops”_ Mark could feel his heart beating faster. He glanced at Jackson again, biting his lip. Then Mark reached out and took Jackson’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers and smiled. The smile Jackson returned at him made every last bit of worry disappear from his mind.

 _“The light is disappearing tonight_  
Just you and me, just us two  
We’re laying under the shadow of the moonlight  
I’m gonna hold you, girl imma hold you tight ay”

He was almost in tears because he was so full of emotions right at this moment; he was a barrel filled up to its rim and he was about to flow over the edge if he didn’t get the chance to tell Jackson about his feelings. Was it too early? Probably. Was it in vain? Probably not. What would they do, if they both were so smitten they wanted nothing but to glue themselves together but the ocean cruelly would separate them? Mark had no idea.

The concert was finished with Youngjae standing in the middle of the stage, holding his arms to his heart and bowing time and a time again to the applauding audience, who stood up to show their respect. Mark and Jackson stood there, clapping with everyone else, the anticipation sizzling between them, like the air was steaming hot. They walked out of the auditorium and into the street, towards the parking lot. Reaching Mark’s car they stopped and stood in silence for a while, just holding their hands together and looking down at the fingers caressing each other’s skin.

“Do you.. I mean, could you stay with me until you have to leave?” Mark whispered finally, looking up and searching the big brown eyes he had come to adore so much in such a short amount of time. Jackson looked back at him with unwavering seriousness and nodded ever so slightly.

“Yeah. I’d like that.” Jackson let out an embarrassed laughter. “Just so you know, you look so damn good tonight I have very little self-restraint left in me.” His cheeks were tinged with pink, he was biting his lip and looking so incredibly adorable Mark had hard time not to start laughing hysterically, just because he was so nervous and glad and overjoyed to hear such words from the mouth of the person he wanted more than anything.

“Well, you don’t _have to_ restrain yourself..” Mark giggled, the mere idea of tearing off the layers of clothes off of Jackson, and himself, was intoxicating. “Not too much at least.” Though it was excruciating to wait, it probably was for the best. Even now, when things were clearer and it was fine to move on, it wasn’t necessary to rush into physical relationship. It didn’t, however, mean they needed to wear chastity belts… There are, after all, many other ways to enjoy your partner than just having sex. Jackson’s impish grin suggested that Mark wasn’t the only one thinking along those lines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A question;  
> Who'd like to see a marriage happen? I do enjoy writing happy things and marrying someone is so much fun I could easily write one chapter dedicated to such an event. 
> 
> OK, cookies, bday cake and hugs and kisses to everyone who had read this far!


	7. Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update.. Anyway, it's a bit hectic atm, because I have guests visiting, but I try to write whenever I have time. Look forward for more chapters ^^

**England**

Jinyoung munched absently on his piece of toast with a newspaper spread on the table in front of him. He wasn’t really reading it, just merely letting his eyes rest on the words, but not taking in anything what it said. JB was busy with Sophie, who was having difficulties on concentrating on anything. She was running around and picking up random objects and throwing them at JB. Slippery little thing, if something. She managed to escape each and every attempt of trying to catch her up. She had wanted to watch the morning cartoons and _not_ get dressed up to get ready to go to the daycare she attended while JB was at work. Thus she had began to run from the kitchen to the hallway and off into the living room, all the time singing or shouting something pretty incoherent.

In the end Jinyoung took pity on JB and rose from the table, settling himself so that Sophie couldn’t see him the next time she bounced in from the kitchen door. Jinyoung acted fast the moment the flash of black ponytails were visible and snatched her up from her waist.

“Gotcha!” He declared victoriously, but the expression evaporated fast when the child started to squirm and kick him furiously.

“Lemme down! Bad Jinyoungie!” Small fists sunk with too much accuracy into Jinyoung’s arm and side, but even with the relentless attack, Jinyoung managed to keep his hold steady.

“Sophie…” JB approached the two of them, a menacing expression written all too visible on his face. He took the squirming girl into his arms and held her tight, so that she was only able to move restlessly around, but unable to direct any new kicks or flail her arms dangerously. “I will put you down if you just stay still. What is upsetting you, hm?” JB tried to sound nicer than he probably was feeling; he was still bordering on anger from the long and exhausting morning Sophie had given him so far.

“I wanna stay with Jinyoungie! Daddy can go to work and I stay here and play with Jinyoungie!” Sophie pouted, her cheeks puffed up and her brow furrowed. JB sighed, knelt on the floor and put his daughter down. “I wanna play with Jinyoungie. Daycare is stupid.” She was stomping her small feet on the ground and Jinyoung, listening to the two, had trouble keeping his face straight and not revealing how absurdly cute the whole scene was, even if he felt extremely sorry for JB.

“Sophie. You agreed on this. You’ll go to daycare for a few hours, because I have to go to work and Jinyoung has other things to do. Then we’ll spend the day together and you remember when I said Jackson is coming here too? So be a good girl now and just get dressed and stop giving me more gray hair, ok?” JB tried to be calm, but his patience was wearing thin when he was faced with the mulishly frowning little girl. Of course Jinyoung had absolutely nothing to do while the others would be gone, he could’ve easily watched Sophie, but JB wasn’t going to stay at work long. He just needed to pick up one manuscript, and then they would go to visit Jackson to welcome him back home and invite him for the evening activities.

“No! I won’t go!” Sophie almost wailed, her one foot was half in the stockings JB was trying to get on her and her hands clutching the stuffed bunny she’d picked up from somewhere to her chest. At this point Jinyoung decided to abandon his dignity and knelt beside the little girl looking straight at the round face and scrunched up nose.

“I’ll play with you when you get back, ok? Why don’t you show me what a big girl you are and get dressed? Then we can take you to daycare and before you know it, we’ll return to get you back home.” He wasn’t sure how to coax a petulant child to do what he wanted her to do, but Jinyoung wanted to help JB, who looked like he wanted to bang his head against a wall if things didn’t start to change soon.

“You’ll come with us?” Sophie had one finger pressing on her pursed lips and she was measuring Jinyoung from head to toe, trying to figure if he was to be trusted.

“Yes.” Just to be more reassuring Jinyoung nodded vigorously and tried to smile as cutely as he could possibly smile.

“Ok.” And just like that, she let go of her plush toy and started to drag the clothes on by herself. JB groaned and sighed. He looked at Jinyoung over the now happily humming little girl and mouthed a silent _thank you_ at Jinyoung.

A bit later, after they had dropped Sophie off, Jinyoung sat in the dusty, book-filled office waiting for JB to finish, whatever it was, he was doing here. He looked at the walls, all covered with shelves bursting with books and unfinished scripts. JB’s table was somewhere under the pile of paper and rubbish, he guessed. JB had been rather embarrassed, when he had led Jinyoung in there, explaining that he did most of his work at home, so the office had turned out to be more like a warehouse for him to store all his work related things.

He’d never even thought about what it would look like in a book editor’s office; the reality definitely exceeded the guesses he might’ve had before the moment he sat down on the rickety chair and examined his surroundings. The books in the shelves were so dog eared they probably would fall apart when touched. The manuscripts looked heavily corrected, some newer, some so old the paper was turning yellow. The layer of dust on each and every surface was amazing. Jinyoung wrinkled his nose, displeased. He could never let his workplace get so neglected. Ok, JB wasn’t here often, if he was to be trusted in this matter, but still. The way everything was just _thrown_ in some place was disturbing. Jinyoung’s fingers itched to start arranging the things, probably ditch some of them without a second look, and burn them. But it wasn’t his office and JB would most likely be more than a little put off if Jinyoung started to clean up. He settled, quite simply, to sit down on his hands and wait.

He thought about the incredible time he had had here so far, pursing his lips while idly staring at the ceiling, but not really seeing anything. Yesterday, when Jinyoung had settled as a guest at JB’s house, he had meant to sleep in the guest room. Well, _meant to_. Jinyoung had been talking with JB late into the night and eventually dozed off on the comfortable bed. He had had all the intensions of getting back to his room, and not sleep with JB, but things didn’t go like planned. It had been quite a shock to wake up in the middle of the night with Sophie bursting in from the door, crying that she’d had a bad dream and she wanted to sleep next to her father. Apparently JB had, at some point, covered Jinyoung with a blanket and had fallen asleep himself and was now woken up so abruptly.

Jinyoung, bewildered, half-asleep and stupefied, almost managed to fall from the bed onto the floor, because of the near heart failure Sophie’s sudden appearance caused him. He didn’t though, because a small hand, quite out of nowhere clutched his hand in the half darkness. Jinyoung was frozen on the spot only for a few seconds, until some internal instinct kicked in and he sat up, lifting the sniffling girl on the bed and settled her between him and JB. Who had a heart to say no to her, when she was scared and teary-eyed? Not him, at least. So, the situation had ended with JB on Sophie’s left side and Jinyoung on the right, both of their hands tightly held by the small fingers.

The memory still startled Jinyoung. It was quite different to go out with a person who had a kid and the things they needed to take into account were not small in numbers. Everything had to be planned out weeks ahead and you had to be prepared for setbacks all the time. Not to mention there was very little privacy when there was a child around. He wasn’t opposed to kids, quite the opposite, but had never really had the chance to be around them much, not until now. Sophie was, luckily, surprisingly fond of Jinyoung. He recalled the conversation from this morning with amazement. The lenience of children simply made him feel like _he_ was a bad and judgmental person.

They had woken up, all three of them, nicely cramped together in JB’s bed; Sophie taking most of the space by sleeping sprawled so that she seemed to be everywhere. When she’d rubbed the sleep from her eyes she had demanded to know why were they sleeping in the bed together and if Jinyoung was going to be her new mommy. This had almost choked Jinyoung, who wasn’t prepared for the straightforward way she was asking things, and so early in the morning. JB had first turned pale and then brilliant shade of red. Trying to explain things such as, guys can like other guys too, to a five-year-old, wasn’t high on Jinyoung’s to-do-list, but somehow there he was, ambushed in a situation like that.

“Sophie..” JB started, sitting up and rubbing his eyes wearily and slightly alarmed, then looking at his daughter seriously. Jinyoung could hear his heart hammering when he strained his ears to hear every syllable JB was going to utter. He also had the insisting urge to dive under the blanket and hide there until the situation would clear off. “You know how mommy and daddy liked each other when mommy was still with us?” Sophie nodded at this, her eyes fixed on JB and she was fiddling with the black hair, bringing the ends to her mouth. Jinyoung wanted to stop her from doing that and say it wasn’t good for her hair. He didn’t though. “Well.. It’s ok for two boys to like each other like that too. Or girls can like other girls.” That was the easiest way to explain it and, all in honesty, what would you say if asked the same question? “You might not understand it completely yet, but you will as you grow up. Just believe me it’s absolutely ok to like whomever you want.”

“Daddy… Do you like Jinyoungie like you liked mommy?” Sophie pursed her lips and frowned. She looked absolutely huggable like that. Jinyoung shook his head. Where on Earth were these feelings coming from!

“I.. uh, yes. I do.” JB’s eyes flickered to Jinyoung for a moment before he turned crimson and looked back at Sophie.

“I like Jinyoungie too!” Sophie jumped on the bed, her eyes shining and clapping her hands together. Then she stopped and crumpled her face once more. “Can we both like him?” What a question, really.

“I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with that.” JB managed a relieved smile and a deep sigh. Jinyoung felt like someone had deflated him and then filled up again, but with air so light he could have floated over the bed.

“Well, I like Sophie too. And your father as well.” Jinyoung said, a bit flustered. Just exactly _how_ had the situation turned up like this? Things were moving with such speed he was getting almost dizzy. Just breathe. Just take deep breaths and don’t think about it too much, Jinyoung told himself to keep his racing pulse in some control. The joyful feeling maximizing his anxiety in such way he was about to burst soon. JB might have noticed this as he coughed and snatched his radiantly beaming daughter in his arms before she could attack Jinyoung and make the situation deteriorate.

“Now, you little rascal, how about some breakfast?”  JB said, ruffling her hair.

After breakfast Sophie had forgotten she had ever been a good girl and started to run around. 

And now Jinyoung was here; sitting in the dingy office, waiting for JB and minding his own business. He would meet with Jackson and find out whether or not he would like him face to face as much as he liked him already. What Jinyoung could deduce from JB’s talks, Jackson was a good and loyal friend, prone to be alarmingly loud and make jokes pretty much about anything. But he had his worries like almost everyone had, and that made him insecure and shy. Jinyoung had his reasons to believe that Mark and Jackson would make a good couple, if they only could be a bit nearer to each other. He sighed, hoping he could do something to make things easier for the two lost idiots. But he wasn’t all powerful deity and thus, unable to change anything. All he could do was to hope everything would turn up right. For all of them.

 

**Los Angeles**

Mark woke up the morning of the 30th and felt a heavy sadness clouding his heart the moment he opened his eyes. When his thoughts cleared a bit and he stared at the ceiling, wondering why he was so gloomy, it dawned on him that today would be the day that Jackson would leave. And it would happen mere hours from now. The sun had not yet even risen and yet Mark was wide awake. He sighed and turned to his side, his eyes falling on the sleeping form of Jackson next to him. Jackson was balled up in the fetal position, his back towards Mark, only a tuft of blond hair visible under the blanket. Mark smiled, despite his melancholic mood.

They were sleeping in Jinyoung’s bed again, because Jackson needed to tidy the place up, pack his belongings and lock the doors before heading to the airport. Mark had offered, or insisted would be a better word perhaps, to take him there just because he couldn’t leave Jackson’s side even for one moment before the departure. To think his happy bubble was about burst, when the plane would fly Jackson back to England and away from Mark’s reach. What a bummer, honestly.

Mark inched closer and wrapped his arm around Jackson’s blanket covered body, hugging him close and the warm scent of detergent mixing with Jackson’s own fragrance causing his heart to flutter uncontrollably. He was so afraid this would be the end of all things, that they wouldn’t be able to keep in touch enough to have a proper relationship. Mark let out a deep sigh. He didn’t _want to_ be a pessimistic asshole, but it was pretty damn hard when there was going to be months and months of no physical reassurance of their affections. Talking and texting and emailing, or whatever people did these days, was easy, sure. But would it be enough? Mark could envision himself waking up in the dead of night just to make an incredibly expensive call to Jackson and tell him he missed him and hoped he would have a good day at work.

Work. That was one thing Mark was worried as well. Jackson would have to meet the bastard who had been the center of his life for such a long time, and without Mark there to support him, who knew what would happen. Would Jackson give in to old habits and fall back into the destructive behavior? Or would he be able to ignore the situation and move on? Mark wanted nothing more than to believe the latter. He _needed_ to believe in it, otherwise it wasn’t much use to hope anything deeper to happen between them.

Jackson muttered in his sleep and turned to his back, his face now visible. Mark smiled gently, reached out to brush the hair from Jackson’s eyes and softly caressed the skin of Jackson’s cheeks. He let his eyes travel over the cute nose, the full lips, the jaw line and down to the neck. Mark felt a rush of heat rising to his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to leave a love bite there, but there it was, in plain sight on Jackson’s throat; a purplish bruise decorating the pale skin.

Last night they had been… Exploring. Mark’s stomach churned pleasantly when he thought the way Jackson had picked him up, slammed against the wall and kissed him until Mark was seeing white sparks flying before his closed eyes. It had been nearly scary, to venture so far on the territory they hadn’t dared to step in before. Jackson had turned out to be as nervous as Mark had been; hands trembling, eyes darting from one place to another and heart beating so hard you could almost hear it.

They had allowed themselves the opportunity to discover the small things about each other. Like how it felt to be undressed without haste by your companion. How it felt to kiss the naked skin on the other’s neck and shoulders. How it felt to press their bodies together and really feel the radiating heat doubling from the touch. The unimaginable happiness of that moment still made Mark want to clutch the blanket and giggle.

Kissing Jackson was like ascending to a higher level of consciousness. It was soft, hard, demanding and yielding, all at the same time. It began with almost anxiously trembling, tentative pecks that turned to sweeter and deeper kissing after a while, fastening the heart rate and blurring the thoughts. It caused soft moans to escape Mark when Jackson let his tongue plunge slowly into Mark’s mouth and seek out its counterpart. The way Jackson dived almost with force into the wet depths and the way he kept one hand behind Mark’s head firmly holding him in one place, were turning into something like bonfires ablaze inside Mark. He was easily lost in the abyss of being held like that.

No matter how much Mark had wanted to, and obviously Jackson as well, they hadn’t gone below the waistline this time. It felt exciting to actually wait and just fool around a bit. A really long foreplay, one could say.

Jackson moved again, this time turning his head and peering under his half closed eyelids at Mark. A lopsided grin rose to his lips.

“What’s up?” Jackson’s voice was gruff and hoarse and he was still most likely half asleep, judging by the way his eyes kept closing and opening constantly.

“Just taking in all of you.” Mark snuggled up close to Jackson’s side and buried his face to the bared shoulder. “I don’t really want to wake up and let you go.” He would suffocate in these emotions if he didn’t share them, but Jackson was still so sleepy and cute and Mark didn’t want to make him worry.

“Don’t be so gloomy. I’m still here, aren’t I?” Jackson turned to his side, lifting the corner of his blanket and pulled Mark under it and closer to his body. It was so comforting and warm, to be wrapped up like that into that nest. Mark closed his eyes and inhaled the deep fragrance from Jackson’s skin; he smelled exactly what morning should smell like; cozy, safe and familiar.

“We can’t really fall asleep you know.” Mark mumbled against the crook of Jackson’s neck.

“Who said we have to sleep in order to stay in bed..” Jackson’s voice might be sleepy but he was definitely grinning, Mark could tell that from his tone. He smiled, a small excited tremor running thru him.

“Aren’t you the naughty boy.” Mark’s smile turned to a grin and he wriggled his whole body higher to be face to face with his mischievously grinning companion. “Do tell me, what did you have in mind?”

“Oh, nothing much..” The devious tone of Jackson’s voice didn’t manage to register in time and soon Mark found the warm hands reaching out to every possible part of his upper body, tickling and probing.

“No! Ahaha, Jackso- Stop!” Mark tried to squirm out of the way and away from Jackson’s relentless attack, but no such luck for poor Mark this morning. He squealed, giggled and pretty much yelled until he had tears in his eyes and he was completely out of breath.

“Got you smiling, didn’t I?” Jackson rolled to lay over Mark and pinned Mark’s both hands above the pillows. His smile was wide and jubilant and his eyes shining in the early morning light. Mark felt his heart skipping a beat or two just at the sight of Jackson above him. It was pointless, wasn’t it? To mourn something that was still hours away from them. Mark lifted his head up from the pillow and stole a quick kiss from the smiling lips hovering above him.

“Yeah, you sure did.” It would be hard, to wake up tomorrow and find his big bed empty. Mark knew he was going to hug the pillow Jackson had used and inhale the faint fragrance from it like it was the only lifeline he had left. And probably choke on the longing he felt.

Ruthlessly the time moved on, the moments of closeness slipping away from them, and they were forced to leave the comfort of the bed. Jackson tore the sheets off and folded them away. Jinyoung had a housekeeper to change them and clean whatever there was to clean, but Jackson insisted on doing at least _something_ , not just leaving like he had been staying in a hotel for two weeks. Of course, Jinyoung wouldn’t be back for quite some time yet and Jackson would most likely meet the guy back in England and apologize about the mess he had (not) left behind.

~

They stood at the airport hugging tightly, like it was the last time they were going to see each other again. Jackson kept mumbling ‘It’s ok. It’ll be fine’ to Mark, who had tears in his eyes and his heart was somewhere in his throat again and about to shatter into small pieces the moment Jackson would let go of him. This was definitely not the fun part. He loved how the arms around him were strong and supporting, but the pain he felt when he thought he couldn’t feel them around him in a long, too long, time, was absolute torture. Jackson slowly detached himself from the embrace and kissed Mark’s forehead, his cheeks, his nose and finally lingering on the lips.

“I’ll Skype you when I get back home, ok?”

“Yeah, ok.” Mark nodded. “I’ll be waiting.” There were no words that could describe his inner hell at the moment. All he could say was how much he would miss Jackson. How he would feel so utterly lonely after Jackson was gone, now that Mark had gotten so used to having the babbling man keeping him company. Jackson was like a one-man reality TV show and he kept Mark entertained even when he was silent and reading something brow furrowed.

He watched Jackson’s sturdy form disappearing into the crowd of people and sighed. Mark brushed the tears almost angrily from the corners of his eyes and turned his back to the depressing sight where his heart seemed to have gone too, with Jackson. Mark looked around him. All the people leaving and arriving; happy, sad, teary, joyous. Hugging and waving their goodbyes. Kissing and saying words Mark couldn’t hear. His eyes sought the walls, the people queuing to check-in, the families and couples preparing to depart together. He wished he could do the same. But he couldn’t. He had reality to deal with. He had responsibilities and an echoing, empty home to return to. No laughter to fill the rooms, no warmth to cuddle next to. The misery knotted up into a tight ball inside his chest and Mark felt like something was about to shatter if he didn’t do something soon.

But he wasn’t sure what he should do now. It seemed stupid to stay at the airport and wait until the flight would take off, but why would he do that? Jackson had already gone where Mark couldn’t follow him and there was, all in honesty, no point in standing in the middle of the people like a frozen statue and mourning after the blond. Mark wanted to pound his fist on the wall, kick the trashcan and yell; he was so frustrated and angry. Frustrated because it seemed impossible to have free time in near future to follow Jackson and angry because he was so helpless with all these stupid feelings making him like a bawling little child in need of his toy for comfort.

Mark stopped. He blinked and frowned. He _really_ ought to stop feeling so fucking sorry for himself; it was starting to get to the disgusting stage that was definitely not like him. The world did _not_ end and he could most certainly keep himself in one piece, even if Jackson was far from his reach for a long time. Mark fished his phone from his pocket and frowned again. It wasn’t like he didn’t have any options if he thought about things from a different angle. He had all the power and what was he doing? Bitching and moaning like there was no tomorrow.

 _Fine_. He’d do it. He’d change the fates, roll the dice or whatever. But he _would_ do it. 

And with that, Mark marched forward, the newly found determination pushing the sadness and despair away.

 

**England**

When Jackson finally got home he was dead tired. The flight had been way too long and it had seemed to take an eternity, mostly because Jackson kept replaying the sad face and almost falling tears in Mark’s eyes. It had taken him all the willpower he had, to detach himself from the warm, albeit quite desperate, embrace and turn his back on the man he was rather sure he’d one day love more than anything. Jackson closed the front door behind him and let the bags he was dragging with him crash on the floor. He wanted nothing more than to get back to L.A. and kiss Mark senseless and carry him into the sunset in his arms.

Not even caring to hang his coat properly, just dropped it on the floor and kicked his shoes off and ventured into his living room. Jackson took out his laptop and turned it on; he had promised to get online when he got home. When the stupid program managed finally to let him in, Nora had already jumped on his lap and Jackson was absently scratching her ears, he found no one online. Well, the time difference was quite a lot so maybe Mark was just sleeping. No, he was thinking the other way around, it wasn’t late at all in L.A. yet, only 10pm or something. So where was Mark?

Jackson growled at the laptop, like it was it’s fault Mark wasn’t there to talk with him. Jackson was super groggy and his head was spinning and the jetlag was kicking in horribly. He scooped Nora up to his chest with one hand, closed the laptop and wobbled upstairs to crash on his bed and sleep. It wouldn’t be a good morning that would greet him few hours later, because he would wake up alone and grumpy, but he would just have to bear it like good boy.

It was almost noon when Jackson finally woke up. He’d slept only about 6 whole hours and he wasn’t really sure where he was or what day it was, which the way world was turning or what language was he supposed to speak. Nora was pawing his face, mewling softly, probably because she wanted to eat. Jackson groaned, trying to dodge the small paws on his cheeks, but couldn’t very long before it got annoying.

“Fine, I’m up. Nora, stop it already. I’ll give you food.” Jackson yawned, stretched and sat up. His head was still spinning a bit and he felt the slight swaying motion that flying caused him sometimes. He didn’t really like being land-sick, but what can you do. He got up, washed his face and teeth and followed Nora downstairs to the kitchen to feed the constantly purring cat. He’d have to get JB to take her back at some point, it wasn’t Jackson’s part to take care of her anyway. He’d done it only because JB had been so devastated after his wife died and had been unable to take care of anything for a while.

Jackson was just brewing coffee with a piece of toast in his mouth when there was a knock on the door. He frowned. Who on Earth would that be? JB most likely, since he knew Jackson was home by now. Maybe even JB _and_ Jinyoung together. Jackson smirked. That particular part still amusing him; to actually think JB had gotten some ass, finally, after so many years of bitching about it when he was drunk. He padded his way to the front door still munching on the toast.

“Aren’t we looking smashing today.” JB’s voice greeted Jackson when opened the door.

“Nice to see you too, asshole.” Jackson grunted. He had half hoped Mark would turn up on his door step, but that was an impossible dream to even think about. “I bet you’d look like shit too if you’d just woken up after a few hours of sleep.”

“Probably, but it doesn’t stop me from teasing you now.” JB smirked and then briefly hugged his friend. “Had a good trip? I heard some rumors, you know.” He wiggled his eyebrows knowingly at Jackson.

“You can blame me for that.” A calm voice floated from behind JB’s back and a black haired young man peered at Jackson. Jinyoung apparently had tagged along, just like Jackson had thought he would. Jackson examined the newcomer; he was neatly dressed in smart cream colored coat, black suit pants and a pale blue sweater. He had coal black hair carelessly combed to fall over his forehead and a small smirk on his lips, but his eyes were crinkled in a friendly way. Well, Jackson thought, at least now he understood why Jinyoung’s house had been to meticulously arranged; the guy looked exactly like he lived. Clean, neat and handsome.

“I will blame you, but come in before you freeze your butts off.” Jackson wanted to open his computer and see if Mark was online, because he _really_ wanted to talk with him. The hours they’d been away from each other were already causing Jackson some withdrawal symptoms. He had no idea what to do with his hands, because for a few days he’d been able to touch Mark. He felt itchy and edgy just thinking that he wasn’t allowed to kiss that pale skin in such a long time. Jackson felt a pressing urge to get to work and tell his boss he’d want to have his next vacation as soon as possible.

“I almost thought you’d bring Mark with you.” Jinyoung said when they sat down in the living room and Jackson had fetched cups of coffee for them all. “He sent me an email yesterday.” Jinyoung explained after Jackson had glanced at him questioningly.

“He did? What did he say, is he ok?” Jackson blurted immediately, a twinge of jealousy lifting its ugly head inside him. Why had Mark contacted Jinyoung but not Jackson, like he had promised? That was something Jackson had not expected to happen, because Mark been so earnest and sad and seemingly unwilling to let Jackson go. So, why?

“I thought you’d be the one to know what he’s been up to.” Jinyoung raised his eyebrows in surprise, glancing at JB quickly. “No, I guess he’s alright. He just told me what happened and that you two kind of bonded pretty well..” He left the sentence hanging. Jackson turned slowly red under the scrutiny.

“Yeah, well. We did. But I haven’t heard from him since we separated at the airport.” He felt stubborn when he said that. It wasn’t like he meant things to happen and now he was neck deep infatuated with Mark who didn’t even bother to send him any sort of message. Jackson wanted to punch the wall, he felt so stupid for some reason. Had it just been a fleeting happy thing and now it was gone, just like that? What the fuck had happened. “I’m sorry, I have to check something.” He apologized to the pair sitting so nicely and sweetly almost on top of each other, the sight made Jackson want to vomit now, and fetched his laptop. He checked his emails. Nothing. He checked the Skype. Nothing there and no sign of Mark being online. He checked every other social media channels he had, but still, no sign of Mark anywhere. “Where the fuck is he?” Jackson groaned after doing all this.

“I’m sure he has his reasons. Don’t worry too much. Mark can be evasive when wants to be.” Jinyoung’s words didn’t exactly calm Jackson down. His heart was heavy and he wanted to run out to the fields and yell his frustration out.

“Yeah. I’m sure.” Jackson muttered darkly. “So, is the usual New Year’s party still on? Let’s sing embarrassing songs and amuse your daughter until she passes out from laughing too much?” He had to get distracted. Thinking about Mark and his absence would just make Jackson more aggravated and angry, so he definitely should direct his thoughts on something else.

JB and Jinyoung stayed a few hours to keep him company and they left to make preparations for the evening and to pick up Sophie. It was nice seeing JB so content and happy for a change. Jackson knew the loss of his wife had been terrible and after that his friend had been knee high in emotional shit. So, seeing him smiling that relaxed and happy smile at Jinyoung made Jackson feel good as well; it eased the worry he’d had for years.

Jackson promised he would turn up at JB’s house later. He needed to take nap to ease the grogginess the jet lag was still causing him and he wanted to unpack his bags and take long bath to wash all the dust off, so to speak. Sleep, food and bathing were nice and all, but when his mind was on Mark the whole time, it wasn’t enough to relax him. He kept opening and closing his Skype; to see if there was any life and closing it fast just to be stubborn and to appear like _he_ was the one who didn’t get online and _Mark_ was the one not being able to talk with Jackson.

Petty things, Jackson knew it, but he was feeling rather petulant right now and he had a good reason for it too. At least that’s what he told himself.

It was turning dark when Jackson opted he was good to go. He shut down all the lights, cooed at Nora for a while and stroked her fur affectionately, then he picked up the bags he had promised to bring with him and opened the door to let himself out. His intention of leaving was however halted when a dark figure stood there, effectively blocking his way. Jackson blinked. The bags almost fell from his hands, but he managed to keep a hold on them just barely. 

“Happy New Year..” Mark said, smiling nervously. He had a black winter jacket on, the hood pulled up to cover his head which was half hidden under a black beanie. Jackson couldn’t speak for a few minutes, he was so absolutely stunned. It took a while for him to find his brains and his voice and in the meantime Mark’s face had turned even paler than it usually was and he was visibly fidgeting.

“Mark?!” Jackson finally exclaimed. He could not believe his eyes. Not one bit. Was he dreaming? “Wha- I mean.. What the hell? How did you- When did you- How is this possible?” He stammering, staring at the lean figure on his doorstep.

“Can I come in? It’s kinda cold..” Mark was almost shivering, probably because he wasn’t used to this chilly weather. Jackson shook his head to gain some balance.

“Shit, of course. Get inside.” After he closed the door and turned to look at his unexpected guest, Jackson suddenly found his arms full of Mark and his fluffy coat.

“I took a night flight because I thought I couldn’t bear to be away from you so soon. I got a replacement teacher for my classes so I can stay a week if you’ll just have me.” Mark’s was blabbering fast and his voice was so close to Jackson’s ear he thought he could feel the lips on his earlobe. He shivered.

“Mark, you idiot! I thought you had a change of heart and ignored me..” It was like someone had lifted tons of rubble from his shoulders. This was just too amazing and what was best; this wasn’t a dream at all, but real. He thought this sort of thing could only happen in movies. “Shit, Mark. Of course I’ll have you, oh god, _yes_ , I’ll have you. You stupid, wonderful idiot! Why didn’t you tell me! I really thought what happened between us didn’t matter to you at al-..” Jackson’s stream of words got cut off when Mark quite effectively shut his mouth with his own. The kiss was cold, chilled by the frosty evening weather, but Jackson felt warmer than he had ever thought he would and he could feel Mark smiling against his lips.

“I wanted to surprise you. So, merry belated Christmas..” Mark pecked Jackson’s lips softly and quickly before hugging him so tight it nearly squeezed all the air out of Jackson’s lungs.

“The best present ever..” Jackson muttered into the softness of the jacket. “I was just about to leave for tonight. I promised to spend the evening with JB and Jinyoung.”

“Oh. Well, then. Um..” Mark detached himself enough to look at Jackson in the eyes. He looked so confused and lost Jackson thought he would melt right here and now. Of course he had planned on getting mildly drunk tonight, after Sophie would be sleeping, and being pissed that he had to watch JB and Jinyoung being cute together. But now… Now Jackson was sure the year would change in a much, _much_ , better atmosphere. He could keep Mark right next to him the whole night, hold his hand, kiss his cheek and lips and fall asleep with him in the early hours.

“Would you be my date?” The words just fell from his lips without him giving them much thought. Jackson wanted to look away from Mark’s eyes but he couldn’t. It was so cheesy and Jackson wanted to hide because of the level of sappiness but he was so happy right now he didn’t care one bit how lame he had turned.

“Thought you’d never ask.” Mark grinned suddenly, winked and showered Jackson’s face with small sweet kisses until Jackson was laughing uncontrollably.

~

When they finally arrived at JB’s house and got in, it appeared that the two weren’t at all surprised to see Mark and greeted him like he was a beforehand known guest to turn up.

“I was worried you wouldn’t make it.” Jinyoung said to Mark who was removing his jacket and beanie. 

“It got down to the wire, but here I am. Thank you for the advice and address.” Mark said, shaking his head and ruffling his hair. Jackson stared at him, confused.

“You changed your hair.” He pointed at the light brown color Mark now had, instead of the ashen blond he had been just half a day ago. He completely missed the last sentence Mark just had said to Jinyoung because he was too occupied to stare at the changed color.

“Oh, right. Yeah. I keep forgetting it..” Mark’s smile was almost apologetic and he kept brushing the bangs so that they would fall over his forehead neatly. “I thought I’d change the color at the same time I’m rearranging my life.” Then he blushed furiously. “Ok, I know that sounds so incredibly cheesy. I’m so sorry!” He hid his face to his palms and nearly wailed in embarrassment.

“Don’t be.” Jackson was probably as red as Mark was, but he didn’t mind it that much. Mark had just evaporated all the lingering doubts Jackson might have had left in him by saying that. It confirmed the fact that Jackson wasn’t alone in this puddle of gooey pink fluff. “Let’s drown in cheesiness together, shall we?” He swept Mark into his arms, bent him like they did to women in old Hollywood films and kissed him soundly on the lips, not really caring that all the other three occupants could see him doing that. He could hear Sophie giggling. Jackson straightened his back, still keeping his hands around Mark’s waist and then glared at Jinyoung pointedly, frowning. “What do you mean _thanks for the advice and address_?”

“Oh, nothing.. I just told Mark where you lived and how to get there from the airport…” Jinyoung grinned viciously and then fled to kitchen, Sophie trailing after him happily, as Jackson seemed be on the verge of exploding with suppressed irritation about the get loose.

~

The night was absolutely perfect. They had eaten well, sang a lot, laughed even more and played a few games to entertain Sophie who was almost ecstatic with all the attention she was getting from all of them. She’d been uncharacteristically shy when she had been introduced to Mark; she hid behind JB’s legs and peered up from there at the lean man who tried to act nonchalant and normal. Then she disappeared for a few moments, only to return with a stuffed Pikachu toy and handed it over to Mark. Mark took the toy without a word, just a curious smile playing on his lips. After that Sophie turned normal and threw all her shyness out of the window. Few hours later she was sitting next to Mark and playing with him like she’d always known him.

When the night progressed, the small group of people put on their coats and scarves, heading out. Jackson thought he would explode from happiness, just like the fireworks JB was firing for Sophie’s amusement from the backyard up to the sky. Mark stood next to Jackson, his hand inside Jackson’s jacket’s pocket with Jackson’s own hand, fingers curled together. They didn’t have to speak right now, the comfortable silence was enough for the moment they were watching the other three goofing around. Sophie was sitting on Jinyoung’s shoulders and giggling happily, her arms in the air every single time a burst of sparkling colors exploded in the sky. Jackson’s insides were warm and serene and there was probably nothing that could make him lose this feeling.

Mark moved next to him, shaking off the odd bubble that had enveloped Jackson’s mind. Mark looked down at the watch on his wrist.

“It’s midnight.” He looked up, taking a step to position himself directly before Jackson, pressing their bodies together as much as it was possible with all the clothing they wore, looking into his eyes. Mark smiled that wide, beaming smile that seemed to fill his face with light every time he did. “Happy new year.”

“And many to come..” Jackson muttered, his focus more on Mark’s eyes rather than on his words. The brown eyes were shadowed by the hood Mark had over his head, but Jackson could swear he still saw the fireworks gathering around the irises. He swallowed hard, but smiled, leaning forward and capturing the full, cold lips with his. “Many, many more..” He could feel Mark’s smile etching on his lips and heard his huff of laughter.

“Oi, you two lovebirds! Stop being so disgusting and come show us some love too.” JB called at them, laughing heartily at the disgruntled face Jackson directed at him. Jackson stuck his tongue out and then pecked Mark’s cheek quickly one last time.

“I’m glad we’ll be alone later.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Mark who responded with a cheeky wink and a bite of his bottom lip. Jackson felt a rush of warmth spreading inside him. Mark was so irresistible like this. It was impossible to keep his emotions from showing. Jackson was still completely astounded that Mark had actually flown here just because he wanted to be with Jackson. It warmed his heart, his soul, to know he could be so important to someone. It was an amazing feeling.

Sophie was running towards them the moment they turned around and she ran straight to Jackson’s arms, laughing.

“Jackie! Jackie, did you see the sparks in the sky! I wanna have some sparks in my room too!” Sophie wrapped her arms around Jackson’s neck and hugged him tightly.

“Well then, we’ll just have to paint some stars and fireworks on the walls.” Jackson picked the girl up in his arms and beamed at her.

“And Markie helps! I wanna have angels like Markie there too.” Sophie giggled and gave Mark a bit shy smile, her a bit too big cap falling partly over her eyes. Mark’s cheeks were tinged with pink, maybe because of the chilly night air, maybe because he was unaccustomed to be called an angel all the time. Sophie had at one point during the evening calmly declared that Mark was a celestial being, and she was sure he was her guardian angel.

“Of course he will help. Who could resist the cutest girl in the world!” Jackson kissed her cheek, causing Sophie to squirm and giggle furiously. Then he knelt down and put her back on the ground, before turning to face Mark again. He was looking at the two of them with a peculiar little smile on his lips.

“I’m happy, you know.” Jackson said to Mark after Sophie had run off to chase imaginary elves under the bushes in the garden. Mark looked at him questioningly. “That I took the vacation and came to L.A. and met Youngjae and Jinyoung.. And you.” Jackson heaved a huge sigh. “Mark, you have no idea how stupid I feel, because I’m so insanely happy you’re here.” It felt embarrassing to cough up these feelings, but he had to, they were too much handle.

“ I’m happy too.” Mark leaned in and kissed Jackson’s cheek, lingering there a long time, just breathing in slowly. “This will be a good year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who haven't seen the movie, the ending scene is sort of where it ends. After this... it's just figments of my imagination. I'm sorry about it in advance :'D
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and love and booo, I'm so happy you have read this far! *bow bow bow bow bow* ;~;


	8. Movement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, smut alert! Very long smutty smut smut.. Markson smut, of course. And changed the rating.. It got too explicit. :'D
> 
> Apologies for the lack of fast updates. I fell ill on top of everything, but I managed to scribble this.

**England**

They walked into the kitchen in half darkness, staying close to each other, hands full and trying to stay balanced. It was very late already, way past midnight and Mark felt a bit dizzy. He was tired and jet-lagged, and what was making it worse, was because he was slightly tipsy. They had popped some bubbly in celebration of New Year, and in forming of new relationships. Alcohol combined with lack of sleep always resulted in fast light drunken state for Mark. However the biggest reason for his discomfort, why Mark was nervous and hot all thru the night, was because Jackson was so close to him. Mark could feel the warmth of his body radiating thru the black shirt he wore when they moved so close to each other. He could sense the presence of the other even when they were not touching; the sensation crawling over his skin like loose sand poured from a bag.

They were cleaning the used plates and cups away while JB and Jinyoung had gone up to put Sophie down to sleep. And probably snog a bit in private before returning downstairs. Jackson put the dishes from his hands down into the sink, turned around and leaned his back on the edge of it, blocking the way. Mark could only see a half of his face. He reached around Jackson’s body to empty his own hands, his heart rate speeding up when he was forced to make contact with Jackson even if it was fleeting. Jackson’s hands darted out, after Mark started to back off, fishing Mark from around his waist and pulled their bodies close. The atmosphere intensified the second Mark felt the shirt clad chests touch. He looked at the half hidden face before him, not daring to utter a word; words would betray his state of mind with just one syllable. Jackson, however, leaned forward, a dark glimmer in the depth of his one visible eye.

“I think we should retire soon. The lovebirds want some peace and quiet, probably very soon.” Jackson placed his lips on Mark’s cheek; the surface felt smooth like silk, dry and hot. Mark inhaled deeply, steadying his resolve not to start a make-out marathon right here and now. “And I wouldn’t mind some either.” Jackson mumbled into Mark’s ear. Mark couldn’t do much else but to nod, look down and try to keep his hammering heart from bursting from his chest. All the anticipation and pent up need suddenly filled his body, like he was about to drown under all of it, and he felt even hotter than before, his knees weak and eyes blurring, stomach lurching down.

Mark was quite sure things weren’t going to stay very chaste much longer.

~

Jackson closed the front door of his house and sighed deeply. Mark stood before him, removing his jacket and shoes. He glanced at the blond, marveling the sight in earnest. Of course Jackson hadn’t changed during the hours they had been apart, though it had felt like an eternity. He was still the same good looking man with blond hair falling all over his face, eyes dark and penetrating, mouth ready to laugh at any moment. Mark moved his gaze away when Jackson had to bend down to loosen his shoe laces. He felt suddenly a bit awkward, knowing that he had all the rights to stare at the finely tuned buttocks, but that it would still be embarrassing to get caught in the act.

“You probably want to take a shower before sleeping?” Jackson’s voice entered Mark’s thoughts and he looked up to find Jackson standing much, much, closer to him than he had few seconds ago, running his both hands thru his hair. Mark swallowed hard. He nodded.

“That would be nice.” How could he keep his voice so steady, when his heart was beating like mad and all he could think about was the intoxicating smell wafting towards him from every part of Jackson; his clothes, his hair, his skin.. “I feel like I’ve been up for days.” Mark half smiled, looking down at Jackson’s chest. He didn’t dare to look him in his eyes. If he did that, he would just reveal how badly he wanted to hug Jackson close and merge his own body with his.

“Yeah, I’m not much better. Slept only a few hours after I got home last night.” Jackson was smiling, again pushing the hair away from his face with that smooth move he always did. Mark dared to widen his own smile.

“Lucky we don’t have to hurry anywhere tomorrow. We can sleep all we want.” Mark just barely managed to finish his sentence when Jackson was there, before him and pushing Mark’s back to the wall pinning him to the spot.

“You think I care to sleep when you’re here?” Jackson muttered darkly. “It would be madness to waste time on something as frivolous as sleeping, if I can have you moaning my name.” Now _that_ sent Mark’s mind spinning and his stomach churned. He reached up and placed one hand behind Jackson’s neck, burying his fingers into the short hair.

“How about I make _you_ moan _my_ name?” Mark could be mischievous if he wanted to, and Jackson definitely seemed to draw out all the naughty sides of him. Jackson grinned widely at him, leaning closer. He hovered over Mark’s mouth, almost touching, but then released his guest and backed down. Mark felt cold and disappointed, but still the heat thrummed relentlessly inside him. “Tease.” He snorted at Jackson who only winked outrageously in response.

“Shower and bedroom this way, my beautiful angel.” Jackson laughed, managing a quick slap on Mark’s ass before escaping from possible revenge up the stairs.

~

Mark stared at his reflection from the foggy mirror in the bathroom. His hair was still damp, almost wet, his skin moist and decorated with droplets of water he hadn’t managed to wipe off yet. He was tired beyond measure, but the shower had cleared his mind enough to think properly. Mark examined his torso critically; it wasn’t like he hated his body shape or anything, but some muscle growth would have been nice. He was skinny, lean and very pale. Wondering half-miserably what Jackson was thinking about him Mark humph’d at the mirror and turned his back on it. The towel wrapped around his waist he wandered back to the bedroom where Jackson had carried his luggage. Mark found his host sitting quite calmly on the bed, with nothing but a white tank top and dark blue PJ-pants. Absolutely gorgeous. Jackson glanced up when Mark entered and his face seemed to freeze.

“For fuck’s sake.” Jackson groaned, causing Mark to frown and a quick wave of worry washing over him. “It’s not fair that you are so fucking perfect.” Jackson swept his hair again with his hand, almost desperately. Mark managed a relieved sigh. He walked closer and sat next to Jackson on the bed.

“You keep saying that, but do you have any idea how perfect you look in my eyes?” Mark asked softly, staring down at his own hands resting on the towel covering his thighs, fighting down the bubbling joy he felt after hearing Jackson’s words. It was hard to understand how someone could describe you so beautiful, and so handsome, they almost went to pieces trying to declare that.

“I can’t help it..” Jackson’s muttering was quiet, almost sulky. Why did he have to be so adorable at the same time? Something twisted inside Mark’s guts and he bit his lips. Then he jolted in surprise when he felt Jackson’s fingers trailing down his spine. “You’re so slender. Smooth and soft to touch. All these muscles and edges of bones..” Jackson sounded like he was talking mostly to himself, so Mark kept quiet and closed his eyes, enjoying the touch. The mattress moved when Jackson turned his whole body to face Mark’s. He let out a small breath of air when Jackson kissed his shoulder, his free hand exploring now Mark’s bare chest. The fingers moved slowly over the few drops over water still lingering on Mark’s skin, drawing a moist line after them. Mark shivered slightly.

“Jackson..” Mark whispered. He was overwhelmed and happy, and Jackson planting small kisses on his skin was only expanding the joyous feeling. Jackson settled his right hand on Mark’s lower back, his left hand traveling from the pale chest up to the delicate neck and finally stopping on Mark’s cheek. Jackson slowly forced Mark to turn his head and to face Jackson. Mark had a moment to glimpse at the brown eyes looking at him under half-closed eyelids, before the vision vanished and Jackson pushed their lips together.

The kiss was perhaps sweet and endearing for a few moments before it turned needy. Jackson wasn’t exactly forceful, because Mark had no objections on being pushed on his back to lie down on the bed, Jackson following suit still attached to Mark’s lips and kissing him senseless. Mark wasn’t one to stay motionless, when things were getting this heated, and Jackson was already setting him on fire with each and every touch. Mark slipped his hand under the tank top, his fingers brushing over the waistband of the pants Jackson wore. He couldn’t do much but to return the eager and hungry kisses Jackson was giving him, and push his body up in response to the touches. The towel around his waist was starting to annoy him, not to mention how badly he wanted Jackson to get rid of his clothes.

“Take these off.” Mark demanded between nibs and tugs of the plush lips, already starting to swell from kissing. He wanted to feel more of Jackson, to _know_ he was there, glued to his own skin and that he wasn’t going anywhere. It was almost desperate feeling, and it showed in his moves when Mark helped Jackson to remove the piece of fabric, hands nearly trembling with anticipation. Jackson threw the shirt off somewhere and looked down at Mark, resting breathless on the bed, wearing nothing but the towel.

“So gorgeous..” Jackson mumbled, leaning down and latching his lips to Mark’s neck. Mark could’ve said the same thing about the blond, but had no time to return the compliment, when Jackson was back half on top of him. He leaned on his right elbow for support, his left hand returning to Mark’s chest, while his mouth moved almost lazily over the sensitive skin, teeth grazing the surface gently. Mark hummed appreciatively, closing his eyes and allowing himself to be swept away with the pleasure he was feeling. Jackson’s fingers traced the sharp line of Mark’s collarbone, moved softly over the muscles on his chest, gently brushing over one erect nipple. Mark bit his lip and shut his eyes tighter, burying his fingers into the soft blond hair, wishing this feeling would last for a lifetime.

Jackson’s palm pressed against the flat stomach, halting there on the edge of the towel, unsure whether to go on or not. It was rather cute, how hesitant Jackson could be; at the same time he was pushy and dominating as well as shy and adorable. Mark exhaled slowly, stroking the small of Jackson’s neck, feeling the muscles tense and tight under his fingers. Jackson moved just enough to be able to look down at Mark, with that one burning question visible in his dark eyes. Mark couldn’t help but to wonder what would happen, if he would turn the situation around and strip the PJ’s from Jackson and take him instead of the way things were going now. Would Jackson agree on being a bottom? Who knows. But right now, Mark had only one goal in his mind; to make them both feel good. Right now he wanted to just be able to touch Jackson, because Jackson looked so perfectly god-like with that animalistic hunger in his eyes. The sight made Mark see red and his whole body felt even hotter than before.

“Touch me.” Mark finally managed to whisper against the flushed cheek, kissing the skin with an open mouth. Jackson didn’t hesitate long after he heard the words that gave him the access for more. Nimble fingers untied the loosely wrapped towel and pushed the edges away, exposing the narrow waist and all else that had been hidden under. But Jackson didn’t look down at the pale body, only his hand was warm on Mark’s stomach, unmoving and steady and he studied Mark’s face, his head tilted just enough on the side to make him look pondering. Mark felt almost vulnerable being so completely naked and just laying there, his legs still hanging from the edge of the bed. Then Jackson leaned down and captured Marks lips into a kiss that was so slow and filled with such emotions it was hard to put them into words. Mark gasped into the kiss when Jackson slid carefully his fingers down Mark’s hipbone and down to his thigh, brushing the skin so gently it was hard to decide if Mark wanted to savor the situation with slow speed, or did he want something a bit more proper to match his needs. Mark captured Jackson’s tongue between his teeth, bit down gently, then sucking the flesh with some force.

Mark decided he wanted something more and he wanted it _now_.

Jackson was still keeping his hand away from the one place Mark absolutely wanted to be touched, and because the anticipation was starting to boil over, Mark arched his body up, slid his hand down the taut muscles on Jackson’s back and down to his ass, groping it unceremoniously. Jackson grunted, but Mark could feel his mouth forming a grin even in the midst of the kiss. He knew he was getting hard just from this, but could anyone really blame him for it? Not really. Jackson was so mind-blowingly handsome and his hands were dancing on Mark’s skin like flames licking dry firewood.

Mark kneaded the flesh, relishing the feel thru the fabric. Jackson’s ass was just like he wanted; tight and small and fit to his hand perfectly. You could feel the hard muscles and imagine the hours Jackson had spent doing squats and power lifting to attain the present form. The mere idea of Jackson sweating during work out was somehow very irresistible. Also, the idea of Jackson sweating in different circumstances was very, _very_ , appealing to Mark. He pushed his hips up, meeting Jackson’s and let out a pleased breath of air into the kiss, when he realized he wasn’t the only one reacting to the contact of their bodies. The hardness pressing against him was enough to send shivers down his spine and after that, Mark wasn’t even trying to resist his need to get the remaining piece of fabric away from between them. He slid his hand under the waistband of Jackson’s pants and met just bare skin. Mark grinned, detaching his lips from Jackson.

“No underwear? You were sure something would happen?” Mark smirked, licking his lips and winking up at Jackson who was now looking down at him, slightly abashed.

“Says he who waltzed in here with nothing but a towel wrapped around him..” Jackson murmured, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and eyeing Mark with the most suggestive way it was possible. Something delicious churned in Mark’s stomach and he could feel how the blood gathered hotly down to his groin. “Not that I mind.” Jackson continued, a playful little grin drawing the corner of his mouth up. Suddenly Mark let out a surprised moan, when Jackson with a sudden move grind his pelvis against Mark’s, the pressure just right, the friction doing something amazing to Mark’s already blurry mind. He let out an open mouthed pant and closed his eyes, fingers pressing into the flesh of Jackson’s buttocks. He could hear the low laughter Jackson let out. Mark opened his eyes and almost hissed.

“Stop playing around, Jackson. I want you out of those pants. _Now_.” He nearly growled, but Jackson only let out a chuckle and obeyed.

“Yes, dear.” Jackson winked at Mark who moved from the edge of the bed to the middle, not caring how completely exposed he was like that, and leaned back to his both elbows for support. He watched with eager eyes how Jackson moved to stand beside the bed, dropping the pants quite nonchalantly and then crawled back to his prey. “Now, where were we..” Mark couldn’t help it; a high delighted giggle escaped his lips.

“We were going to get down to business.” Mark muttered, following Jackson lying down next to him onto his side. He leaned his head to his palm, the elbow propped on the mattress, blond hair tousled and pointing in different directions. Mark stared at Jackson’s face, the brown perfectly shaped eyes, the cheeks, the absolutely adorable nose and the plush lips with a quirky smile etched on them. His gaze wandered down to the chest, heaving with steady inhales and exhales, to the abs rippling under the skin and.. Mark bit down on his lip and reached to place his hand on Jackson’s hip, gripping it tight. From what they had done before, Mark knew how it felt to touch Jackson, but as they hadn’t gone this far it was all the more thrilling to be touching _all_ of Jackson, not just from waist up.

Mark didn’t hesitate to draw a line from the hip and straight down to the almost fully erected cock. He grabbed it firmly, delighting in the way Jackson took a sharp intake of air at the touch. Because they weren’t teenagers, and had had their fair share of sexual encounters in life, things were a bit easier to maneuver. Of course they were still unfamiliar with all the sweet spots, little tricks and kinks each of them had, but all the same; they knew what they were doing. Doing this as a virgin would have been more than a little embarrassing experience. Cute probably, but highly embarrassing.

Jackson didn’t stay motionless for long; he mimicked Mark quickly, and Mark was soon smiling widely at the touch of Jackson’s hand wrapping around his own member. Both had a firm but loose enough grip on each other, palms moving lazily up and down the hot flesh, turning it harder with each stroke. Mark was unable to hold it in him much longer; the sensation of being touched like this was washing over him like a wave of pure ecstasy. It had been a long time since someone had handled him in a situation like this. He leaned forward, stealing a sloppy kiss from Jackson’s lips and grunting as a jolt of pleasure spiked thru him when Jackson ran his thumb over the over-sensitive tip.

Jackson was breathing hard, his hand moving faster now, and Mark could hear the sharp intakes of air each time he managed to hit a spot that brought pleasure to Jackson. He tried to focus on what he was doing, but it was harder and harder the further the pumping hand on his cock moved. It had been so long Mark knew he wouldn’t last very long, even if he wanted to. He wanted to extend the moment, to really dwell in the pleasure and let the sea of intense ecstasy surround him more than a few hurried minutes blood red passion.

Human body is a marvelous instrument, Mark knew that. He wanted to learn to play with Jackson’s body, make him sing such notes of delirium it would make Mark blush just to hear them. He would have time, to learn such things; they had all the time in the world. But not right now. Right now the tension was too high, too present and too far gone for exploring all those little things that would matter in a steady relationship.

Mark faced Jackson, his lips open and the air moving from his mouth hot and sharp. He leaned in again, tracing Jackson’s lips with the tip of his tongue and then plunging in with force, his hold of Jackson tightening just enough to cause the blond to grunt loudly. But Jackson wasn’t born yesterday; he returned the kiss with equal eagerness, tongues battling for dominance, teeth clashing and biting down on the flesh. Jackson was so hot to touch, so willing, so wonderful and Mark was light headed with all the pleasure knocking all his restraints out of the way. He moaned shamelessly, muffled by the kiss, when Jackson hit one particular spot on the hard shaft and caused his body to thrust forward. He could feel the blood boiling inside him, gathering down to the pit of his stomach.

“Faster.” Mark let out a pitiful moan, sucking hard on Jackson’s lip before releasing it and returning to delve back inside that mouth he wanted to devour probably the rest of his life. Jackson needed no more suggesting; his hand sped up as commanded and Mark could see tiny white lights sparkling before his closed eyes. He was so immersed in his own pleasure he almost forgot to keep his own hand in motion, but when Jackson moved impatiently, he resumed the action. He slicked his fingers from the wetness on the tip and smeared it all around the now pulsing head. Mark earned a stifled curse from Jackson and smiled even in the middle of his own building ecstasy.

He could feel Jackson getting tighter and harder in his hand, the sensation pushing him towards the end of his own. Jackson pumped Mark a few times hard and with a strangled grunt Mark felt the hot liquid squirting out. A few seconds later Jackson repeated the action, low rumbling groan echoing from his lips. Both shivered, trembling. Mark kept his mouth glued to Jackson’s, breathing hard and fast. He detached himself just enough to plant very wet and exhausted kisses on the bruised lips and flushed cheeks.

“Well.. That was a good start.” Jackson laughed, his voice lower and more gruff than usual. Mark let out a breathless laughter and flopped on his back on the mattress.

“Do you.. Want to continue?” He wasn’t sure he was up for that anymore. The exhaustion was so prominent suddenly and having his pent up need released, Mark felt incredibly tired all of a sudden. But he would slap himself awake if Jackson wanted to.

“Mark.. I would love nothing more than to fuck with you until the dawn, which isn’t very far to be honest.. But I’m so tired.” Jackson sounded a bit sorry and Mark turned his head to look at him.

“It’s ok. I’m all in for sleeping too.” He reached over and took Jackson’s hand, squeezing the fingers reassuringly. “Don’t feel bad. We can continue later. You’re going to need all your wits about you when we get to the good part.” Mark grinned wickedly, despite his sluggish mood.

“Really? What are you going to do, ravish me all week long so I can’t even walk?” Jackson let out a breathless laughter, yawning majestically after that.

“Something along those lines.” Mark felt a smirk rising to his lips.

“Naughty..” Jackson laughed heartily. He shifted, yawned again and growled. “Guess we should clean up first.” He sat up, looked around him and moaned. “But I don’t feel like moving around more. Toss me towel, will you? I’ll just use that for this.. mess.” Jackson indicated around him. Mark chuckled, said nothing and pushed himself to a sitting position as well. He took the abandoned towel from the end of the bed but didn’t give it to Jackson. Instead Mark wiped the drying cum from his stomach and hands himself. It would have felt a bit embarrassing to let someone else wipe off such things. Jackson took the towel without a word, just smiled and cleaned himself.

“Jackson?” Mark suddenly spoke up, his thoughts moving slow and blurry. Jackson made a gruff noise, indicating he had heard. He was busy wriggling himself under the cover before he would completely freeze his ass off. Mark turned around, looked at him seriously and then crawled next to him, somehow managing to sneak under the blanket as well. “Hold me?” Mark finally said, looking at Jackson. He felt so incredibly happy right now. He was also feeling vulnerable for some reason and he wanted to be held right now, or he would start pouting outrageously. Reason for this was probably the lack of sleep.

“What’s wrong?” Jackson frowned slightly, resting on the bed, but opening his arms for Mark to cuddle close. Mark didn’t waste time getting there, curling himself up one arm over Jackson’s bare chest. “Seriously, Mark. Are you ok?” Jackson turned to his side, hugged Mark tight and pressed a few worried kisses on top of Mark’s head.

“I’m fine. Just really tired.” Mark muttered, unable to explain the feeling wallowing inside him. He licked his lips, trying to gather his thoughts. “I dunno. I’m just so happy and overwhelmed and tired and.. It’s all kinda jumbled up.”

“Hey, hey..” Jackson hushed at Mark, tightening his hold. “I’m happy too, you know. Don’t think too much, ok? I’m right here and we’re doing fine.” Jackson was quiet for a moment, just kept stroking Mark’s back slowly and reassuringly. “It’ll feel different after some sleep.” Mark snuggled his face to Jackson’s neck, kissed the surface and closed his eyes. The feeling of being safe and warm taking over the irrational vulnerability he had felt, evaporating it. “I will like the morning much better with you here beside me.” Jackson was yawning again, the words slurred and sleepy.

“Yeah. Me too.” Mark smiled cutely, blushed furiously, for no reason really, and then hugged Jackson so tight he heard him groan.

“Good. I’d kick you out of the bed if you said you’d hate it.” Jackson mumbled. He placed a small peck on Mark’s forehead. “Now sleep, you idiot.”

~

The next morning Mark woke up with something making constant rumbling noise somewhere close to his head. He scrunched up his nose and peered under his eyelids. All he could see was the gray light from behind the curtains and a lazily whipping furry tail. He yawned, not really thinking straight yet. Suddenly the purring sound came closer and something cold touched his cheek. Mark’s eyes flew open and his vision was filled with the curiously staring cat.

“Oh, come on..” Mark whispered, feeling stupid for startling so much. Nora glared at him unblinkingly, stepping closer, pressing her paw to Mark’s jaw. “Aw, honestly. You want something?” Mark wasn’t sure if this was a regular thing from the cat, or was she just being a nuisance, like most animals tended to be when their owners overslept.

“She wants food..” Jackson grumbled from under his blanket where he was cuddled under. He pushed the cover off of his head and glared at Nora who moved restlessly all over the place, not really sure which one them to annoy. “Get lost, I’ll get down in a minute.” Jackson waved at the cat, pushing her off the bed. She fell with a soft thump on the floor, looked behind her indignantly and let out a small demanding meow. “Honestly. I’m _so_ forcing JB to take her back.”

“She’s not yours?” Mark turned to his side, facing Jackson and allowing the warmth to cradle him back to a sleepy state.

“Not really. I’ve had her for two years now. Took her in because JB was in a slump after his wife died, not that I blame him of course, but now that he seems to be getting better..” Jackson stretched his arms above him and yawned. Mark smiled, watching with still half sleepy eyes at the sight next to him. Jackson was rubbing his face, pushing the messy hair from his eyes. His jaw was lined with a dark shadow, which made him look older, scruffier.

“You’d look so odd with a beard.” Mark said, half grinning. Jackson turned his head to stare at Mark.

“Well, that’s one way to start your morning.” He chuckled, tracing his chin lightly with his fingers. “I guess I would. Never been one to care much for that.” Jackson examined Mark’s face. Somehow Jackson’s eyes were lighter shade of brown now, after he had just woken up, not the deep dark chocolate, like last night. “You would look even more ridiculous with a beard. Do you even have a shade?” Jackson leaned closer, faking astonishment. “You’re such a girl, Mark. What are you, made of marble?”

“Stop it. Of course it grows. Not much, but it’s there. Must be my girly genes.” Mark snorted, flicking playfully a finger on Jackson’s forehead, making him wince. Nora’s louder, angrier, mewl could be heard from the door. “Your princess is calling. I think you should answer.” Mark grinned viciously. Jackson groaned, but got up.

“I’ll deal with you when I’m done feeding her.” Jackson shot a menacing glare at Mark, who simply sank lower under the blanket, waved happily at Jackson and blew him a cheeky little kiss.

~

Jackson took his time before getting back upstairs. In the mean while, Mark had managed to brush his teeth, shave off whatever there was to shave, and put on a shirt and boxers. When Jackson finally returned he was carrying a tray loaded with toast and a steaming pot of coffee in his hands and found Mark sitting on the bed, eyes fixed on his phone.

“Thought you’d like to have something.” Jackson’s smile was so endearing Mark felt his heart skipping a beat or two.

“I could’ve come downstairs you know.” Mark put the phone away from his hands. He felt a small pang of guilt for forcing Jackson to make him breakfast, but Jackson just waved Mark off after putting the tray down on the bed.

“I think I prefer the bed today.” Jackson winked, pouring the coffee. Mark felt a rush of happiness, the guilt fading as fast as it had come. It was so odd, to be treated like this. Not that his previous partners had been complete assholes, of course not, it was just strange how natural and nice this felt. Like they had already done this a million times before and it never would get old for them.

“Bed is preferable.” Mark gave Jackson a sheepish grin, before snatching a piece of toast for himself. It was still warm, slightly crispy and for some reason, it was the best toast he had ever had in his life. Then again, Mark might just be so hungry he could’ve eaten small rocks and say they were worth five Michelin stars. Long flight, long night and having some sexy time with his precious blond had definitely drained his energy away.

They ate in comfortable silence, occasionally talking about something rather indifferent. The atmosphere was however slightly off; it was like there was something lingering between them and making them dance around each other like cats in heat. After finishing off the coffee and settling the tray on the floor there was a pause, everything standing still. Like the air, and time itself, had frozen. Mark looked at Jackson, his blood boiling. Jackson was so extremely gorgeous like that. He always was. Hair pushed back, eyes keen, the loose shirt exposing his arms and a part of his chest when he was bent forward.

The intensity with what Jackson was looking at Mark was making his skin crawl, and not in bad way. The previous night had been good, but it had been fast and had left an opening for something a bit more than just jerking each other off. Something that had been waiting to happen since the moment they had met. Mark was clever enough to admit he had wanted Jackson since that fateful day he had gone to pick up things from Jinyoung’s house, and instead of things, he had found his fate standing on the stairs, wind whisking the blond hair. The way Jackson had smiled at Mark had been burned straight to his heart, it was still there and it would probably never leave. The pull he had towards Jackson was so strong, so prominent and always present, it was hard to act normal and not jump him any given moment.

“Stop doing that.” Jackson suddenly said, averting his eyes, a rosy color rising up to decorate his cheeks. He was fidgeting on the spot his sat, fumbling with the hem of his shirt.

“Doing what?” Mark raised an eyebrow, curious as to what exactly had made Jackson suddenly so shy and almost abashed.

“Sucking on your lips and looking at me like you’re going to eat me.” Jackson mumbled, his voice barely audible. Mark was quiet for a while, before he quite deliberately answered with a low smooth voice.

“I thought you wanted to be eaten.” He knew he could sound sultry, dark and tempting, and that was exactly what he was doing now; looking at Jackson under his brow, biting on his lower lip and releasing it slowly.

“Well..” Jackson’s voice trailed off as his eyes were glued to Mark, his cheeks tinged with even brighter blush now. Mark grinned victoriously. It had been ages since he had had the chance to pin someone down. Usually people took him impassive in bed and thought he wanted nothing but to receive. How wrong they were. Mark had all the dirty needs to fuck Jackson senseless, if he was given the chance. And such chance had come, it seemed, the silence was screaming with agreement on that.

“Enough said. Jackson, shut up and lie down.” Mark’s impish grin was way too wide and way too eager. But Jackson didn’t seem to mind. He laid himself down and cocked one eyebrow expectantly, his shyness apparently dismissed. Mark needed no more permission; he crawled on top of Jackson, crabbed a fistful of hair, leaning down and kissing him rough and hard. Jackson tasted like toothpaste, like coffee and toast. It was familiar, cozy and safe, something you taste with someone you only have time for lazy mornings like this one.

Jackson draped his arms around Mark’s waist, pulling him down to his chest. His response to the kiss left no reason to second guess his mood; Mark could feel how tense the whole body was under him, how good it felt to know you weren’t the only one with horny teenager thoughts. He was half hard already, because it was enough to think naughty things and watch Jackson. Mark pressed his hips down, grinding his evident desire against Jackson. He grinned suddenly, feeling the same kind of stiffness rubbing against him in response. The morning was definitely progressing just right.

Jackson suddenly opened his legs, bending his knees and Mark fell in between the spread legs, the angle and pressure increasing and a wave of pleasure coursing thru his whole body. The kiss broke off and Mark was left gasping for air and staring down at Jackson’s face. How incredibly tempting he looked like that, head resting on the mattress, hair everywhere and eyed shut close, lips parted and moist. Mark moved a bit higher, leaning down to press gentle kisses to Jackson’s eyes. He felt the eyelashes tickling his lips softly, how the eye moved under moved under the lid. Jackson was warm and tough, shy and bold, and Mark adored every goddamn inch of him.

He kissed his way from the eyes to Jackson’s ear, biting down on the lobe and tugging it with his teeth.

“I want you.” Mark’s hot whisper was a simple one, but dear lords in heaven, did he mean it. His blood was like lava, boiling and flowing down to his groin and making it painfully obvious what he wanted, if the words didn’t already manage to convey that.

“Yeah.” Jackson’s groan could’ve meant anything, but he turned his head enough to find Mark’s lips again and suck them into a fierce kiss that certainly spoke in volumes of agreement. Jackson’s hands slid down Mark’s back and down to the boxers, reaching the small ass and pressing his fingers down to knead the muscles. Mark pushed his hips down, the friction eliciting low groans from each of them in the process. He could’ve continued grinding down against Jackson for hours, it felt so incredibly good, but other things needed attention as well, before they would get to the serious business.

Detaching himself from the blissful kiss, Mark sat up. He was motionless for a moment, before he deliberately slowly removed his shirt, revealing his upper body inch by inch, and then tossed it aside. Jackson was looking up at him with hungry eyes and licking his lips. Mark smirked, leaned down and placed his hands on the waistband of Jackson’s sweatpants and started to pull them down. Jackson seemed to have no objections about this as he lifted his hips and straightened his legs so that the clothing could be discarded completely. Mark threw the fabric away and inhaled slowly. Jackson was absolutely fuckable right now.

Mark leaned down and kissed the pale chest. He moved with confidence down the abs and the trail leading down to southern parts of Jackson he hadn’t tasted before. The hard member loomed before his eyes, the tip swollen, dark and radiating heat. Mark wasted very little time on just being a tease; he kissed the tip, earning a hiss of surprise from up above, and continued to trail a wet path down the pulsing surface. He came back up, just hovering over the hot skin, breathing on it. Jackson twitched noticeably. Smiling, Mark sucked the cock in his mouth with a quick and smooth move, hollowing his cheeks enough to create pressure.

Jackson bucked his hips up and grunted, fists balling the sheet under him.

While Jackson was enjoying being sucked on, Mark had time to let his hands roam freely over the tightening muscles all over the stomach. He absolutely loved Jackson’s stomach. It was flat, hard and the shape of his abs was clearly visible. Mark let out the hardness from his mouth with a loud popping sound, the surface glistening with saliva. He glanced up at Jackson who had his eyes closed and was breathing unevenly.

“Do you have anything?” Mark’s voice was a bit husky now, having throated a while something bigger than food into his mouth. Jackson shook his head to shake off the pleasure slowing him down and reached for his night table. He fished out a blue tube and tossed it to Mark. “You sure you’re ok with this?” Mark shot a slightly worried look at his companion, wanting to be perfectly sure it was ok for him to top. If Jackson would say no, or there was any hint of uncertainty, Mark would comply and let Jackson reverse the position. However it wasn’t needed. Jackson looked straight at Mark, his eyes now dark with lust.

“Fuck me.” Jackson nearly growled. Mark couldn’t help it; the grin that spread to his lips was probably too incredulous to be proper. He popped the cork open and smeared some of the cold translucent gel on his fingers. Then he leaned down, took Jackson back in his mouth and gave him a few deep sucks, earning a throaty moan. The lubed fingers slipped down the crack of Jackson’s ass, searching for the entrance. Mark made sure he was giving Jackson slow and torturous blows when he began to push the first finger inside. Jackson’s breath audibly hitched and his body tensed. Mark waited a while, giving Jackson time to adjust before he began again, slowly easing in. The first finger was always the easiest; it didn’t hurt, merely felt unusual for a while.

Jackson spread his legs wider, giving Mark easier access. The second finger inserted caused Jackson to hiss quietly, his insides contracting. Mark gave it another small pause, then thrust inside harder, his tongue playing on the hole on the tip of Jackson’s cock. Jackson gave out a low humming sound, his body arching and pushing down to meet the entering digits. Mark smiled, planting a kiss on the tip. He retracted his fingers and Jackson growled at him for that. Mark chuckled, added more lube on his fingers and began to work three inside at the same time. This time Jackson’s reaction was more on violent side; he jerked first, then tensed and cursed. Mark knew it hurt, especially if there had been some time since the previous penetration, but he tried to be patient and careful, despite his own growing need for some kind of touching. He was still wearing his boxers and they were increasingly starting to be in the way. But it wouldn’t be too long now. Slowly, extremely slowly Mark eased the fourth in. He didn’t get very far before Jackson was almost sobbing. He stopped, looked up and saw Jackson biting his lip hard, face scrunched up. A pang of fear shot thru Mark’s heart seeing that. Without removing his hand, Mark moved so that he was face to face, hovering over Jackson.

“Just breathe.” Mark tried to sound soothing. He nuzzled his nose to Jackson’s cheek, planting small pecks on the now rosy skin. He wished Jackson would relax, let the tension drain from him, but it wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Jackson didn’t reply, he just inhaled deeply, clutched the blanket under him with one hand, while the other was holding Mark’s shoulder, nails digging into the skin almost painfully. Gradually Jackson seemed to relax, the muscles around Mark’s fingers loosening and he moved carefully forward. With his free hand Mark reached between their bodies, fished out his own, now painfully hard member, and brought it and Jackson’s cock together, rubbing the two shafts up and down hard. This brought Jackson back to thrusting his hips up and the moment of pain subsiding, hidden under the waves of pleasure.

For a few moments it seemed like both of them could come from just that. But Mark had other plans; he withdrew the fingers, let the stroking halt and sat up. He was getting breathless himself and watching Jackson wasn’t making it any easier. He bit down on his lip and took a deep breath, steadying himself. Jackson opened his eyes after a while, and the look he gave to Mark was close to smoldering. He didn’t say anything, any said words in this situation would sound just corny and awkward, he just got up from his resting place. Jackson tilted his head to his side, examining Mark for a while, then reached down to the boxers Mark was still wearing. He cocked one eyebrow. Hint taken Mark grinned and wriggled out of the pants.

Visibly satisfied smirk on his face Jackson suddenly plunged down and quite out of nowhere took Mark’s neglected cock into his mouth, sucking it so hard Mark nearly cried out. He could feel his mind blurring the moment those soft lips wrapped around him. Utter, fucking, bliss. Jackson definitely knew what he was doing. His tongue moved up and down, lavishing the burning skin with wet licks, lips kissing the surface and the tip with sloppy kisses. He engulfed the whole throbbing shaft suddenly and Mark felt the tip touching Jackson’s throat. His mind went almost white with ecstasy.

Jackson withdrew himself after a while, leaving Mark weak and panting and needing for much, much more. He leaned his hands to the mattress, shaking. Damn. He could do this all day long. Mark shifted, almost impatiently. Jackson licked his lips nervously and took the discarded blue tube in his hand, fiddling with it a while, before the cork flew open with a sharp snap. Mark raised one eyebrow questioningly, not really believing what he was seeing.

“Are you going to ride me?” His voice was hoarse and gruff, the lust evident in his tone. Mark was pretty sure Jackson wasn’t even close being boring in bedroom, but to take up on this on the first time? He made a mental note that Jackson was definitely naughtier than he gave out.

“I doubt you have anything against it.” Jackson muttered, shivering visibly. Mark said nothing, just swallowed hard. Did he have something against this? Fuck no. The plummeting feeling inside him doubled with just the image of Jackson going up and down on him, it was enough for Mark to forget how to talk at all. Jackson didn’t look at Mark when he crawled closer and climbed over Mark’s outstretched legs, positioning himself to his lap. Mark tried his best not shamelessly moan, when the cold liquid hit the hot skin of his cock as Jackson slowly spread the lube all over it. The nimble fingers worked relentlessly all over, making sure no spot was left without. Then the bottle was tossed away and Jackson raised his hips. Mark reached between them and took a firm hold on the base of his own member to give it some support for the process, enclosing Jackson’s cock in his other hand at the same time.

Slowly the blond sat down, the tip easing thru the tight rim and plunged into the heat. Mark moved his hand on Jackson’s shaft firmly, providing him the small escape from the pain with some pleasure. Jackson was so tight, so hot and he squeezed around Mark so hard it was a small miracle he didn’t come right there and then. Jackson’s breathing was strained, his face scrunched up in determined concentration as he kept going down until he was filled to the hilt. They sat there a while, not moving, just breathing in hard and with ragged breaths. Mark had one arm now around Jackson’s waist, his face buried to his shoulder, breathing slowly thru his nose and trying to think anything but the incredible sensation clutching to him. Jackson draped his arms around Mark’s shoulders, supporting himself, his heaving chest leaning against Mark heavy.

When the danger of premature finishing faded, Mark moved under Jackson, just slightly tilting his hips up by tightening his abdomen. Jackson let out a gasp, his mouth opening. He was so incredible to hold. Mark let his fingers trail up and down the cock in his hand, twirling circles on the tip and smearing the transparent liquid around. Jackson hummed low and seemed to relax. He raised his hips and lowered himself back down a few times tentatively, adjusting to the piercing object inside him, but the expression he had was far from pain and suffering. It was a face filled with need and fervor and Mark was eager to please his partner.

From this position it was hard for him to do much but to enjoy the view and relish the way Jackson was letting out quiet pants when he moved with slow, almost agonizingly hesitant speed. If it had been the other way around Mark would have probably been keen on a bit harder pace, but these things took time to get used to and he wasn’t going to rush Jackson just because he wanted to fuck him senseless this instant. So he let his hand wander on Jackson’s back, smooth over the slightly sweaty skin, massage the stiff neck gently. He kept up a languid, but constant, pumping motion all the while Jackson was still adjusting on being filled.

When Jackson finally seemed to relax enough Mark decided he wanted to change the angle. Not that there was anything at all wrong with this particular one, he just felt the need to do something a bit more. With both hands he took a firm hold on Jackson’s hips and leaned down to lay himself down on the bed. Now Mark was looking up at Jackson who was staring down at him, eyes huge and questioning. Mark reached up, took Jackson’s hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the fingers softly. This was better for Mark; could see every expression Jackson would make while they were connected, he could observe if he wanted to, like the little pervert he was, how he was stretching Jackson’s ass open and how he was buried deep inside him.

Jackson seemed to enjoy the slight change in the angle as his body twitched and Mark could feel the heat surrounding him tightening. If Jackson would keep still a little longer Mark would lose the last restraints he had. Mark placed his hands on Jackson’s thighs, just to have his hands full. Then he started to move. The first thrusts he aimed inside were slow and unhurried. Jackson made again that humming sound, which was the best music Mark had ever heard, and closed his eyes, biting his lip. Mark loved the sight even more when he increased the speed, slamming up a few times almost hard; Jackson’s mouth fell open and a silent Ah formed on his lips. It only fuelled Mark’s lust more and he almost forgot he was supposed to take his time and not speed up dramatically so soon.

“Ng..h..” Jackson’s voice was like honey, dripping slowly down to reach Mark’s ears. Mark almost wished Jackson was louder, to hear him let out all the grunts and pants and moans, but he wasn’t any better in that aspect, so he didn’t seem it fair to even ask. Mark had never been too vocal, not in daily life nor in bed. He was quiet, yes, but it had never stopped him from being active. When Jackson moved up Mark used the opportunity to slightly bend his knees, giving him some leverage. As the narrow hips came down Mark thrust up and the skin slamming against skin created definitely lewd slapping sound. Heat pulsed thru Mark’s body like a spasm of electricity when Jackson let out a moan of pure pleasure. _That_ was what he wanted to hear. It sent sizzling thrill crawling all over Mark’s skin.

The repeated sound of flesh against flesh filled the room, accompanied with escaping moans and groans, the blanket shuffling under then. Mark was seeing stars, his guts twisting and turning with jolts of bliss each time he moved inside the tight cavern. Jackson was breathing hard by now, his skin glistening under the faint sheen of sweat the act caused him. The intensity was causing Mark’s mind go blank and he couldn’t help his eyes closing, even if he wanted to watch Jackson all the time. He felt the strong thighs under his palms tightening and relaxing as Jackson kept up the steady rhythm. Mark was fascinated by those legs; he could spend a day just looking at the way the joints and muscles moved when Jackson was walking. He had muscles as well, of course, but never these powerful, strong ones like Jackson did.

Mark didn’t have time to keep his eyes closed for too long when he felt Jackson changing his position. The blond leaned down, resting his elbows on either side of Mark now, his face bent low and the silvery hair tickling Mark’s chin. Something warm pooled inside Mark, something not connected with the lust that was more evident in his mind; it was softer, much gentler feeling. He wanted to hug Jackson and press him close to his chest, keep him there and tell him there would be nothing but rainbows and sunshine in the future.

The change in the position gave Mark a new angle to work with and thrust up into Jackson with a sharp stab. Jackson let out a shuddering moan and jolted visibly. Mark grinned. He aimed again up, searching for the same spot he had just hit. Jackson seemed to stiffen, his whole body tensing, hips jerking down to meet Mark’s. And the indecent, muffled, soft moans Jackson was letting out? Mark loved every one of those. Just hearing that kind of noise was making his mind dizzy with rapture and his insides clenched harder, the blood pooling south and down to his abdomen. Mark kept up a relentless fast pace until Jackson wasn’t able to keep his lips sealed no longer; he let out a clear ecstatic and throaty groan which was enough to push Mark almost over the edge. Jackson was driving him absolutely wild just being so open and receptive.

Even if Mark described himself quiet in bed he was unable to keep the passionate moan escaping his mouth when Jackson quite deliberately clenched around him and sat down so hard Mark was sure he would melt inside the heat. Deciding to pay back the dirty little trick, Mark sneaked a hand between their sweaty stomachs and grabbed Jackson’s already leaking cock in his hand, palming the tip before wrapping his long fingers around the pulsing shaft, pumping it hard.

“S-shit..” Jackson cursed, his head snapping up, the feverish look is his eyes almost burning hole thru Mark’s head. Mark couldn’t help the vicious grin spreading on his lips. His wild and untamed angel was seriously too much for him to handle. “If you don’t fuck me hard now I swear I will scream.” Jackson growled almost angry. The words sunk in and Mark’s mind went blank.

“Beg for it.” Mark slowed down his grinding, eliciting a frustrated grunt from Jackson. He pulled out almost completely, then returned inside so slowly Jackson was almost in tears from anticipation. Mark rolled his hips up, circling his moves. Jackson’s eyes fluttered close. It was hard to keep the teasing pace when all Mark wanted to do was to jab up and push on like there was no tomorrow.

“Come on…” Jackson whined, his tone desperate and he tried to move on his own but Mark kept evading from better touching range. Jackson looked at Mark finally, biting his lip hard. He inched higher and leaned down, hovering over Mark’s parted lips, his breathing hot and ragged. “Please..” Jackson’s tongue flickered out and trailed over Mark’s lips, the touch almost trembling. Mark was half tempted to say no, but the way Jackson suddenly kissed him, blew those thoughts away quite fast. He gave in, closing his eyes. Mark responded to the kiss without thinking much anymore; he tilted his head to the side, lips parted wide open and tongue dipping deep into Jackson’s ready mouth. While their lips were busy devouring each other, Mark moved his both hands to Jackson’s ass and groped the tight buttocks hard, spreading them open even more. He bent his knees and then pounded up like the world was going to end.

Jackson almost wailed into the kiss, his body jerking down to meet Mark’s thrusts. Mark really, really wanted to blurt out something stupid right now. Something like “It’s so good. Oh god Jackson you’re so fucking good” or anything of the sort. But no words were able to come out of his mouth at the moment. He could feel Jackson’s slick cock trapped between their clenching stomachs. It was such an erotic feeling, quite vulgar to be honest, but dear lord did it fuel him even more.

Jackson wasn’t even trying to be quiet anymore. Each thrust Mark did Jackson was making a sound of pure delirium, driving Mark even closer to his release with that. When Jackson bit down on Mark’s lip and clenched around him so tight Mark saw the sudden white light bursting inside his head and a soft gasp of bliss escaped his mouth. The ecstasy was shooting thru his entire body like an arrow and he released himself inside Jackson, heart hammering and air squeezing out of his lungs. Jackson followed suit after a few more trembling thrusts, spilling his seed between them, leaving the sweaty skin sticky and rather unpleasant.

Jackson collapsed on Mark like a heavy ragdoll, hiding his face to the side of Mark’s head. Mark was too far gone in his bliss to care much that they were messy and dirty. He just hugged Jackson close to his chest, wallowing in the pleasure that was thrumming inside him so deliciously, every part of him wrapped in that rapture of climaxing hard. They stayed like that a long while, until the heat cooled down. Jackson rolled off of Mark, wincing as the softened cock slid out of his ass.

“You’re a horrible tease, aren’t you.” Jackson muttered, peering under one eyelid at Mark, not really expecting an answer.

“You dislike it?” Mark’s voice was still breathless, like he had run a marathon. His chest was heaving and he wanted to drag himself to shower but if he tried to move now his legs probably would give out under him.

“Not one bit.” Jackson grinned, the satisfaction clear on his face. He rubbed his eyes and stretched his arms high above him. “This is how I’d like to start every morning. A good fuck. Are you sure you have to go back so soon?” Jackson shot a pouty face at Mark.

“I’m sorry, I think I have to.” Mark was quiet for a while. “It’s not healthy for you to have something good every single day.” Mark grinned. “You might get bored with me.”

“Like hell I could do that.” Jackson grunted, obviously serious. “I don’t think you’re gonna get rid of me that easily.”

“Good. I wasn’t planning on that.” Mark smiled, rolled to his side and leaned down to kiss Jackson, trying to convey his feelings with the kiss instead of words. He had no intention of letting Jackson go. Not anymore. He was falling, and he was falling fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it's cheesy and awful and somethingsomething, right. :'D But I bet you didn't expect a bottom Jackson ;) I love it. Mark should top more often. Buuut~ Knowing my style they'll end up being versatile. 
> 
> Let's see what I come up for the next chapter. Oh yes, there's still more to come.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! ^^ And I love all the kudos and everything! Leave a comment or something, it will give me strength to go on~ Chu! <3
> 
> Edit. This just went over 2000 hits and I'm like crying here because of it. THANK YOU FOR READING!


	9. Obstacles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is considerably shorter, but for a reason. I'll leave you to it..

**Los Angeles**

The usually calm and collected Mark Tuan seemed to be pissed. It didn’t show much on his face, except that there was a faint line of annoyance between his brows. He was tapping the table with his fingers irritably, chewing on the insides of his cheeks and glaring at the computer screen with such hostility it was almost burning a hole thru it. Jinyoung had been quietly observing his friend for a while now, his own thoughts occupied with his own set of problems. He sat on a chair opposite of Mark, the desk between them and the office quiet. Only the soft buzz of talk floated in; the students talking outside the shut door as they walked down the brightly lit corridor.

“What’s eating you?” Jinyoung finally asked Mark, after Mark had let out a long, almost desperate sigh. Mark looked up at his friend, almost surprised to see him sitting there, the dark circles under his eyes more prominent from that angle.

“Jackson and I fought.” Mark grunted, his mouth twisting into an ugly grimace.

“About..?” Jinyoung tried to egg Mark on. Sometimes it was so damn hard to get answers out of him.

 “He wasn’t very pleased with me. He saw that video we recorded last week at the fundraiser event, and after seeing that, he accused me of being a bit too free with my attention to other people.” Mark pressed his hands over his face and rubbed his temples, exhausted and leaned heavily back in his chair. Jinyoung examined Mark with one eyebrow high. To be fair, Jackson was a bit easy to get jealous, but.. Then again Mark _was_ very touchy when he was excited and he didn’t seem to think twice who he was touching. Jinyoung wondered if he should just tell Mark this, or should he save it for a safer time, when Mark wasn’t prone to aim a kick at him for it.

“Ah..” Jinyoung sighed. He did feel pity for the situation, even if he understood why it was possible for it to happen. “Well, if it makes you feel better JB and I’m in no better situation. I mean, we didn’t fight, but he was supposed to come here this week. “Jinyoung grimaced now himself, the memory of that particular conversation still burning unpleasantly in his mind. “He had to cancel because Sophie got sick.” Jinyoung felt like someone was twisting his insides, snuffing out the happiness until he had nothing left. It just seemed so unfair that he had to wait.

“Must be difficult, to manage things like that.” Mark’s tone was compassionate. Jinyoung knew he could relate to the situation, even if Mark and Jackson didn’t have a kid complicating things in between.

“You have no idea.” Jinyoung let out an exasperated snort. “It's always going to be me who has to give in. And frankly, for the moment, I’m too busy to do so. The next opportunity will be next Autumn when I visit Seoul and JB’s going to be there as well.” He rubbed his eyes, suddenly extremely tired. “I mean I do care for him, more than I probably sometimes wanted to, and I love Sophie as well.. But.” He left the sentence hanging, fixing his eyes on the small cracks of the table.

“I know. It’s absolutely shitty.” Mark’s fingers were dancing on the hard surface again, the noise steady, irritating and getting on Jinyoung’s nerves. “I don’t know how to fix the situation. I can’t just go over there to talk things over with him, and he’s avoiding me right now anyway.” Jinyoung wanted to slap Mark’s hand. The tapping noise was so infuriating, but he kept his mouth shut. “Getting pissy over something like that..” Mark huffed, crossing his bare arms over his chest, growling. Jinyoung sighed in relief when the silence spread all over the room. “Like I don’t feel like a fool when I get jealous of him seeing that fuckhead every single day at work.” Mark kicked his desk, apparently angry. “And I can’t _do_ anything! I’m so busy I can barely see my own bed. One of my teachers suddenly left and I have to fill in her place until I find someone to take over.”

“Pretty damn awkward situation, I agree. I admire your patience, even if you are letting some of the steam out now.” Jinyoung raised his brows at the smile Mark offered him in response. “What’s so funny?”

“You saying that I’m patient. You know how much it eats me that I’m unable to scream and shout and kick innocent bystanders when Jackson irritates the hell out of me? I mean.. I’m head over heels with that idiot, but there are times when even I lose all reason.” Mark looked at Jinyoung, his eyes hard and penetrating. It was rare to see him like this, so agitated and irked. It would do good for him, in the end. Jinyoung was sure the two would manage to fix things in no time. He knew for sure that Jackson wouldn’t be able to hold his anger in for very long, before he would want to confront Mark. But Mark on the other hand could evade solving the problem for a long time.

“Should I be worried?” Jinyoung half-heartedly joked, discarding his thoughts of meddling in Mark and Jackson’s quarreling, deciding that joking about the situation would be better for now. “You’re not going to jump me are you, to get back at Jackson?”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Mark wrinkled his nose and shot Jinyoung a surprisingly disgusted look. “You're handsome and all but first, you’re not really my type and two, JB would beat me into pulp if I laid a finger on you.”

“I’m hurt. You don’t find me appealing at all.”Jinyoung faked a stab in the heart and clutched his chest with both hands. “You are a cruel man Mark Tuan. But I like you anyway.”

“Your sense of humor is so horrible sometimes, you know that?” Mark rolled his eyes, but finally seemed a little less tense and smiled faintly.

“True, I am.” Jinyoung nodded, serious. “And you would get your ass kicked royally if you did something to me. Jaebum's such a brute sometimes.” Jinyoung suddenly grinned wickedly. “You have no idea how incredibly inventive and sexy he is when..” Mark stuck fingers in his ears, his cheeks burning.

“La la la! I do _not_ want to hear about your sex life nor any of dirty details of it!” Mark’s expression of pure horror was so hilarious Jinyoung couldn’t help but to burst out laughing.

~

They had had a quick lunch together and after that Jinyoung had to leave, Mark having his hands full on classes and paperwork. The day was absolutely stunning; sun shining, the wind gentle and people passing him by smiling and joyous. So why was he the only one to feel like crap? Despite having his worries voiced out to Mark, Jinyoung wasn’t any happier he had been since the moment JB had informed him that he wouldn’t make it to L.A. like they had planned.

The mere memory scorched his guts. He wanted to do something about this all, but here he was, helpless and frustrated about the ocean and miles separating him from the man he ached to see. He wasn’t jealous, not in the real sense of it, but he did feel irrational negativity clutching to him like a bad song stuck in your head for days. He couldn’t blame JB for putting his descendant before someone he was just barely in a relationship with.

But it still hurt.

It hurt like needles prickling your skin. Like a cat kneading your thighs with too much force. It was like hell to dwell in the misery of being rejected. At least it felt like a rejection to him. Jinyoung frowned, passing by the stores and people, not paying attention to any of it. He reprimanded himself in steady intervals that it wasn’t normal to be jealous of a child and that he should just be patient, not the gloomy bag of shit he resembled more these days.

April was reaching them already, the days sunny and bright as they always were. It was moderately warmer than when he had returned home from his life-changing journey, and Jinyoung stuck his hands in his jeans pockets, strolling down the street his head swimming in dark oceans of misery, a hard contrast to the scenery surrounding him. He didn’t see the women looking after him with curiosity twinkling in their eyes. He didn’t notice the appreciative glances from occasional guys when he passed them by. He looked good, but he was so absorbed in his own small bubble to react on anything right now. Only news, good news, from England would bring him out of this state.

It had been almost four months since he had seen Jaebum the last time. They talked almost daily over the internet, be it on Skype or on a messenger of any sort, they just took the time to say at least a few things when they managed a free moment. First it had been a constant flow of words. After departing from London, Jinyoung had been in a sorrowful but mainly good mood. He had been hopeful and life seemed to have nothing but good things to offer. As the time passed by, it became harder and harder to keep that particular feeling dominating the darker emotions lurking under the surface.

He missed JB sometimes so much it hurt. Jinyoung wanted to curl up in a fetal position and gasp for air; the longing to be near the other cradling him tightly, almost desperately. It was torment to be apart for so long and there was very little he could do to change that. Unlike at Christmas, Jinyoung wasn’t in any position to leave his work behind. He had two new albums to work with and the artists and composers kept him so busy he had forgotten what it was to have a moment of peace. Or what it was to sleep without his hand ready to pick up the phone, if it so much as vibrated.

Jinyoung could wake up at night and find himself hugging a pillow to his chest, only to push it away in disgust. He wasn’t going to admit he missed sleeping with JB so much he was considering on buying one of those boyfriend-pillows to keep him happier during the night. Admitting something like that would be embarrassing and very out of character. Though he would never have to actually _tell_ anyone if he would happen to purchase such an item for his own comfort..

He sat down on a bench facing the shore and let his eyes rest on the waves pushing on to the warm sand. He took a deep breath, allowing himself a moment to think of nothing, as hard it was to push all the thoughts and emotions away. He felt cooler, clear-headed even, with the wind sweeping his face, caressing the worried frown on his brow. Jinyoung relaxed, shaking the tension off of his shoulders. It wasn’t easy, doing this. They had known what it was going to be like, to have nothing but time to wallow in unpleasant thoughts when the being apart would stretch too long. Jinyoung sighed, pursing his lips.

At least he trusted JB in this. He knew there was no chance of anyone snatching JB from him, even if he sometimes wondered would the man be happier with a woman in his life again. Jinyoung felt sorry for Mark. He knew the situation wasn’t developing very well, if Jackson was already flipping over something as small as seeing Mark hugging other people. Jinyoung knew Mark, and knew he was faithful no matter what the situation would be, but Jackson didn’t know. He had no idea what a loyal friend Mark was, how kind and sweet soul he had always been. How Mark took care of others without a word, never expecting anyone to notice his quiet tending.

Jinyoung wished he could talk to Jackson and tell him that he should trust Mark. But going and telling Jackson that.. Would it really help anything? Wasn’t it better for Jackson to realize these things on his own and then feel mighty ashamed of his harsh words? Maybe it was better to keep out of the affairs of others and let them be. If the situation would degenerate, then he _would_ step in. He cared for Mark a lot, and he didn’t want to see him hurt, no matter how much he liked Jackson.

Jackson.. Jinyoung smiled gently, pushing his black hair away from his eyes. He was a wonder, to be quite frank. They had kept in touch after the whole exchange thing and Jinyoung found himself quite helplessly liking the man even if he was sometimes a bit too much to handle. All credits to Mark, again. Jackson was so talkative and he had many questions, to most Jinyoung never got the chance to answer when the blond was already talking about something else. Jackson was exhausting sometimes to listen to, but he was heartwarming, caring, sweet and unexpectedly good with advising when asked a question.

It was impossible to hate him. The bright smile Jackson flashed was enough to evaporate any dark clouds and his laughter certainly lifted your mood.

Just thinking about Jackson, and his high-pitched laughter, brought a wide smile on Jinyoung’s lips. He let out a small breathy laughter and got up from the bench. He would deal with his dilemma of not seeing JB for quite some time. Autumn wasn’t so far after all, just a few more months and he would meet his brightly smiling lover in Seoul. And ravish his ass, no matter where they were, all week long.

~

Mark was massaging his temples, breathing in slowly. His day was about to end, thank goodness for that. It had been vexing and troublesome throughout the day, and all Mark wanted now was to go home and sleep. Having full classes was a perfect thing of course, it was what kept him in business and the money coming in, and even if he was in great shape physically, Mark wasn’t going to last very long if he had to do double, or triple, classes each day and at the same time handle the paperwork. He needed to find a new teacher and he would need to do so fast.

The last hour or so, after all the remaining people had finally left the building, he had been typing a notice for an open position in the studio. He had to get it out there as soon as possible or he would never have a date with his bed again. The mere idea of having weeks on end the same schedule as he had had the past week? Mark shuddered. He loved what he was doing, certainly, but too much stress would wreck him completely in no time. He needed someone young, someone qualified to handle a course for teens and up; a person who had some imagination and personality. Person who would be able to come up the material for classes without Mark having to design them. In other words, a super-human would be preferred, but Mark would accept a really talented dancer without blinking twice. If only one would just turn up.

A few clicks and taps, and then it was out there. Mark wished fervently someone would call him tomorrow, or email him during the night, anything basically would be preferable, so that he would be free to aim his thoughts on the matter he was most worried about. The matter that made his insides twist unpleasantly every time his thoughts reached that particular subject.

Jackson.

Mark winced. He knew he was avoiding on being online anywhere; it was what he did when he was faced with a problem he didn’t know an answer to. He didn’t want to hear more accusations or confront Jackson, and Jackson had been unusually quiet as well. Mark had thought Jackson would be the kind of a person who would come straight out if he had something pressing on his mind. But maybe he had been wrong, or maybe it was just because of Mark. He was used to finding messages waiting for him from Jackson all thru the day, and they cheered him up tremendously, but now.. Nothing. It was odd, having nothing new to smile at, nothing new to send an answer to. After the bickering over Skype about Mark being too friendly with other people, they hadn’t talked at all.

That was four days ago and Mark was getting really uneasy.

It gnawed his guts, knowing he had done _something_ to upset Jackson, but he wasn’t exactly sure if Jackson was reacting to this for nothing. Mark was faintly aware he had a habit of jumping people when he was elated and giddy, but to get offended over something like that? Wasn’t Jackson just overreacting? Mark didn’t go touching people with any intentions on his mind and he always refused all advances made towards him and told he wasn’t available any longer. Should Jackson be around to see all this might have made the situation easier, but.. As it was what it was, there was no other way to get thru this than to trust the other party to behave.

Mark certainly wanted to trust Jackson. He liked him, more than that probably, and he wanted to think there was no one else on Jackson’s mind but Mark. He was slightly skeptical though, to believe in rosy and easy future as life very rarely turned out to be like in storybooks. And arguing with Jackson like this, and so early in their relationship, proved him right to be wary. Not that he didn’t want to believe in happiness and fairies and rainbows over the fields, of course he did. But it was easier to think worse things in this state of mind where everything made him jumpy and irked.

The office was quiet, almost eerie. Mark leaned back in his chair his gaze sweeping over the chairs, the posters on the wall, the shelves and neatly arranged files and books, the few trophies from various competitions, the group pictures of people smiling brightly. He didn’t want to think right now, his train of thought too gloomy for his taste. His eyes caught the bright pink tank top Jackson mailed him last month. The package had contained the shirt and a letter with too many silly stickers and hearts drawn on it, Mark had the letter hidden and safe at home, along with the words “This is just right for you” attached to the shirt. He liked the top; it was absolutely outrageous color but for some godforsaken reason it suited him like a glove. Wearing it had earned him more than a few amused giggles and laughs from his students, but Mark didn’t mind those; he loved the shirt because it was a gift from Jackson.

Now, seeing it, made Mark’s stomach drop and his feeling of dread increased the moment his eyes landed on the fabric. He really ought to talk with Jackson. Maybe he should just apologize, tell him that he didn’t realize he was acting like a fool and that Jackson meant the world to him. No one else but Jackson. But first he would have to reach Jackson. Mark sighed, tapping the table surface with his fingers. He was restless and he should be on his way home already. He idly wondered if he should call Jackson, but glancing at the time he realized Jackson was already at work and wouldn’t probably pick up even if he wanted to. Having to carry this worry with him was draining him more than the hours spent at the studio and getting exhausted physically.

Mark’s phone vibrated softly on the desk, informing him of an incoming mail.

He picked up the phone, hoping against all hope it was from Jackson, but no such luck for Mark today. Glancing at the small screen and looking at the email he realized it was from someone he didn’t recognize. Maybe it might was an answer to his post. A bit fast, but it _was_ possible, wasn’t it? People could have already read it, even if it was already practically night time and all normal people were getting ready to sleep, not hanging around at their offices and mourning about the complicated this happening in their lives. Sighing out loud, Mark clicked the mail open, imaging to see a CV or something or that sort. Boy, was he wrong.

What Mark saw, when he clicked open the attachments on that email, made his face turn white. His head was spinning, his vision blurring and he wanted to vomit. He dropped the phone on the table, like it burned his fingers. This could not be true. No. It just couldn’t be. It wasn’t true, it had to be a trick of some kind. Mark picked up the phone again, glancing horrified at the files. He wanted to turn back the time, go back a few minutes and never open this email. It was like someone had stabbed him with a knife, straight to his heart and was now twisting and turning the blade in there, just out of cheer malice.

Three pictures. One with Jackson and the guy Mark had kicked back in December, hugging and laughing together. The second with Jackson and the same guy, this time Jackson blushing, his eyes cast down and lips curled up to a smile and the other man kissing his cheek. Third one made Mark stop breathing; Jackson. Kissing. That Ben person. The person Jackson had declared to be done with. The person he had sworn not to see in a good light ever again.

_What the hell was going on?!_

Mark felt foolish and angry and most of all, betrayed and heartbroken. Could this be true? How could Jackson do this to him? He thought he could trust Jackson, to believe he would cherish Mark and in the end love him unconditionally? Why was Jackson letting the old tormentor, Ben, hold him like that, kiss him on his cheek, _on the lips_ and dare to look so happy about it? Wasn’t the scoundrel getting married to a girl? Was he double crossing? Was _Jackson_ double crossing Mark? The horrible feeling of not being enough washed over him like the cruel, cold and unforgiving waves of sea.

It was a moment when he thought he could hear and feel how something shattered inside his chest. His heart was falling apart in pieces, leaving him gasping for air and staring before him with eyes that saw nothing but the flashes of the pictures just sent to him.

He needed to talk with Jackson. Right now. He didn’t _care_ what time it was, or was Jackson at work or not. This needed to be sorted, _right now._ He didn’t care how unpleasant he felt when he chose Jackson’s number and connected the call.

Mark never even considered to think about _who_ had sent the pictures to him. He was too angry, too devastated and too conflicted to think straight at that moment. The phone rang three times. The longest seconds in Mark’s life.

 _“Mark? Isn’t it awfully late there?”_ Jackson picked up after a while, his tone worried and strained. It had to be guilt, most likely, gnawing at Jackson’s insides to know he had done something he wasn’t supposed to do. Mark seethed on his end, gritting his teeth together, his whole body shaking with anger.

“Would you mind explaining a few things, Jackson?” Mark snapped, not caring to beat around the bush.

_“Like what? If you are talking about how I was being dick at you last week about that video.. I’m sor-”_

“I’m not talking about that.” Mark’s tone was hard. “Have you been hanging out with Ben lately?” Even saying that name caused Mark’s mouth go dry and his head throbbed painfully. The name was a red cloth before his eyes and he wanted to stab it with millions of very sharp kitchen knives.

 _“Ben?”_ Jackson sounded baffled. What a cruel joke, as if Jackson wouldn’t know what this was about. _“You know I can’t even stand the sight of him.”_

“Don’t lie.” Mark nearly hissed, the anger boiling inside him like poison corroding all the good things away.

 _“Lie? Mark, what the hell are you so pissed about? Say it straight!”_ Jackson seemed to be getting irritated. Good. It would be better, then he would say what was on his mind, instead of circling around the subject.

“How about this, Ben hugging you. Ben kissing you. You accepting the attention.” The words hurt him like nothing had ever hurt him before. Mark wanted fall apart right now, but he couldn’t yet, he had to finish this before he would be free to… To do what? Something stupid most likely.

 _“Wha-”_ Jackson spluttered. Mark could envision him sitting there and looking exactly like Mark had just minutes ago; like someone had punched him in the stomach. _“Mark, I don’t know what you’ve heard, or where did you hear it, but it’s not like that.”_

“Exactly how is it not like that? Jackson I trusted you! I thought you cared about me! Is this how you react each time we a have quarrel? You run to your fucking ex, who’s been nothing but a fucking asshole towards you, and make out with him and leave evidence behind?” Mark knew he sounded almost hysterical at this point, but he wasn’t in any condition to hold back his overflowing anger and resentment and panic.

 _“Mark! Listen to me! It’s not like tha-”_ But Mark wasn’t going to listen, he couldn’t. He would lose all his angry resolve if he listened to Jackson’s voice. He would give in and lose the battle. He would lie heartbroken and bleeding on the floor if he would let Jackson talk him into listening and into believing the lies that would evidently come out of Jackson’s mouth.

“I’m done with you.” Mark whispered. His heart shattered into millions of sharp shards, each having razor like edges, cutting his soul as they fell. He was bleeding in that invisible way that hurt like hell, but you couldn’t see or understand it unless you experienced it yourself. “I don’t ever want to hear from you again.” And before Jackson could say anything, Mark hung up.

His hands were trembling and the tears welled up in his eyes. His life seemed to have no meaning left. He was broken, like a marionette. Lifeless without a puppet master to move his limp limbs. There was no breath left in him, not even one good thing hidden inside his mind that had been hacked into pieces in just few seconds. All he had had with Jackson was gone. Over. And never to return.

Mark cried. Hard.


	10. Patches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hokay. Took me a while to get this done, but here it is! Sorry for the delay my dears. I hope this satisfies your need for explanations.

**England**

Jackson stared at the bright screen of his laptop. He had his phone in one hand, the other hand moving the cursor and fingers tapping the keyboard. He was trying to check if he could find _any_ trace of Mark being anywhere. So far he had only found out that Mark had blocked him pretty damn effectively. Shut Jackson out so successfully he had no option but to try to reach Jinyoung. He had no one else he could try to call there. Jinyoung was his only option. Jackson didn’t even consider Youngjae; the guy was away from home again and didn’t even have dealings with Mark. It was in the middle of the night in L.A. and Jackson knew that, but he hoped Jinyoung would respond as soon as possible. He was getting really desperate.

Jackson had been so stricken when Mark had so suddenly called him on Friday morning and started yelling something about Ben and other awful stuff. Jackson shuddered, the nausea he’d been having ever since, returning with force. He hated being unable to explain himself and being accused like that had made him really, _really_ , uneasy. After the call, he had tried to call back to Mark, had sent him countless emails and messages, tried to call again, but with no luck. Mark had vanished like a gust of wind into the void. So, Jackson’s only option had been to try to reach Jinyoung. After leaving about a hundred mixed messages of desperation and anger to him, Jackson had called Jaebum and explained the whole thing to him.

Lucky for Jackson, JB had his wits about him. He quite calmly told Jackson to go and search for Ben, because the whole thing reeked of the jerk’s shitty behavior. That, quite obviously, had led up to the most spectacular scene ever seen at the newspaper headquarters.

Jackson had strode up to Ben’s office and demanded to know what the fuck had he been sending to Mark. He didn’t even bother keeping his voice down. Who cared if everyone knew he was fucking with another guy? Who cared if everyone knew _everything_ at this point! After playing coy for a while Ben showed his true colors. His face gleeful and victorious, he announced that Jackson could be proud that his now ex-boyfriend, the pretty boy Mark, had had enough sense to drop someone like Jackson who was _nothing_. A dirt bag. And worthless shit. A creature lower than worms. Jackson wasn’t even worth being called a human, according to Ben.

Something had snapped in Jackson’s head at that moment, and he had grabbed Ben by his collar, smashed him to the wall and shouted, quite loudly, that Ben was a deceitful, conniving, backstabbing dickwad, who had not only cheated on Jackson, but also on his fiancée! _With_ Jackson! Jackson was quite capable of doing this, he might be shorter than Ben, but he had enough power to lift heavy things easily. Also he was absolutely furious; it gave him the strength of ten men and Ben, being a slacker and a weakling, didn’t have any chance of defending himself from being nailed to the wall like a bug.

After that, the office had been absolutely quiet. Not one word had been uttered. The silence that had surrounded them had been eerie, strained and everyone just kept staring at them, waiting for the next move with baited breath. The way Ben was looking at Jackson, the pure malice and hatred shining thru like a beacon.. It scorched his insides, made him see flashes of red and white before his eyes. Jackson cursed loudly, let his victim free and then punched him straight in his face with as much force as he could muster. Ben dropped to the floor like a broken doll, groaning pitifully.

“Gutless coward.” Jackson hissed at the doubled up Ben with a bleeding lip and nose. “Kindly explain what sort of shit you’ve been sending to Mark or I _will_ beat the shit out of you, and then go and come out with all the details how you have been eating from two plates at the same time.” Jackson loomed over the hunched, quite pathetic, form of Ben. He would not let this matter go, no way. He would get some answers and he would try with all his might to put things back where they supposed to be; Mark happy, smiling and loved by Jackson. Because that’s where Mark belonged in Jackson’s opinion; in his arms and forever in his heart.

“You wouldn’t..” Ben gasped for air, glancing up at Jackson, probably thinking what kind of hell would break loose, if Jackson would actually do what he threatened.

“Try me.” Jackson snarled, his anger about to get loose again. Ben flinched, gingerly touching his lip and then his nose. Both bleeding profusely now, the dark liquid dripping down on the white shirt, staining it for good. The sight made Jackson sick to his stomach. How could have he ever even seen this sorry excuse of a human being in romantic light? Ben was so disgusting, and every second Jackson had to spend watching him made him more sure than ever he wanted to get out here. For good.

“Fine.” Ben finally spat out, slumping against the wall, but not looking up at Jackson. “I sent him pictures from the Saint Paddy’s day party.” Jackson’s mind was racing, trying to remember what had happened back then. When he reached the memory the fury increased inside him again. This asswipe had pictures of those unfortunate moments when he had surprised Jackson by suddenly appearing, from what seemed like thin air, and clung onto him like they still had had something between them? Jackson seethed, feeling like he could tear Ben apart limb by limb and roast him over a fire, slow.

“Rot in hell.” Jackson growled low, his anger starting to get the better of him soon, if he would remain here watching Ben. The sight was making him nauseated more than the fear he had wallowing inside him. Jackson turned around and found his boss staring at him quite dismayed. “Either I work at home or I quit. You choose.” He stated angrily, knowing full well this sort of behavior wasn’t really encouraged. He didn’t _care_ right now. It was his fortune that he’d known the chief editor a long time, and knew he would most likely cut Jackson some slack on this matter. He left the building, and left all the people gawking at him with something like fear and pity in their eyes.

He was so fed up with this shit. He had to get out.

Jackson had been so angry at Ben, angry at everything actually. To think he had been waiting to get out of work and finally have the time to call Mark and apologize about the mess he had managed to create when he had jumped to bad conclusions in the first place. He wasn’t one to blame Mark on something like hugging people, he was sometimes even worse than Mark could ever be! The whole situation had been a huge mistake anyway, Jackson having been irritated the whole day and seeing Mark hugging happily other people had made him feel insecure and he had lashed out on Mark without any good reason. But the argument had happened on Thursday and after sleeping the irritation off Jackson had been about to send some apologetic messages, but..

That morning his luck had completely run out.

His parents had called, informing him they were in London and they hoped to see Jackson. So, Jackson went to work, the argument with Mark pushed aside while he tried to talk his way out of the office really early. He had met up with his family, even his brother was there and they had all decided to surprise Jackson. This was such a rare occasion it had driven Jackson almost mad with confusion; he really wanted to enjoy the time with his family, but at the same time he just wanted to sit down and write a proper apology to Mark. And he didn’t want to just say sorry. He wanted to say it properly, like he always did; with all his heart or not at all. He wouldn’t just half-ass anything.

And when Jackson had finally had a moment to himself, and he had reached for his phone, he had found out the damn thing wasn’t with him. He had left it at work. It was amazing how forgetful you could become when your head was swimming in muddy waters. Jackson had been stranded all thru the weekend, feeling guilty and agitated, with his family whom he loved and wanted to spend time with more than anything. In the end Jackson had convinced himself that Mark was a reasonable person and could endure the few days with no communication. And maybe he would have, without Ben interfering like the scumbag he was.

After the whole terrible episode that had caused his whole life crumble down like a house of cards, Jackson had returned home and began his futile attempts on trying to reach Mark. The phone was no use; Mark had either shut it down or blocked Jackson. Emails didn’t get a reply. Skype, empty. Everything screamed with emptiness.

His phone vibrated. Jackson picked it up immediately, his heart jumping to his throat, palms cold and sweaty.

 _“Jackson? What the hell is going on_?” Jinyoung’s voice came out sharp and angry thru the line. _“I have a messed up and crying Mark on one hand and you on the other shouting something that you can’t reach Mark? What the hell has happened?”_

“Ben.. He sent some stupid photos to Mark. And Mark thought.. We’d been arguing few days ago and I was acting like an idiot.. So Mark thought I had gone back to Ben and he yelled at me that I was cheating on him and then broke up with me and I can’t even breathe without him. Help me..” Jackson was nearly crying now, his bleeding heart almost coming out of his mouth. He was starting to panic soon, because there wasn’t anything he could do.

 _“Calm down. Honestly, tell me everything.”_ Jinyoung said, swallowing probably his anger and confusion to calm Jackson down. When Jackson explained the situation with more detail, Jinyoung was quiet and didn’t say a word until Jackson was sobbing again.

“He left me. And I can’t reach him to say it was just a cruel joke. Jinyoungie, I can’t go on if Mark hates me. What if I die tomorrow and that was the last thing we ever spoke about?”

_“You’re not dying. Nor is Mark. Just breathe now. Calm down. We can fix this.”_

“How? Just _how_ is this fixable? He won’t talk to me!”

 _“Jackson. Hush. I have talked with Mark. I couldn’t make much of his incoherent sobs, but he’s here with me and right now sleeping. Thank god for that.”_ Jinyoung took a deep breath before continuing.  _“Did you see the pictures Mark received?”_

“Ugh.. Actually. No. I know where they are from, but I punched Ben before I got to the part where I should have demanded the pictures from him.” Jackson felt just a bit guilty for not knowing what kind of shit Mark had even seen. Though he did have a fairly good idea what it most likely was.

 _"Good for you. Bad for your defense.”_ Jinyoung seemed to smile, despite his words. _“I talked with Jaebum and.. Jackson, do you have any idea how lucky you are that JB was at the same party, where the pictures were taken? Because now you have a witness who can tell how you actually shoved Ben away at the time. Someone must have taken the pictures for the fuckhead. This was planned weeks ahead, you do realize that?”_

“I hate him so much.. I wish I could kill him.” His vision was darkening and his fist clenched tightly. Jackson wanted to smash that ugly face, to beat it until it was an unrecognizable pulp.

_“No, you don’t. You want to stay free of jail so you can get back to Mark. And you need to do it in person. Can you?”_

“I’ll do anything. I can’t lose him. I… I love him.” The sudden realization hit Jackson like a freight train. He actually _loved_ that idiot. So much that he was willing to forget the unpleasant misunderstanding, if Mark just would be willing to do the same.

 _“Tell_ him _that.”_ Jinyoung didn’t even crack a smile at his end, he was dead serious. Jackson sighed, knowing what he had to do next.

After being reassured and comforted by Jinyoung, Jackson took no time in booking a flight for himself. He packed, cleared things up, called to his boss to tell him he would take a leave of absence for a while, called JB and then headed out. He dropped Nora off to JB, before heading to London and to the airport. He was on the move. That was the most important thing right now. He was doing _something,_ and doing something would eventually result in.. What? Would there be a happy ending? Jackson didn’t honestly know at this point. But, even if Mark had so irrationally blown up at him, Jackson had no intention of letting his feelings for the other go so soon. He knew now what he felt and he would go and try to find out if Mark was feeling the same. If he wasn’t, then.. Jackson didn’t want to think about that option. Because it wasn’t an option to him.

The flight was going to be torturous, but at least he had nothing else to do for the next 12 hours, but to rehearse what he would say to Mark. He would beg on his knees if he had to, but he would do it if it only would bring Mark back to him.

 

**Los Angeles**

Mark’s eyes were puffed, red and very swollen. He had been crying almost non-stop half the night, before the exhaustion had taken him over and he had fallen asleep. Mark thought he would soon wilt away from dehydration; he surely couldn’t have any tears left to shed. He hadn’t been able to go to work, because he was a fucking mess, to be brutally honest, which wasn’t a surprise at all. If he had any incoming mail or calls, he didn’t know. He had closed his phone last night. It was better that way, even if he was feeling so guilty and horrible all the time he wanted to hurl his guts on the floor.

After the dreadful moment he had broken things up with Jackson, Mark had called Jinyoung and then headed straight to his place. He couldn’t be alone. He had needed someone to hold him, to tell him he wasn’t a bad person and that he deserved love and taking care of, just like everyone else did. Mark had been almost in a zombie-like state when he had turned up on Jinyoung’s door; eyes glassy and head empty, his movements automatic.

After being handed a cup of tea Mark had broken up and started to cry again. He was quite sure not much of what he said had been anywhere near coherent, but Jinyoung had grasped the idea anyway. He had hugged Mark close, stroking his hair and offered a shoulder for him to cry the desperate tears on. The night had been long and tear-stained, on Mark’s part. Jinyoung had put him to sleep at some point, Mark wasn’t even sure when that had happened. Everything was a blurry mess with no prospect of clearing up anytime soon.

He was still at Jinyoung’s house, staring blankly at the white ceiling where the shadows moved idly in morning light. Luckily it was only the guestroom. Having to sleep in the master bedroom would have been too much, considering how many memories Mark had from sleeping in there with Jackson. So many good memories of being held by the blond, being kissed and caressed in that loving way.. Mark felt the hot tears welling up again. He hated himself for being like this. It was absolutely idiotic. He hadn’t been in love, had he? It was the hurt of being discarded and treated like he was nothing that made him so miserable, right? Jackson had been nothing but a small fleeting moment of happiness that wasn’t meant to last long. Now he would never again feel those arms around him or smell that familiar scent filling his head.

Mark shut his eyes, tears running down his cheeks again. He may try and deny it, but by now he had realized why he was so shocked and why the situation hurt him so much.

He didn’t want to be in love if it was like this. Like being stabbed with hundreds of dull knives at the same time as someone was slowly strangling him, squeezing the little air he had left inside him. He couldn’t breathe, the air seemed to weigh like it was more substantial and more tangible than usual. His blood was boiling, running slow and lazy in his veins, his heart too sore to pump the thick liquid. How could anyone deal with a situation like this, and keep their wits about them?

Mark’s hazy thoughts wandered from subject to subject, aimlessly. He thought about Jackson, of course. He thought all the words, all the gestures and things that had happened between them. The sweet week they had spent just lost in the heat of their bodies sweaty together, feverishly moaning into each other’s mouths. It had been bittersweet to leave, but not impossible. Now it all felt like a million ton mass of rubble piled over his chest. The horrible weight of knowing he would never get those moments back or could ever kiss the lips in the middle of the night, just because he could, was crushing him to the ground. Mark tried to breath, to gather his wits, to stop the constantly flowing tears.

What was even more horrible, when Mark’s thoughts finally reached the other possibilities, was that what if the situation _wasn’t_ what it had seemed to be? What if he had been a childish idiot and jumped to the _very_ wrong conclusion without hearing any of the explanations or stopped to think properly. Had he broken things off with Jackson just because he had been so shocked and couldn’t think straight? A white, hot wave of guilt washed over him. Mark wanted to vomit. He wasn’t stupid, after all. He should have listened to Jackson. He should have given some thought to this shit before exploding like that. What exactly had he been thinking!

Nothing, that was for sure.

The realization made Mark feel so ashamed of himself. It was _his_ fault that things were like they were now. Only his fault. And he had no courage to stand up and admit his flaws and apologize like he had never apologized in his life. The guilt welled up in him like he was a barrel full of that feeling and he would break the moment he would open his mouth. This was just utterly surreal. Mark clutched to the blanket, rolling to his side. The discomfort he had felt a minute ago wasn’t anything compared to this. The universe was sucking him into a black hole, the pressure tearing him apart with seconds turned into light years of sharp and throbbing pain. Like someone was wringing his entire soul with both hands, like they did to wet rags.

There was a soft knock on the door and Jinyoung peered inside.

“Are you awake?” Mark made no sound, but he sniffed, giving himself away. He was being childish. He should be angry, not weeping like a little child. He should be out there, declaring what a fool he was to waste Jackson’s time on him when all he had been able to do was to hurt him. Jackson deserved so much more. So much.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” Mark rasped out, sitting slowly up. His head was about to split from the pain. Crying had made his head so sore and achy he just wanted close his eyes and sleep. But it had to stop now, he couldn’t cry after realizing it was him, not Jackson, who needed to fix this. “What have I done?” Mark glanced up, horror in his eyes, at Jinyoung, who leaned on the door frame heavily, arms crossed before him and looked at Mark seriously, his perfect round face unemotional.

“Well, I’ve got to hand it to you. You’ve actually realized what an idiot you are. And that doesn’t even cover the half of it. I thought I would have to make you see the truth. I’m not saying Jackson wasn’t in the wrong too, but you were more. Much more.” Jinyoung smiled faintly then. “You have until tomorrow to figure out what you will say or do.” Mark looked at him sharply, the fear clutching his heart tight. “Jackson is coming here.”

~

The hours before Jackson’s arrival were pure torture to Mark. He had to stop himself from running around in circles, he was so restless all the time. He had had to stay home again, cancel classes and take the blow that caused his already damaged and bruised ego shrivel more. He was too conscious of the fact he needed to find out a good enough reason for his incredible stupidity, and he couldn’t even think about focusing on work in this state.

So far nothing had come up. He had no excuse to offer to explain just exactly _why_ had he been a rash fool and had hurt the one he loved. If this could be mended in any way Mark promised himself he would learn his lesson and be nothing but considerate partner for Jackson. Even if promising something like that wasn’t logical, he wanted to at least _believe_ he was capable of being worthy of Jackson.

Love… The word whacked him in the face like a sledgehammer. For now he knew he was balancing dangerously on the edge of being seriously in love. The feeling made him ache and wish he could run halfway to meet up with Jackson, so that they could be together sooner, no matter if the meeting would be painful without a doubt. Loving someone shouldn’t be this painful, should it? But Mark had some vague idea of how completely terrible it was to be in love with someone; you lost all of yourself into the other person, merged with him and it didn’t even bother either of you. The most beautiful and most terrible thing in the world.

Right now, all these feeling and the whole situation felt like the cruelest joke ever cracked. They had met, felt the attraction and excitement, had promised to find out what this could be together and then.. Mark had dropped the stupidest bomb on Jackson. What a sad, sad joke it was. Mark reprimanded himself for the umpteenth time for doing that. But he had done it and now he would have to bear the results. The upcoming conversation was looming ahead like mount doom and Mark didn’t really want to climb the slopes, but he had to.

But maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so horrible after things would cool down. And things should cool down, right? One way or another the matter would be solved, be it Mark never seeing Jackson again, or them finding some solution to this.

The doorbell rang. The moment he had dreaded, had finally arrived.

Mark raised his head from between his hands and the anxiety squeezed his entire body like a straight jacket bound too tightly around him. It was like walking towards judgment day, not knowing would he burn in eternal shame and guilt, or would he find his salvation and ascension on the other side.

“Hi..” Jackson muttered, the moment Mark opened the door. The sight of him made Mark wish he could’ve smacked himself right there and then. Jackson looked quite honestly like shit, the dark circles under his eyes too prominent, his hair hidden under a black snapback and his whole body somehow so exhausted it screamed with the need to rest miles ahead. And the wary pain in his eyes tore at Mark’s heart like it was tied to a wheel of pain.

“Come in.” Mark couldn’t find any fitting words, he moved mechanically and without a trace of rational thought, his voice cracking the moment he uttered the words out of his mouth. His heart was racing, thumping so hard Mark could hear the painful beats in his ears. He had rehearsed a thousand different versions of his apology but now.. Now he couldn’t remember any of those. The sight of Jackson’s worn out appearance and exhaustion piercing Mark’s heart sharply.

They stood in silence in the entryway, not looking at each other. The silence was uncomfortable, stretching with every passing second. The entryway was eerie, quiet and even in under the bright lights it seemed to be dark and gloomy. The sullen atmosphere hung over them heavy. Mark didn’t know what to do with his hands, nor his feet, everything seemed to be in the way and inconvenient. He licked his lips nervously, heart sinking and eyes darting from one item to another. On anything but Jackson. He swallowed hard. Jackson was just standing there, eyes cast down to look at his sneakers and hands buried deep into the pockets of his black hoodie.

“I’m so... so.. sorry.” Mark finally whispered. Jackson’s head snapped up and he let out a gasp like he hadn’t expected to hear a word from Mark’s mouth. “I said things I shouldn’t have said. I understand if you hate me so much right now.” He couldn’t even dare to hope for their relationship to continue. It was too much to wish for. Mark finally looked up, staring at Jackson with tears in his eyes and hugged himself, not knowing what else to do with his hands.

“Why didn’t you let me explain?” Jackson gazed up after a while, locking his eyes with Mark’s; the depths hard and wounded. His voice was so low and quiet, more tender and sad, rather than angry. It was even worse than being yelled at. The hurt was nearly audible, the pain so vivid you could almost feel it hanging in the air. This was every bit as horrible as Mark had feared it to be.

“I.. I don’t know. I was so scared. I have no excuse to offer that would justify my reaction.” Mark blinked the tears away from the corners of his eyes, fixing his eyes on the zipper on Jackson’s sweater, unable to look into the brown eyes any longer. The enormous guilt hanging over him was pressing him hard from every direction. Mark felt like he would choke soon.

“Mark.. That was shittiest thing you could ever do. But can I explain now? Will you listen to me now?” The hint of cold desperation in Jackson’s tone made Mark feel suddenly even worse. He didn’t dare to wish for a happy ending anymore. Not after he had witnessed how much the pain Mark had caused had ripped Jackson apart. Mark just nodded in response and walked further inside the house, not really keen on having this conversation in the entryway. Nor was he keen on having the conversation at all in the first place. But the blame was on him, and as unpleasant as this was, it had to be dealt with.

Mark tried to steel himself up, sitting down on one end of his cozy dark gray couch. The silence grew long and painful again. Mark could hear the clock ticking away in another room. Tic.. Tic.. The seconds turned to unpleasant minutes and his dread grew with each passing heartbeat. Jackson was silent, sitting far away from Mark, leaning onto his thighs and staring at the floor. It was so hard to start talking. Like there was a plug inside his throat, blocking the words he needed to say.

Swallowing hard Mark closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then the words were tumbling out of his mouth and Mark wished he would sound at least in some way coherent.

“I’m so sorry.. I can repeat it a thousand times and yet it still won’t make you trust me again, nor will those words erase the hurt I caused you.” Mark’s breath was trembling when he inhaled. “Jackson, my words may sound so empty, so useless and unimportant right now, but I want you to believe me so badly..” Mark raised his head, looking out of the window. It was all dark by now, the nigh having fallen already. “But there is meaning in them. I will try to show you how sorry I am for all this, if you just let me.” Mark felt the tears welling up again. He was so close at crying his jaw was tightly clenched, and his hands were wringing the hem of his over-large shirt.

“It’s not easy to build trust after such thing. You of all people should know how much I hate this sort of situation. It really hurts, to hear something like what you said. What made it even worse was that you wouldn’t even listen to me! You just decided those fucking pictures were the truth and didn’t even stop to think about them rationally. Do you really think I could ever go back to that dipshit, even just to get back at you for something as stupid as irritation?” Jackson was speaking so quietly, the soft tone hurting Mark more than anything else. “What do you even expect me to say? That I forgive you this instant even after that shit you pulled thru?”

“I.. I don’t know.” Mark was confused. Was Jackson being cruel on purpose or was Mark just really slow? It was justified to receive all those things Jackson had said, but the unpleasant knot of horror inside him was swelling up like a balloon. The tears began to run down his cheeks, cool against the hot skin. Jackson wasn’t looking at him, just sitting there unmoving and eyes closed and shadowed by the snap back. “I don’t know what you should say, or do. I feel so horrible for what I did and I can’t rewind the time and go back and stop myself from doing that.”

“Those pictures.. They did happen. But you don’t know the whole truth.” Jackson raised his head, looking out of the window as well. Mark’s heart froze at the words, but Jackson continued before Mark could express his shock. “You can ask JB if you want, but I did _not_ co-operate in those situations, even if they might look like I did. Ben just tackled me, clung onto me and tried to act all cute and adoring. He was so sneaky, taking me by surprise each time, and I can imagine someone took pictures of those moments before my expression of hate and loathing would show up on my face.” Jackson glanced at Mark, who was hanging his head low, cheeks tinged with rosy color, the skin moist from tears. Jackson felt his heart shriveling. He wanted to hug Mark, but he couldn’t move. Not yet.

“I did think rationally about the pictures, or more like Jinyoung forced me to think them like that.” Mark let out a hollow laugh, wiping the constantly flowing tears with his sleeves. “I thought someone must have faked them. I know now, because I had time to think, that you wouldn’t do such a thing. Not with him and not to me.” Mark’s voice was so quiet it was almost inaudible. Jackson had to strain his ears to hear it. The clock was ticking away, the seconds echoing loudly in the silence.

“I _am_ sorry that I lashed out on you last week. I had had a bad day, and I guess I got jealous, because you were so happy and.. I don’t know really. It was such a stupid thing to feel and say. I’m sorry.” Jackson kept drawing circles on the fabric of his jeans, not really sure which way he should look now and what to do or what to say. He wanted the situation to be over and done with already.

“It’s.. ok. I’m the one who has more things to apologize. I shouldn’t have overreacted like that.” Mark was quiet for a while, chewing on the insides of his cheeks. “Why didn’t you contact me during the weekend?”

“If you can believe it, it was just a stroke of extremely bad luck.” Jackson sighed deep, closing his eyes for a while. “My parents turned up with my brother, you know we don’t see very often, and I forgot my phone at work. It sounds so lame, but I thought you could endure few days without my apologies..” It sounded so awfully childish now, but this was the truth. He really had thought the situation wouldn’t blow up to be like this. Not even in his wildest and most horrible nightmares had he thought _anything_ like this.

“I would have called you sooner or later, but then the.. email happened and I completely lost my head. I was already tired and stressed when I got it, so it kind of just escalated way too fast.” Mark inhaled, his breathing trembling, wiping angrily his eyes. “I can’t stop crying because I’m still so tired and I’m scared that I fucked things up majorly. Jackson.. Did I fuck this up? Tell me, please. I can’t take this tension much longer.” The teary and swollen eyes stared at Jackson straight. All the irritation, all the anger and hatred he had felt, maybe for a while, when the whole shitty situation had happened, was gone. He felt warmer, and the love he had realized he held inside him, for this man looking so scared, was melting the icy shield covering him.

“I would lie if I said you didn’t hurt me with your words.” Jackson shook his head, his thoughts still quite jumbled up. “But it’s all said and done now.” Jackson turned to look at Mark straight in the eyes. The desperation in those almond eyes was so vivid it was painful to watch. “Mark, you need to talk to me about these things. I can’t possibly know what bugs you if you keep all the problems hidden inside you.” Jackson rubbed his eyes, headache trying to push thru. He stared at Mark between his spread fingers resting on his face, examining the pale face before him. Mark fidgeted on his spot, his hands crumpling the shirt, balling the fabric into his fists. The tension was clearly lessening, but still the uncertainly gnawed them both.

“I know..” Marks face was an expression of deepest regret. “I will try. I can’t possibly promise anything, because that would be simply foolish. I know I should say I will be better, that I will never hurt you again, but I know I am. And you as well, you will do something to upset me some day. We are both going to make more mistakes in future. But I _will_ try my best to avoid them, and come forward with anything that is troubling me.” Mark looked at Jackson seriously, his hands finally relaxing and the shirt fell free. Jackson stared at the long delicate fingers a long time before looking up again and into the anxious eyes of the love of his life. How silly they were, bickering like this; getting all upset for nothing and understanding things too late.

“I came here because I wanted to tell you that..”  Jackson drew a deep, calming breath. He would say it now, because it felt right and he was quite sure Mark wouldn’t be crying so much if he didn’t have at least some similar feelings for Jackson. “I love you. I can’t even think about a future where you aren’t in. You hurt me, but that hurt made me realize how deep my feelings for you already are. I just wish you’d feel the same.” He felt nervous, saying these things out loud. Would Mark hesitate, run away or just deny the possible mutual love between them, because of guilt, or something alike?

“Jackson…” Mark inhaled slowly, closing his eyes and breathing few times deep. His heart was calming down, his pulse finally normalizing. “I always thought I would hear those words in a different setting.” Mark pushed his hair out of his eyes. “But things rarely go as you think they will. I know better now. This horrible misunderstanding made me realize it.” Mark’s eyes flew open and his gaze locked with Jackson. “I love you. As strange and weird it might be, this made it perfectly clear to me. I’m so scared that I will hurt you, but.. I’m trying not to hesitate. I want to give you everything, even if that’s impossible.” Mark licked his lips. They seemed even fuller now, after so many shed tears, the color radiant pink.

 “We are idiots..” Jackson let out a half-laughter suddenly, the unexpected noise startling Mark. “We could talk all thru the night and keep promising things we can, or can’t keep, but..” Jackson bit down on his bottom lip, the old happy feeling bubbling somewhere near, trying to push him ahead to say the final words that would make things better again. “Mark.. Just.. Come here, ok?” Jackson gestured to Mark, finally taking off his cap, the blond hair messy and tangled falling over his forehead. Jackson opened his arms and in a second his embrace was full of the sweet smell and feel of Mark again. His heart swelled up with content. Jackson buried his face to the brown locks, inhaling deep. It calmed him down to hold Mark against him, even if the hug was still more on the desperate side, rather than just relaxed and happy.

“I’m so sorry..” Mark’s voice was muffled, his face hidden on the soft sweater on Jackson’s shoulder. Jackson buried his fingers into Mark’s hair, remaining quiet. He couldn’t speak; the hopelessness and agitation finally leaving his body and mind. Jackson relaxed, muscle by muscle, holding tightly on the body heavily pressed against his own. Mark was warm and felt familiar, the curve of his neck long under Jackson’s fingers, the feel of his breath comforting on Jackson’s own neck.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have made you worry like that.” Jackson nuzzled his face closer to the soft hair, enjoying the soft hair tickling his skin.

The silence spread over them again, this time it wasn’t strained or uncomfortable. Mark was heavy over him and the position slightly uncomfortable. Jackson could feel his body tensing up again, but he didn’t want to let go. Like he was afraid Mark would run away the minute he would let go of him.

“You think we could go to sleep? I’m quite happy to hold you like this, but it would be better to lay down, hm?” Jackson spoke softly, listening at the small sniffs Mark was making. It wasn’t far that Jackson himself was crying, he could feel the tears threatening to rise to his eyes. The exhaustion was gone and happiness had replaced it, but the roller coaster of emotions had drained his energy quite effectively away, and having solved at least the biggest problem caused Jackson just want to sleep. With Mark next to him.

“Yeah.” Mark untangled himself from Jackson, wiped his eyes and nose on his sleeve and managed a small smile. “I’d like that.”

~

The next morning Jackson woke up rather pleasantly, compared to what the past few days had been for him. He turned to his back, cuddled the blanket close to his chest, not yet opening his eyes. He was still slightly whacked on the head, with all what had happened yesterday, and even before that. It was just so incredible how fast things could change and turn out.

Jackson was in love. And what was more; Mark loved him back.

Jackson couldn’t help the disgustingly happy smile reaching his face. He knew he must look like a complete idiot, still sleepy and hair pointing every possible direction, eyes closed and grinning like a fool, hugging a blanket like it was the one he so held dear to his heart.

“I see you are awake.” Mark’s voice reached Jackson’s ears and he peered towards the noise. Mark stood next to the bed, all dressed up already. Jackson couldn’t help his heart swelling with happiness; Mark had a cream colored oversized sweater, torn blue jeans and his hair was delicately tousled. Seriously drop-dead gorgeous sight to see first thing in the morning. But the best thing was the smile, radiating and absolutely fabulous, as Mark smiled down at Jackson.

“I’m awake now.” Jackson stretched his arms above his head and then rolled on his stomach, leaning his chin to his arms and looked up Mark and his wide, white smile that sent happy thoughts bouncing around in Jackson’s head. He was pretty sure he was visibly sprouting small hearts that floated above him happily. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I have to go the studio. I’ve been slacking too much and I have interviews to do today.” Mark knelt beside the bed and studied Jackson’s still sleepy face. “You can come with me if you want, but I don’t mind if you stay here and sleep some more.” Jackson pursed his lips, thinking. He weighed the possibilities.

“I think I’ll sleep some more. I can call Jinyoung and let him know we’re ok again.”

“Sounds good.” Mark leaned over the mattress and reaching Jackson’s head, planting a kiss onto his forehead. Jackson tried his best not to start purring, he was so content with the affectionate gesture. “There’s food in the kitchen, just help yourself. I try not to be too late.”

“I’ll play the housewife, don’t worry.” Jackson grinned widely, the fluffy feeling just increasing. He was so sappy! Geez, where had his manliness gone? Luckily only Mark could see his embarrassing state, and that didn’t really matter, because Mark was the reason for his mental state.

“My pretty little wife.” Mark snorted, but smiled. “But I’m not expecting you to wear a skirt and an apron when I return. Unless you want to try some role playing…” Mark smirked, his tone a lot lower, and more seductive, than it had first been.

“Naughty.” Jackson’s grin turned wicked, a small shiver running thru him. “Go on, leave. Or I’ll drag you back to bed and you’ll miss another day.” Mark just laughed, blew him a kiss, swiftly dodging and fleeing out of the reach of the groping hands.

After Mark left, Jackson lulled himself back to sleep for a more few more hours. He _was_ exhausted, and after all the emotions running way too high and strained, it was good to feel elated and just lie in bed doing nothing in particular. The day was sunny, as it usually was whenever he was visiting the town, and the sunlight poured in from the window, directly on the bed. He liked Mark’s bedroom. Actually, he liked the whole house. Mark wasn’t exactly messy, but the room’s showed that someone definitely lived there. Random clothes laying on the chairs, bag here and a jacket there.. Completely normal things. The place felt like home, not some random place you just visited, but an actual place where you could imagine living.

Jackson eventually got up from his warm nest. He showered and fixed something to eat. He padded his way, in Mark’s clothes as he had brought pretty much nothing with him, to the patio and sat down to bathe his face in the warm sun with a cup of green tea in his hands. He could get used to this sort of living; sunlight, Mark, gentle wind on his skin, Mark, no hurry, Mark.. Jackson chuckled, amused beyond anything; he was so incredibly simpleminded right now.

Jackson pondered what he should do with his free time. The situation was fine with Mark now, stable, even if they might be a bit wary for a while still. But how to face everything waiting for him back in England? After what he had done there, punching his fellow worker and almost yelling at his superior, it was a wonder he even had a job to return to. Jackson drummed the armrest with his fingers, frowning slightly. It would do him good to actually have his work done away from the office for a while. Just to let things cool down, if nothing else.

He thought of changing jobs, but that wasn’t really an option. He didn’t want to do that, at least not right now. But, he had to do something, that much was certain. He would figure things out in the end. Right now Jackson was just happy he didn’t have to return home until he actually felt like it. And today he would commit himself on figuring something nice for Mark. Something silly and cute to make his angel love him even more.

Jackson smiled softly, settled down on the chair and relaxed. He would worry about the future later.

~

Mark stared at the three candidates standing in the studio, whom he had called up for an interview. Two guys and a girl, or maybe young adults would be a better word here, stood in line, waiting to prove their skill and worth for him. When Mark had finally gotten down on reading the emails he had received while having his phone shut down, grimacing with guilt and regret each time he saw a message Jackson had left him during that time, he had few responses to his job position. And now he was about to let them show him what they were made of.

It might be a bit cruel to put someone to teach a lesson so out of blue, but, Mark smiled darkly to himself leaning casually on the glass wall, if these people were any good, they would able to improvise a class just like that.

The first guy was moderately interesting, but Mark didn’t like him. Something about the guy simply rubbed him the wrong way. Perhaps it was the incredulous way he had looked at Mark when he had introduced himself after arriving, like he was eating Mark with his eyes and not bothering to keep the suggestive way of staring under control. Not so surprising that he was absolutely out of the question. Mark had no intention to let someone ogle at him like that, if he only could prevent it somehow. That left him with the girl and the other boy. The girl was good, energetic and got along well with the pre-teen group, but she wasn’t exactly what Mark was looking for in a teacher, as good as she was. The second boy however put up a spectacular show; he was born to dance and it showed. Mark knew that instant he would miss out something really good if he didn’t seriously consider him.

He talked with them separately after the performances, just to keep things formal, even if he knew whom he would hire.

“Where did you learn to dance like that?” Mark was smiling at the younger man sitting on the chair before him and looking slightly abashed. His brown hair was combed over his forehead and he had that constant confused smile lurking on the corners of his mouth.

“Just been practicing a lot. I try to copy popular music videos and their choreography, but it’s more fun to figure your own moves.” A wide, toothy smile. Mark liked him a lot already.

“When can you start?” Mark quite suddenly asked, taking the other by surprise. He had made up his mind, so what was the use of prolonging the interview.

“Seriously!” And then the joyous smile faded a bit. “You don’t remember me, do you?” Mark looked at him, frowning. He tilted his head, examining the handsome face, the brown hair and tall figure, the wide shoulders and long legs. There was _something_ familiar with him, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I.. don’t think I’ve met you before.” Mark said hesitantly, frowning.

“If I say Bambam, does it make it easier to remember?” Mark stared at Yugyeom, blinking. _That_ was the connection. Of course. But he had seen the other only once and at the time he had been sort of put off and hadn’t paid much attention to his surroundings.

“You’re his.. or was.. boyfriend?” Mark raised one eyebrow.

“Yes. And still am.” A shy smile and Yugyeom looked down at his hands, fiddling with a ring on his index finger.

“Well, I didn’t know you were a dancer. I mean, how could I, we haven’t talked about you since the break-up.” Mark was stupefied for a moment. A funny coincidence indeed. But he wasn’t against this, of course not. They weren’t in bad terms with Bambam anyway and Mark was just happy to meet the person who had made his friend so happily confused. “So, will you accept the job?”

“Of course!” Yugyeom’s smile was so infectious Mark burst out laughing.

Later that evening, when Mark finally wrapped up his work and he drove back home, he found the house dark and silent. Wondering if Jackson was out or sleeping, Mark walked inside. What he saw, when he entered the living room, made his heart throb; the table was filled with tens of lit up candles and a huge vase of white and red roses was placed in the middle of it. Mark searched around the room, trying to find Jackson.

“Welcome home.” Jackson appeared from the direction of the kitchen, smiling widely. Thank goodness he wasn’t wearing an apron, or a skirt. That would have probably been a bit too much even for Mark.

“I could get used to this.” Mark smirked, walking up to his gleeful companion. He stopped only when he was right in front of Jackson, their faces mere centimeters away from each other. Mark placed one hand gently on Jackson’s neck, feeling the warm skin and short hair. “Don’t tell me you cooked something too?” The words were silent and their noses brushed together.

“I thought about it. But decided you wouldn’t like to find your house burnt down. So I ordered some take away.” Jackson was staring down and Mark’s nose. “Do you like it?”

“Love it.” Mark chuckled lightly. He was so happy right now, so full of warmth and happiness. “Guess what I did today?”

“Tell me.” Jackson’s breath ghosted over Mark’s skin. He shivered ever so slightly.

“I hired my ex-boyfriends boyfriend.” It still made Mark want to laugh; the whole thing was so incredibly odd and funny. Jackson raised his eyebrows questioningly, but didn’t look up; he was staring at Mark’s lips quite intensively.

“Well now, isn’t that just dandy.”

“Of course it is. But, I have other things in mind right now..” Mark muttered quietly, the temptation getting too overwhelmingly strong. He finally leaned in and captured Jackson’s lips into a soft kiss. The best part of his day was definitely this; Jackson right here, wrapping his arms around Mark’s waist and pulling their bodies together, kissing him back.

What more could he want?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you might notice I'm quick to go back on fluff. Bah, I love fluff. I live for it! I could spend my days writing fluff and smut abt Markson. ...wait, I already do that. Oh well.
> 
> And as you might have noticed as well, the chapters are going to end at 12. Two more to come. I promised some interesting sexy times for my dear, so I will deliver that XD And I think I'm going to include JJP in that chapter too. HAHAH, no foursome, you greedy things XD No way. Then final chapter where things will be wrapped up. 
> 
> Leave a happy face for me. I love them <3
> 
> Edit. Over 3000 hits. Guys, you make me so happy! ;___; thank you so much for reading!


	11. Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised smut and smut I shall deliver.
> 
> The markson part is a gift to Ailyn. A kind of a thank you for listening me whining about various things. x) I hope this pleases you. (To be honest, I doubt I could ever really get all the things I have in my head written. Probably a good thing too..)
> 
> Please enjoy! This is the last long chapter of Holiday.

**Seoul**

Jinyoung laid on his stomach on the bed. He was stark naked and he didn’t even care. Only his toes were under the pillow, because he was facing the TV and flipping thru the channels idly, waiting. Sure, he was slightly cold, but it wasn’t too bad. The hotel room was otherwise quiet, except the sound of water running in the bathroom and the faint murmur of the program on TV. Having spent a morning just being happy and content was definitely causing Jinyoung to forget the earthly troubles and focus on just being.

He had two weeks off. Somehow he had managed to wipe a full two weeks clean for himself and to leave L.A. In itself it was already a huge thing, but that this time he would actually meet with the people he most yearned to be with. He’d flown to South Korea to see his family, and amazingly enough, Jaebum. It had taken some serious planning on their part, but in the end they had sealed the plan on spending a week together, just the two of them, before they would have to separate again. JB had arrived earlier and had left Sophie in the care of his parents, and as they lived closer to Seoul they had opted to stay there, for their much needed time to just be happy to see each other again. Jinyoung would travel after the week of heaven to his hometown and after that, back to reality.

Jinyoung sighed, deep. He was ecstatic to be with JB again, he admitted that quite freely. He felt giddy, alive and like he was a teenager again, with too many impure thoughts running in his head every time he looked at his companion. But the time would fly away too soon and he didn’t know when they would meet the next time. It weighed on his mind often, even when he tried to consciously push the worry away. He couldn’t really _do_ anything about it. It was useless to dwell in that feeling. He should concentrate on his happiness.

The continuous buzz of the TV filled Jinyoung’s ears and his thoughts slipped back to the satisfied state he had been in, before he had started to think about the reality which would hit them in the face with a baseball bat after six more days. He closed his eyes and let the remote control slip from his slackening hold and fall on the floor. He just wanted to be wrapped in the comforting embrace of Jaebum, forget all his duties and worries, even if the fairy tale would only be tangible and real this week. He would be strong and live with the long distance relationship like the good boy he was. He was still so infatuated with JB, so much it almost hurt to see him again. It hurt, but in a good way; it confirmed to him the feelings he had stored up somewhere, were all real and still there. He tried to hide them away so he could bear the time they were apart. Now, all those feelings were flooding back to the surface and that made it all so vivid, so real and yet so dream-like. But Jinyoung didn’t care. He didn’t want to care; not today, not tomorrow, and probably not even when he’d returned back home. Reality sucked when JB wasn’t in it.

The sound of water went quiet and after a while Jinyoung felt warm fingers traveling from his bare buttocks to his back. He smiled, but didn’t open his eyes or move in any way.

“Why do you look so good like that?” Jaebum’s voice was soft and low. It sent small shivers down Jinyoung’s spine every time he heard it. He could feel lips pressing between his shoulder blades when JB bent down to kiss his skin.

“I wouldn’t know. Don’t have eyes in my back.” Jinyoung mumbled quietly, still the smile etched on his lips. “But it’s all for you.”

“Yeah, mine.” JB was smiling widely at the words. He slid his hands slowly down back to the round ass. Jinyoung let out a small gasp when the fingers glided between his cheeks. “Once more?” The definite purr in that voice was absolutely irresistible. Jinyoung didn’t fight back the moan of pleasure when the fingers teased the rim of his already quite thoroughly abused hole.

“You’re insatiable, aren’t you?” He smiled breathily, peering behind his shoulder at the other bent over his naked form.

“Time limitation might have something to do with this..” JB grinned mischievously back at his partner. He removed his hand and climbed over Jinyoung and laid his body down. They matched so well with every curve. Jinyoung let out another soft moan when he felt JB’s half-erect member pressing down between his ass cheeks. It felt so good and he felt so lewd just to be doing this. But it was too much to try to resist anything; he wanted this as much as Jaebum did.

JB moved just enough to grind against the flushed body under his. Jinyoung pressed his cheek back against the soft mattress and closed his eyes, soft pleased humming noises coming from him with each move JB did. They may have already done this just half an hour ago, but the long wait to get to this point made their desires run high enough to have multiple moments of sweaty fun in one day.

The pleasure pooled down again, settling in the pit of his stomach and soon Jinyoung could feel his cock pressing against the mattress all hard and needy again.

“Do it slowly.” Jinyoung rasped out, eyes half-open. He couldn’t see JB, but he definitely felt him. He got no answer but his back arched when his body received the invasion once more. He pushed back and up, the warmth of JB covering him like a blanket and the warm feeling spreading like a wildfire inside him to the tips of his fingers and toes. He was tingling all over, breathing mouth open against the sheets and making small throaty noises. Jinyoung could feel the hot breath on his neck, felt every wave of pleasure with each deep thrust JB did, the act slow and sweet, unhurried after the passionate moments from before.

Their lovemaking took a good part of that day, at some point changing the positions to where Jinyoung was laying on his side and Jaebum behind him, accessing the lithe body from there. They fervently hoped their neighbors didn’t spend time in their rooms during the day, because they weren’t exactly quiet, groans and moans and delighted bursts of laughter filling the room with each passing moment they spent glued together.

After being fully satisfied by round number two, they went outside. It was pleasant, it was nice and it felt normal, being together like that. They were like two rough jigsaw pieces, forming a coherent picture only when put together. JB was calm, collected and knew what he wanted. Jinyoung felt like he was the dreamer, the one with his head in the clouds, even though he was nearly the same as his partner was.

Strolling down the busy streets, sitting down somewhere to enjoy the day in the middle of the bustling crowds was something Jinyoung knew he could get use to. In a brightly lit modern café they had settled for now, Jinyoung was examining Jaebum’s features, taking in everything he saw; he wanted to see this image as strongly as he was seeing it now, when he would be miles away. The dark line of JB’s eyebrows, the perfect arc of his nose, the graceful bow of his upper lip, the depth of his eyes, when he was looking straight at Jinyoung; it all was etching to his memory.

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to live at least in the same country?” Jinyoung suddenly asked, leaning his chin to his hand propped from the elbow to the table between them. JB raised his eyes from his coffee and frowned. His hair was a cute mess today, falling over his brows and pointing in different directions.

“I don’t know. You know I would love that, but I really don’t know.” JB toyed with the coffee cup, looking down at it for a while and sighing deeply. The café was full of people, all minding their own business, so it wasn’t so dangerous to be talking in public about something like this. Jinyoung remained quiet, not knowing what to say. “It might more doable when Sophie grows up. She won’t remain a child much longer.” There was both hope and sorrow in JB’s voice when he said that. Something tugged at Jinyoung’s heart.

“Forget it. It’s not relevant right now. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He wanted to reach over the table and take JB’s hand in his, but he was too aware of people looking at them quizzically and he didn’t want to be the object of scrutinizing. “But it’s something we need to consider in the future.”

“I know.” Jaebum finally smiled. The effect it had on Jinyoung was always incredible; he felt joyous and proud, like he was the center of JB’s universe right at that moment when the wide smile was directed at him, and no one could take that away from him. “I want it as much as you do. Things will work out, in time.”

~

A year passed. Jinyoung was already used to the long months of not seeing JB face to face, the longing tuning down to something bearable. But incredibly enough they had managed to fit more meetings into that year than they had the one before. A long weekend somewhere in Europe, when Jinyoung had had to travel because of work there, and as it was easier for Jaebum to fly shorter distances, they had spent few days basking in the glorious heat between them, all their emotions running high and wild. During the summer break JB took Sophie with her and they actually spent a whole month at Jinyoung’s place. That month had been his first try out in what it felt like to have an actual family of his own. It was almost like something had clicked inside him; taking care of two people instead of just himself, it was something he actually realized he wanted to keep in his life.

It was easier to show affection in L.A. for them. Unlike in Seoul, where people might be understanding, but in the end didn’t really accept a relationship like theirs was, here it was mostly a norm to see same sex couples walking around, just like everyone else. Jinyoung was more relaxed that he had been in years. JB seemed to enjoy his time in the sun, exploring the bookstores and taking Sophie to various places she was thrilled to visit. The month flew by too quickly and Jinyoung suddenly realized his house was too big for him to occupy alone.

The need to complete their puzzle picture was growing more demanding with each passing month.

During the third year, since they had met in England, things turned harder. Sophie’s grandfather died from a malevolent brain tumor suddenly, and her grandmother basically mourned herself to death, after her partner was gone. JB had his hands full with Sophie who was stricken to her tiny core by the loss and tried with all his might to console the child. Jinyoung had felt helpless before, but it was nothing compared to the worry he felt when JB told him about the situation they now were in. He had wanted to fly to England straight away, but didn’t have the time, and JB saying it might be best if he and Sophie dealt with the deaths by themselves for a while had calmed Jinyoung’s rushed thoughts down rather effectively.

Then the accident came.

Jinyoung woke up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing. He was the kind of person to sleep with one eye open, when he knew he would probably get urgent calls during the night, all work related of course. That was what he thought when he reached for his phone and pressed it over his ear, the sleep still heavy in his eyes and his mind groggy.

“Hello?”

 _“Jinyoungie?”_ The small voice on the other end woke Jinyoung up that instant.

“Sophie? What’s wrong?” It wasn’t unusual for Sophie to talk with him on her own, but the timing and the tone of her quiet voice ignited the dread inside him instantly.

 _“Dad is in the hospital. He fell from the stairs and he can’t walk.”_ She sniffed, probably wiping tears away. _“I didn’t know who to call and it’s really lonely here.”_

“It’s ok, I’m glad you called me. Can you tell me anything else? Is your father awake?” He tried to keep his voice steady, but he was now so worried he wanted to puke. Jinyoung sat up, his mind racing. He would have to do something. This was one of those times he would actually ditch everything else if needed.

 _“He’s sleeping now. The doctors don’t really tell me anything, because I’m too small.”_ Sophie was turning eight soon and she was maturing way too fast. The recent grief and sorrow had made her a bit more quieter than she used to be, and now this? Jinyoung didn’t even want to think about the effect things would have on her, if something really bad would happen to Jaebum.

“Do you want me to come there? I can, but it will take some time.”

 _“Can you? I think dad would like it. And me too.”_ Her voice was so tiny, so apologetic and it was tearing Jinyoung’s heart open.

“I’ll fly there as soon as I can. Keep the phone with you, ok? I’ll call you when I land in London.”

~

When Jinyoung finally arrived in London he called JB’s phone and to his great relief it was JB who answered. Apparently Sophie hadn’t told him Jinyoung would come over and the fact clearly shocked JB a lot. He kept saying Jinyoung shouldn’t have come just for this, he was fine and would get better soon, it was unnecessary for Jinyoung to leave his work behind just because JB had been clumsy enough to fall from the stairs.

This, obviously, turned into a hissed row when Jinyoung reached JB’s house. Sophie was outside, playing, but just to be on the safe side they tried to keep their voices down and not cause her anymore trouble.

“I’m not listening to your apologies or your evasion any longer. I have made up my mind. I’ve had enough of this jumping between countries and worrying myself sick over you. Both of you. You hurting yourself like this, I just can’t take the constant worry anymore. It’s breaking my heart.” Jinyoung sat on the bed, facing JB while was talking, his tone angry and frustrated. He wasn’t exactly happy about how things were now and it showed on his face.

“Are you breaking up with me?” JB stared at Jinyoung, not really knowing what was going on inside that pretty little head of his. It was unfortunate that he had fallen and was now bound to stay still for a while, but wasn’t Jinyoung exaggerating just a little bit too much, by flying here and throwing a hissy fit at him like this?

“That would be an option for some people but no, I am not.” Jinyoung took a deep breath, glaring down at Jaebum who was lying on his bed, resting his aching back. “I’m not breaking up with you. I love you two too much to do something like that. But I am going to give you an ultimatum; You move or I move. It’s your choice.”

“Are you serious? I have a job here and.. Sophie has her school and..” JB was speechless. He hadn’t expected anything like this. Not even in his wildest dreams.

“Yes, that’s about it, isn’t it? Your parents live in Korea and your late wife’s parents are dead. Sophie doesn’t like the school she goes to at the moment and your job.. Well, it can be managed from out of the country for a while. But.” Jinyoung held one hand up to stop JB from talking. “Let me finish.” He cleared his throat and looked at his partner seriously. “But, I will give up everything if you still insist on staying here. I will move here if you say you want to stay.” JB was staring up at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly gaping. He was shaking his head slowly, running fingers thru his hair, a perplexed expression on his face.

“You really are something, aren’t you?” A small, weak smile reached the perfect lips and Jinyoung’s annoyance lessened. “I need to think about this, ok? I have to..” He waved his hands. “..think.”

A half a year later JB and Sophie moved in with Jinyoung.

 

**Los Angeles**

Things were getting out of hand at the moment. And quite badly so. Mark had a fleeting thought about the safety of their situation, how all the curtains were all open and presented the scene inside the house rather clearly to anyone who would be passing by.. Good thing there was a fence around the house. Mark had his hand buried in Jackson’s hair, he absolutely loved the feel of it, and his head was bent back. Jackson was sucking on his neck and pinning Mark against the kitchen counter with so much force it was close to painful. They were covered in brown stains all over and their shirts were gone.

How had the situation turned out like this?

It had all began with the simplest idea of the two of them baking something together, just to see if it even was possible, and to present something not ready-bought for Mark’s parents, who were due to arrive at some point today to have dinner with them. Jackson would meet them for the first time.  However, the baking had not gone like it should have. There was something incredibly sexy and seducing about Jackson with an apron on him, measuring the ingredients and being absolutely serious about what he was doing. Mark tried to keep his hands away from Jackson, but he just couldn’t. When Jackson was slightly bending over the counter and reaching for the sugar Mark sneaked his hands around his waist and rubbed his groin to Jackson’s behind, just to see what kind of reaction he would get from Jackson.

“Aren’t we supposed to, you know, do something other than fuck like bunnies all the time?” Jackson’s reply was amused, but he didn’t shake Mark off. Instead he bent even further over the surface so that his ass was tightly pressed against Mark’s lap. The warmth of the body against him and the smell of melting dark chocolate on the stove were going straight up to Mark’s head. His heart was beating faster and his resolve to focus on the task at hand slipping slowly from his mind. He let his fingers trail lazily over Jackson’s apron and the shirt under it, feeling the stomach and the muscles.

“So? We’re not fucking right now. Am I not allowed to touch you?” Mark leaned forward and placed a kiss on the small of Jackson’s neck. Jackson smelled always so good, something spicy and exciting, and all Mark’s senses seemed to wake up that instant when Jackson came near to him. Mark heard the low chuckle Jackson let out.

“Sure you are. I just thought we didn’t have time for anything really fun before your parents arrive.” Jackson straightened his back and turned around to face Mark. He was biting his lips and frowning slightly. “Do you have any idea how nervous I am? I don’t want to fuck anything up, because you know.. I don’t want your parents to hate me or anything.” Jackson looked so sullen and grumpy, and incredibly cute, Mark had to fight down the smile that tried to rise up to his lips.

“It’ll be fine. You’re not the first boy they’ve met. Though you are the first I’ve loved..” Mark still felt a bit shy saying that word out loud, it was so _huge_ somehow. Not that he didn’t mean it, fuck yes he did. Jackson made his days better and worth every single breath he took.

“Yeah? What is it that you love in me anyway?” The nervous glimmer seemed to fade from Jackson’s eyes as the more pleasant thoughts replaced the worry. Jackson had probably been feeling the tension and anxiety ever since the moment Mark had told Jackson his parents wanted to finally meet him. Jackson was quite adorable when he was agitated, slightly annoying perhaps sometimes, but definitely more on the cute side.

“Mm..” Mark smiled gently, tightening his hold around the narrow waist, not looking up at Jackson and pursing his lips, like he was deep in thought. “You’re really handsome, for one. And you’re really polite and sunny, and really funny too.” Mark looked up and saw the radiant smile Jackson was offering him. “And your kisses are the best dope ever. Not to mention how good you are in bed..”

“I doubt your parents want to know about those things, but I appreciate them anyway. A lot.” Jackson made a low humming noise tilting his head to the side slightly, his eyes closing halfway. “You make me think of all sorts of naughty things right now.” He murmured, leaning closer to Mark’s face. Mark’s heart was picking up the pace and he was starting to feel so hot it was getting a little uncontrolled. He couldn’t get enough of Jackson. Not now, not ever. The blond made him feel so wanted and treasured it was a wonder Mark wasn’t floating above the ground, because he was so elated all the time.

Not really knowing what to say in return, Mark simply reached up and kissed Jackson. He pecked the lips tentatively at first but when Jackson draped one arm around Mark and pulled their bodies really close he parted his lips, to taste the always smiling mouth and let his tongue trail over the soft surface. Why was Jackson’s mouth always so sensual, so soft and warm? It was driving him mad when he was just looking at those lips. Just when Jackson was about to deepen the kiss, by tilting his head to the side for better access, the smell of chocolate caught their noses and they remembered the stove was still on. Jackson detached himself from Mark and took the kettle from the stove. He poured the melted dark brown substance into a bigger bowl and then turned to look at Mark with a devious smile on his lips.

Jackson was sucking on his lips slowly, the row of white teeth flashing in the process, a sight that made something knot tightly in Mark’s stomach. The blond looked at Mark, raised one eyebrow and then looked down at the bowl. He dipped his finger into the bowl, covering the digit with the warm liquid. Before Mark could say anything, or reach out, Jackson had already sucked the finger into his mouth. Jackson closed his eyes and let out a low pleased noise. He sucked on his finger like it was the tastiest thing he had ever put into his mouth and then pulled it out slowly.

All Mark could do was to stare completely at loss at the sight. Jackson was deliberately doing this to fuel Mark’s already sparked desire, he was absolutely sure of that. Jackson had the unfortunate talent of always reading _those_ signs correctly. Mark knew he _should_ act decent now, as he didn’t know when his parents would turn up but.. Screw that, he thought. Mark would pay back that dirty little trick.

Mark smiled sweetly at Jackson, reached for the bowl himself and dipped two fingers into the liquidized chocolate, all the thoughts of actually using it for _baking_ gone by now, and raised his smudged hand before his eyes. Mark smirked. He brought the fingers to his lips and licked the dripping substance with the tip of his tongue. He could hear Jackson’s breathing hitching. Mark sucked his fingers into his mouth, the chocolate smearing the edges of his mouth. When he, very slowly and all the time watching Jackson from under half-open eyelids, removed the digits from his mouth and gradually licked his lips, Jackson was looking at Mark like he would bounce on him any second now.

“Why do you have to look so damn edible..” Jackson growled at Mark who stood there, now leaning on the counter quite nonchalantly, biting down on his bottom lip and looking at Jackson from under his brow like he hadn’t just done something to heat up the situation. Mark, the innocent little angel. Bullshit, Jackson thought. Mark was far from innocent. Jackson wasted very little time getting close to his companion, pushing Mark against the edge and leaning forward. “You missed a spot.” Jackson licked the corner of Mark’s mouth, the chocolate somehow even tastier when it was eaten like this. “Shirt off. I want to try something.”

“Am I going to regret this?” Mark mused out loud, but took off his t-shirt none the less. He tossed it off as he had a small hunch things would get out of hand sooner rather than later, and he didn’t want to ruin his shirt completely.

“After that stunt of yours, I doubt it.” Jackson grinned. He removed his own shirt and for a while just stared at Mark appreciatively. “You look so damn _good_.” Mark had no time to reply before Jackson had dipped his hand into the bowl again and then.. Mark shivered visibly. The warm chocolate sauce spread over his chest as Jackson decided to draw incoherent patterns on Mark’s skin with it. The substance cooled off almost immediately and left his skin cold and wet, but somehow he didn’t mind it. And, as embarrassing as it might have been, he was getting even more turned on by this.

“ _My_ stunt? Look who’s talking. Is this a new kink you just realized you have, or something you’ve been planning on?” Mark breathed out, but his sentence got lost in the middle of a kiss when Jackson leaned over and captured his lips into a sloppy kiss that tasted like chocolate; bitter and sweet at the same time.

“Nah, I’m just going with the flow. Cake sounds good, but you covered with chocolate is even better idea.” Jackson’s tone was low as he sucked on Mark’s bottom lip. Then he dipped back into the mouth, deepening the kiss, tongue probing further. Mark had absolutely no objections to this and responded with equal eagerness, wrapping his arms around Jackson’s bare shoulders. The chocolate between them was slick and sticky, smearing all over their naked skins, dirty, but somehow erotic. 

Jackson released Mark’s lips after devouring him without too much haste, leaving Mark breathless and in need for a lot more than just hungry kissing. Jackson bent lower and began to kiss and lick the chocolate off from Mark’s skin. The combination of something sticky being licked and sucked from your skin, and being fondled at the same time from behind, was rather exhilarating. Jackson had his hands kneading Mark’s ass, the fingers putting pressure on all the right places that made small tremors run thru Mark’s body. Jackson knew exactly where to push, on the seam of the jeans, to send the stimulating electric jolts up Mark’s spine. The temperature was definitely rising, and fast, and it had nothing to do with the oven heating close to them.

Jackson moved on the chest, his tongue trailing the sweet traces all over the pale skin, halting from time to time to suck harder on where the stains were being obstinate. He stopped to take his time on Mark’s collarbones and the crook of his neck, the suction so hard Mark was sure he would have to wear a high collar shirt to hide the markings on his skin. Jackson had a thing for his neck, that had become evident the longer they had been together.

It was nearing a year now, when they had first met, and things were starting to turn serious between them. After that one incredibly stupid argument, Mark had been sure he wouldn’t be able to let Jackson go from his life. At the time Jackson had stayed with him almost three weeks, taking his time to cool down properly, before returning to work. After that they had seen only once and now Jackson was to stay a few weeks again. Mark wanted to relish every single day with Jackson. They did argue almost daily about something absolutely stupid, but in the end it wasn’t too serious and it got forgotten fast. Jackson liked to venture around the city and do things he felt like doing in the meanwhile Mark was working. Sometimes Mark managed to join him, sometimes Jackson was attending lessons with Mark. Always smiling, being that incredible source of positive thoughts and support he always was.

Things were steady between them and everything was somehow so good it was almost ridiculous; the only negative thing was the distance between them. Mark didn’t even want to think about it right now. This particular day had somehow turned up like the way it was now; Jackson pinning Mark against the counter and grinding their bodies together so deliciously it emitted small delighted noises from both of them. Mark wondered should he feel bad about wanting to have sex in the kitchen he knew his mother would cook something in later on. The thought got discarded when Jackson removed his mouth from Mark’s neck and nibbled his way back to his face, lips meeting Mark’s lips.

“Jackson..” Mark muttered, in between the nibs and tugs of flesh, fingers grasping the strong shoulders for support. “I want you to take that bowl, pour that melted chocolate on me and then suck it off. Then fuck me. Right here.” What was it that made him bold enough to say something like that, Mark had no idea. But the request was out now and he only hoped Jackson was in the mood for obscure humor and would agree on it. And why wouldn’t he? The situation was already getting dirtier by the minute.

“I’m gonna get cavities because of you.” Jackson’s response was an amused one, but tinged with the tone of sheer excitement. He leaned back, took a firm hold of Mark and raised him up to sit on the counter. His grin was just as wide as it should be in a situation like this. The mere idea of doing something a bit different from what they usually did was enough to spark some serious thrills to run up and down Jackson’s spine. Mark was licking his lips and the sight made Jackson want to jump the slender body and do him fast and furiously. But he wouldn’t. Jackson smirked wickedly at his companion, who was now leaning onto his hands for support, the lean body propped up for Jackson to enjoy. And boy, was he going to do just that.

Jackson took the bowl in his hands again, examined Mark like he was an experiment Jackson was supposed to dismantle, and then pressed one hand on the already smudged chest.

“Down.” There was no need to be too polite anymore and a little dominance always spiced up their dirty talks. Usually Mark was the one to talk a lot more dirtier stuff in bed, but Jackson could do the same, if he just felt like it. Mark obeyed without a word, shivering visibly when the cold surface of the table came in contact with his bare skin. Jackson leaned over Mark, fighting down the excited giggle that was about to escape him. He kept the bowl high and tipped it slowly. The dark gooey substance dripped downwards in a thin narrow string. Mark let out a small gasp when the cooled off liquid landed on his stomach, his abs tightening. Jackson moved the bowl up, the string of chocolate drawing a line over Mark’s skin, up from his navel towards his chest. It was incredible to watch Mark trembling on the table like this; his cheeks flushed, eyes closed and that mouth Jackson so adored, open and breaths of air audible.

Lucky for Jackson, the counter was waist high and thus gave him the perfect height to work with. Mark’s legs were hanging from knees down off the table and Jackson was standing in between them, looming over his prey. He cut the flow of the chocolate, after drawing incoherent lines all the way from Mark’s neck to his abdomen, and placed the bowl somewhere to his side. Smiling an innocent smile he bent over the quivering body. Jackson didn’t touch Mark yet, he was just hovering above him, trying to keep himself from lunging down and simply eating all that was being offered on a plate to him.

“Having fun?” Mark whispered, his voice slightly strained and really low. Jackson grinned. He was causing his pretty little playmate some discomfort when he refrained from touching Mark straight away.

“Of course I am.” Jackson reached just one finger down and began painting with the chocolate circles around Mark’s heaving chest. He was feeling so warm right now, the simple pleasure he got from just seeing his partner like this, pooling southwards. His jeans were starting to feel a bit too tight. Jackson gave up, just a little bit, and leaned his face down. His teeth caught one erect nipple and biting down on the sensitive skin he heard the very rewarding gasp and moan from Mark. Jackson fought the smile down, kissed the flesh instead and sucked harder. Mark’s body twitched and Jackson could feel the long fingers finding their way to his blond hair, tugging gently.

He kept his mouth locked on the spot, one hand still drawing lines and circles around the left side of Mark’s chest. Jackson sneaked his free hand down, pulling the apron up and landing his fingers on the tight fabric on Mark’s jean clad thighs. He could feel the tight muscle tense under his touch. He was always fascinated by Mark’s legs; so long, slender and the power they had was mesmerizing to him. Jackson trailed up from the bent knee, venturing slowly forward. Mark let out a quiet hiss when Jackson brushed over the groin. He could feel the bulge under his fingers; the happy feeling he received from knowing Mark was just as horny as Jackson himself, was uplifting the level of his excitement. Jackson knew Mark wanted more touching, but he wasn’t going to give in that much just yet.

Jackson finally moved his lips away from the swollen bit of flesh, kissing and nipping his way over the stained skin, dirtying his own face in the process quite efficiently, but not caring one bit about it. The chocolate was still melted, the heat of Mark’s skin keeping it liquidized and Jackson smudged the still untouched lines with both his hand and his face. He straightened his back, not bothering to wipe the stains from his face away, there would be more anyway soon, and tilted his head to the side. Mark was absolutely breathtaking. His hair had fallen off from his forehead and exposed more of the creamy skin, he was biting down on his bottom lip and his eyes were tightly shut. Jackson smiled softly to himself, despite the desire burning him, he felt a tug in his heart that made him want to gather Mark in his arms and hug him close. Yeah, he was a fool in love. But it was allowed, right? Nothing wrong with loving someone as much as Jackson did, was there? Jackson inhaled deeply, steadying his racing heart and just enjoying the view.

Mark’s eyes flickered open slowly and he peered up at Jackson. He didn’t say anything, but raised one eyebrow, the unasked question apparent in his brown eyes. Jackson shrugged, smirking. He wasn’t waiting for anything special, just merely appreciating the sight. He spread his fingers wider on the hand that was still placed over Mark’s groin, and pushed his palm harder down. The soft pant that the gesture elicited from Mark only added fuel to the fire already flaring inside Jackson. He placed both his hands on the buttons on Mark’s jeans and started to pop them open one by one. Mark let out a small whine of desperation, the pace was most likely driving him mad. Jackson chewed on his lips, trying to focus, but his concentration was starting to slip.

He jerked the jeans finally off, with a little bit of help from Mark, and tossed them away carelessly, unwrapped the apron from around the narrow hips and then returned to his task at hand. Jackson sighed relieved that Mark had decided to wear black underwear today. He didn’t really want to be the one to try to remove chocolate stains from white fabric. Now that he was sure he wouldn’t get an earful, from what he was about to do, Jackson bent down and buried his face on the soft fabric of Mark’s underwear, the obvious outline of the swollen body part still hidden, pressing warm against his cheek. Mark twitched, his hips moving up involuntarily at the sudden touch.

Mark was seeing stars the moment he felt Jackson mouthing the shape of his cock thru the boxers. He could only lay there helpless, the position not giving him much freedom of movement as he couldn’t prop his legs against anything. Mark raised himself to lean on his arms and elbows, looking down at his chocolate coated front and down where Jackson was positioned. He swallowed hard. Even if Jackson’s face was tarnished with the brown stains, the fact got forgotten quickly, just because of what Jackson was doing to Mark right now. That soft mouth was blowing hot air on the tip, the fabric heating in the process and warming the skin under it. Mark shivered. He could feel himself growing even bigger and harder just by watching and feeling the ghostly touch of Jackson’s mouth on him.

Jackson grasped the waistband of the boxers, pulling them down slowly. Mark grit his teeth together to keep himself quiet. He watched almost spellbound Jackson pulling the fabric down only enough to expose the swollen head of his cock and then leaving the waistband pushing the rest of the length down. A loud hiss escaped Mark, despite his best efforts, when Jackson trailed his tongue over the slit. He couldn’t watch anymore, the mere sight was too much for him to bear. Mark laid himself back down on the cool surface of the table and closed his eyes. He focused his thoughts on the soft lips and tongue teasing him. The sensation was driving him crazy and he really wanted to get moving on, but on the other hand it was way too much fun to feel so helpless and being pleased slowly.

Mark always loved it when Jackson was blowing him, just seeing the process was making him lose his shit, but the feelings he got from being sucked off were total bliss. Jackson’s mouth was working its magic on Mark, the licks and kisses on the darker tip just adding to the building ecstasy, the quick, hard sucks turning him frustrated. Jackson moved over the boxers, the stains on his face wiping off onto the fabric as he nuzzled his face straight to Mark’s shaft, teeth grazing the outline. Mark was starting to see small specks of light flickering on the outskirts of his vision. Jackson kept teasing him relentlessly until Mark was visibly shaking and whimpering, fists tightly balled and his lips bruised from biting them too much.

Finally, after too many minutes passing them by, Jackson took a hold of the waistband and began to pull them off. Mark wanted to curse, he was getting impatient and he wanted more, but Jackson was being unusually patient today. He lifted his head from the counter and glared up at Jackson who had that playful smirk on his lips. Mark delighted in the fact that even if he was feeling hot and bothered and very played with, Jackson wasn’t far from feeling the same. The sight of Jackson standing there, hair tousled, cheeks and mouth covered in stains and his chest heaving, only made Mark smile.

“If you are going to proceed, go fetch the lube.” Mark managed to rasp out, his voice cracking and low. “You are not going to use that chocolate for _all_ the things here.” Jackson chuckled, brushing the hair off his face.

“Yes, dear.” The reply came with a mischievous grin and before Mark could kick Jackson to his side, he had run off.

Mark stared at the ceiling, his breathing still uneven and blood boiling. He had no idea when his parents would turn up and they had already wasted a good amount of time just fooling around like this. Jackson should hasten up a little bit, if they were to have the time to clean this unholy mess after being wholly satisfied. Mark closed his eyes and ran his fingers over his stomach and up to his chest. He felt sticky, and now that Jackson wasn’t here, he felt colder. The table wasn’t the most comfortable place to lie on and the cool marble was going to cause him burn marks on his backside; that much was for certain. He let his fingers trail over his body, smearing the remaining chocolate Jackson hadn’t managed to lick off, reaching down to his hips. Mark sucked his cheeks between teeth, absently touching himself, the tips of his delicate fingers running along the shape of his cock. He really wanted to take a firm hold and pleasure himself, but he knew it wouldn’t be half as much fun as it was when Jackson did it to him.

“Now there’s a view I’d like to take a picture of.” Jackson’s low voice came from a short distance and Mark snapped his eyes open, his hand almost violently jerking away from his shaft. Was it guilt he felt, or was he just embarrassed to be found fondling himself like that? Jackson didn’t seem to mind, if his wide grin was to be believed. Mark remained quiet, knowing he was probably bright red and followed Jackson with his eyes walking closed and stopping only when he was back standing between Mark’s spread legs. He held up the tube he had gone to get and placed it next to Mark’s hips on the counter. “You still want to do it here?”

“Yeah. Just don’t take too long or we’ll be ambushed by the only people I _really_ don’t want seeing us in this situation.” Mark almost hesitated, but his need for Jackson was still too prominent to have the energy to move away from the kitchen. And besides, who wouldn’t want to be fucked on the kitchen table, even just once in their life?

“Just making sure.” Jackson smiled, winking at Mark. He leaned over Mark, reaching up to kiss him deeply and without a hurry. Mark could feel his body warming up again, having been chilled while Jackson was absent from his side, and the need curling down in his stomach into a tight ball. He sighed happily when Jackson drew away from the kiss and moved down. He reached for both Marks legs still hanging from the edge and lifted them up to his shoulders.

Jackson took the lube, popped the cork open and coated his fingers on his right hand with it. Then he reached for the abandoned bowl of chocolate and dipped his left hand in the liquid. Mark could only watch intrigued what Jackson was doing. He jerked suddenly when the blond placed his chocolate smeared hand down and took a hold of Mark’s shaft, pumping the stiff flesh sloppily. It was almost like with the lube, but somehow felt thicker, and harder. And it certainly looked a lot more messier, if nothing else. Then Mark twitched again, his toes curling. Jackson had slid his right hand fingers in between Mark’s buttocks, the cold lube tingling on his warm skin.

One. Mark let out a breath, a pleased hum of absolute appreciation coming from his throat, and closed his eyes. Jackson’s hands moved in sync and Mark closed his eyes, relaxing his body. It felt good already, but the pleasure would only double, triple even, in due time.

Two. He bit his lips, smiling when the wave of thrills and yummy sensations went thru his body. The sticky chocolate was melting, dripping down the hot surface and from between Jackson’s lazily up and down moving hand. It was so dirty and kind of naughty, and all the more lewd.

Three. Mark’s pitiful whimper echoed in the kitchen. It wasn’t like he was in pain, the jolt of pleasure just caught him off guard when Jackson bent his body down and began to blow Mark at the same time he thrust more digits inside the slender body. The blond seemed to have a field day today; taking his time to enjoy his partner like this, making him let out all the vulgar little noises.

Jackson withdrew his both of hands, the cock popping out of his mouth with a sloppy wet sound. It left emptiness behind that desperately needed to be fulfilled. Then, four. Mark gasped, his breath hitching and his body aching. The coldness spreading into the heat, then the heat taking over the cold and everything felt like it was on fire, but Jackson mouth was there again, sucking off the chocolate from Mark’s cock, treating the stiff body part like it was a lollipop.

“Ffuck..” Mark let out a string of curse words, scrunching his eyes tightly shut when Jackson moved his hand with such speed Mark could feel his body moving on the counter, the marble surface burning his bare skin. “Just stop playing and get on with it!” He was getting really impatient and his need to feel Jackson as close to him as possible was reaching its breaking point. No such luck for him though. Jackson slowed his pace though, freeing his mouth and smirked up at his captive.

“Why so impatient? Am I doing wonderful things to you? Tell me Mark, are you getting high because what I do to you?” The stimulation was making Mark arch his back when Jackson ran his fingers up and down the two places that did all the right things to his already blurry mind.

“You.. Ah!” That was all he could manage out of his mouth. Jackson was doing something wonderful to him, thrusting fingers tortuously slow in and pulling out, his mouth covering the throbbing cock again, tongue pressing to the slit. Mark thought he would soon come, the ecstasy was building so dangerously fast. Then suddenly Jackson halted all his actions. Mark whined, frowning and snapped his head up from the table to look at Jackson.

“If I deny you to orgasm now, can you hold it in until the end?” Jackson was smirking at Mark, who blinked few times, trying to gather his scattered thoughts enough to produce a coherent answer.

“Are you serious?” Mark raised one eyebrow. Jackson just nodded. It was direct enough question and left very little to figure out. Mark chewed on his lips, squinting at Jackson. Then the bastard moved his fingers, crooking them just enough to send a different variation of sensations running around. “Ngh! Fine, oh god. I can do it.” It was hard enough to try to focus and Jackson wasn’t helping _at all_.

“Good. I don’t have to tie you down then.” Jackson’s incredulous grin widened Mark’s eyes to a point where they almost seemed huge. “Maybe another time for that.” Despite his slightly shocked response to Jackson’s words Mark couldn’t truthfully say the idea didn’t appeal to him at least on _some_ levels. Jackson suddenly leaned down and bit Mark’s stomach none too gently; the teeth marks would vanish in few minutes, but little spasm of pain was always a good thing. The fingers were pulled out and off and Jackson stood straight. Mark really wanted to sit up and change his position, but as far as comfort was to be obtained, his best option was to lay here or to be taken from behind, chest against the counter instead. He opted to stay where he was, legs resting up on Jackson’s shoulders.

Jackson removed the apron and let it fall on the floor. He reached down to open his straining pants finally. He was painfully hard by now. Teasing Mark had caused him enough sexual arousal he thought he might explode from the smallest of things. By asking Mark to hold his orgasm in was as much of a task to overcome to Jackson as it was to Mark. The pants fell on the floor and were soon followed by the boxers. The cooler air that came in contact with Jackson’s cock made him shiver and he took one quivering intake of air, holding it in a while, before exhaling slowly. He needed all his wits about if he was to fuck his beautiful boyfriend hard. Being the top was always absolutely fun and enjoyable, but for some reason he had realized he actually liked it better when Mark was the dominant one. Who knew why, it just was like that.

A tremble ran down Jackson’s spine when he coated his pulsing shaft with the cool lubricant. He grabbed Mark’s hips with both hands and dragged him closer to the edge. Then he rather unceremoniously took a hold of Mark’s leg on his shoulder with one hand and guided with his free hand his cock to the abused ass. A sharp thrust, Mark groaning loudly and Jackson shutting his eyes, his breath hitching and he was in. All the way to the hilt. The heat, the delight, the tightness and the sounds that Mark was making, were almost too much for Jackson to bear. He couldn’t move for a while, the pleasure thrumming inside him so hard right now. He had to think of something else, like ice cubes in improper places, to calm his raging rapture down.

His breath was still ragged, but much more stable after a short while of gathering his resolve back together. Finally Jackson started to move. He took a hold of Mark’s profusely leaking member, squeezing the shaft hard in his hand, and began to move his hips in steady rhythm. He could feel the tensing of the legs placed over on his shoulders, could hear the small pleased noises and the indecent slap of skin against skin, all this just heightening his delirium. Jackson loved how Mark squeezed around him, how the sensation made his guts twist and do somersaults. How long this kind of passion would last? Year, maybe two? They said the so called honeymoon phase was always the most passionate one, after that the feelings would grow steadier, stronger and a lot more mellow. Jackson, if he could do anything about it, didn’t want his lust for Mark ever fade, not even one ounce. He wished and hoped they would never really lose the quirkiness, the jokes and the pure need for each other.

Mark constricted around him so tightly it was a wonder Jackson could even move. Looking at how completely messed up Mark already was, Jackson could only smile. But he wanted to see something else too, the view from before had brought this idea to his mind.

“Touch yourself.” His voice was low even normally but now it was barely an audible growl. Mark flinched when Jackson retreated, slipping out. The smoldering glare Mark shot at Jackson was doing nothing to lessen this heightened state of his. Mark however didn’t move his hand down immediately. The long fingers disappeared between the plush lips, Jackson following them with great interest, and were being sucked deliberately slow. When Mark released the digits from his mouth a string of glistening saliva dripped down the sharp chin, and he drew the fingertips down his neck and on his chest. Jackson swallowed hard, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight. His hips were stationary, the tip of his cock just resting against the stretched ring, hot and pulsing. Mark’s fingers danced over his stomach, reaching down to his groin.

Jackson had to bite down on his lip when Mark finally reached his cock, the fingers traveling over the hot surface and then grabbing the base tightly. The outrageously lewd Nh-sound Mark made was churning something fabulous inside Jackson’s guts, the slender fingers stroking up and down the shaft. Jackson blinked, coming out of his reverie, the burning need to continue what he had been doing crashing over him again. He jerked almost violently and rammed himself back into Mark. Now _that_ noise, that came from Mark’s lips, caused all the joyful feelings burst out again. Such a clear, wanton moan.

This was what he had wanted to watch; Mark jerking himself off while Jackson was pounding relentlessly into the tightness, every single thrust in clear view for him to watch. Half the pleasure he was feeling came solely from this, using his eyes and ears, not just the sense of feel, all the combined sensations making him whisper sweet nonsense from his lips. Mark was so incredibly sensual like this, his legs up, one hand on his chest balled into a tight fist, one hand on his leaking member, fingers wrapped around the base to prevent him from coming so fast, even he clearly wanted to. And badly so. Mark’s cheeks were more rosier than they had been before, his eyes kept fluttering open and close and he was having serious trouble at keeping his voice down. Why he still kept trying to do that, Jackson, for the life of him, didn’t know. There wasn’t anyone around to see or hear them. That would have been a sight indeed; two grown guys, sweaty, covered in chocolate and fucking like maniacs on the kitchen counter and having the time of their lives.

Jackson tried to keep up a steady pace, but he was having trouble keeping his own orgasm in control and his hips were moving almost on their own, thrusting into Mark like there was no tomorrow, the moves sharp and powerful. Almost hissing, Jackson forced himself to have control over his moves; he steadied the speed, rotated his hips in slow motion and leaned over Mark’s flushed body, the angle slightly different. It made all the difference to his partner; the shattered whimper proved that. Mark shuddered, his body trembling, his tight hold on his cock getting even tighter. The pleasure was almost too much for both of them to handle.

The ecstasy was building so fast it was getting absolutely out of control. Jackson slowed his pace rather abruptly, earning an angry hiss from Mark.

“Drop your legs.” Jackson had trouble talking without sounding too exhausted. Mark shot him a questioning look but did as he was told. The slender legs wrapped around Jackson’s waist instead. The blond took Mark’s hands in his and pulled the lying man up to sit. Then he lifted Mark up from the counter and into his tight embrace. At this point Mark had enough sense to catch up with the idea. He wrapped his arms around Jackson’s shoulders, holding on to his dear life. It was a good thing Mark wasn’t more heavier than he was; Jackson could have lifted a lot more weight but he wasn’t in any condition to keep fucking at the same time with too much weight in his hands.

Jackson steadied the weight of Mark in his arms, trying to find his balance. Then he walked to the nearest wall, slammed Mark's back against it and started to move his hips up, Mark responding by bringing his own hips down the best he could. The denial of release, the heightened arousal, the gathering and building orgasms and the highly awkward position drove them absolutely wild. It was no longer needed to prevent the peak to arrive, it was no longer a matter of simply pleasing each other; this was just pure burning, greedy lust. A strong need for release. A release that wasn’t very far at this point for either of them. Mark wasn’t being quiet any longer, his almost loud moans echoing close to Jackson’s ear, his head bumping against the hard wall with the rhythm of Jackson's thrusts, all these things just increasing the reverie. Jackson had his forehead pressed firmly against Marks collarbones, the air somehow squeezing in and out of his lungs and he was sweating profusely, the exercise burning more than just few calories tonight.

The ecstasy finally hit them like a freight train, everything going white and the suffocating sense of hard pleasure shuddering them. Mark’s high whimper echoed in the kitchen and Jackson’s strained groan joined the song almost at the same time. His knees gave up the second he felt the hard wave of sheer delirium exploding inside him, and they collapsed on the floor into a mess of shaking limbs and tangled up body parts.

“Shit.. Shit.. Shit.” Mark was cursing, trying to figure out which way he was supposed to turn to untangle himself from Jackson. He was winded, his heart beating fast and he couldn’t remember _ever_ coming that hard. His ass was aching, his balls even more so and his head spinning. “I don’t think I can handle that intense sex very often.” He heard Jackson chuckling breathlessly somewhere close to his head.

“Shut up, you liked it anyway. And that wasn’t even the kinkiest stuff we could do.” Jackson sighed, but seemed relaxed and euphoric. Mark punched him, probably to the side, he wasn’t really sure which part he reached, and wiggled his body free from the blonds. He sat up and glanced around him. The mess wasn’t half as bad as he feared it would be. But looking down at himself, and Jackson, Mark realized they would really need to scrub themselves clean.

“We’ll see about that when I get my revenge on you..” Mark may have been snarling, but he didn’t really mean it like that. At least their days were full of surprises and never boring. “Now that you are all sated and relaxed, you think you can handle my parents?”

“Maybe. I might be grinning a lot every time I see chocolate, or that counter tough.” Jackson grinned up at Mark, stretching his body comfortably on the floor. “Stop looking so worried. I’m fine. I have you next to me, don’t I?” He smiled sweetly. Mark couldn’t respond, his heart was melting so fast again it was a wonder he was still sane at all. Dear gods, he loved that idiot so damn much.

**~**

The day was over, finally. They had made it thru. Mark was extremely exhausted and really wanted to sleep, but his mind kept spinning around this one topic. It had come up at the dinner with his parents and now he couldn’t shake it away, no matter how hard he tried. He knew it was something he needed to deal with, and he needed to do it with Jackson, as it concerned him as well. Mark rolled to his side, glancing at Jackson who was pulling on a sleeveless shirt, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back facing Mark.

The meeting with his parents couldn’t really have gone better. Jackson had been the perfect boyfriend; polite, cheerful, helpful and talkative. This, apart from being a bit more polite than usual, was like being with Jackson on any day. The dirty jokes and swearing had been reduced to minimum of course, but that was to be expected. Maybe in time Jackson would relax completely. Mark smiled to himself when he remembered his mother kissing him on the cheek suddenly, while they were fetching the plates, and told Mark she was happy to see him enjoying life with someone so suited for him. The memory still made Mark so incredibly happy. It meant a lot, to have his parent’s approval, even if he didn’t ever say it out loud. All in all, his parents had been unable to resist Jackson’s natural charms; they both seemed to enjoy his company all thru the evening.

“Jackson?” Mark finally called out, unable to keep his thoughts to himself. It would come up at some point again anyway, no point in prolonging the wait and mull over it with a heavy heart. Jackson hummed in response, turning around and settling down on the bed and under the blanket. “I want to be with you. Like, for real.” Mark just blurted the words out. He hadn’t prepared any speeches or rehearsed any specific words to use in this situation; he just said the first thing that came to him. Maybe he had been spending too much time with Jackson, the verbal diarrhea having caught up with him as well. Saying this out loud however somehow wiped the heaviness from his heart. He wasn’t really afraid Jackson would say anything negative, it was more just a matter of time and shit load of paperwork and organizing things. He heard Jackson’s sudden intake of breath.

“What do you mean by ‘for real’?” Why was Jackson’s tone so suspicious? Wasn’t he pleased that Mark thought seriously about their situation? He frowned, lips pursing into a small pout.

“I mean..” Mark put some emphasis on his words by propping himself up to lean on his elbow and looking at Jackson seriously. “I want to be with you. Every day I wake up.”

“You do realize we live in different countries and we see each other barely four times a year?” Jackson raised his brows, feigning to be shocked. Mark snorted.

“I do, yes. That is why.. I..” The idea wasn’t new to him, and he had been thinking about it occasionally. But voicing it for real? Or doing it for real? Could he do it? Mark took a deep breath, deciding to follow his heart, not the voice of reason screaming inside his head how delusional the whole thought actually was in reality. “If you’d be willing I could move to England.” There it was. That was the truth. Mark was absolutely sure he would abandon everything he knew just to be able to spend his days, maybe even the rest of his life, with Jackson.

“Mark..” Jackson closed his eyes and took a long deep breath. Then he opened his eyes and looked at Mark so seriously it was almost scary. “That’s a huge thing to say. I mean we’ve been together only a year and we’re only in this happy phase now and..” Jackson was rambling again, his gaze darting from the blanket to Mark and back down again. It was quite endearing, but Mark felt a bit uneasy because of all the fidgeting. “I.. I didn’t have the time to tell you this but..” Mark’s heart nearly froze. Was Jackson going to leave him? Was there some problem they hadn’t solved and that would be the end of their happiness? Mark held his breath. “I’ve applied for a job in a local newspaper in L.A.” Mark stared at him, absolutely bewildered, his eyes widening.

“Wh-what?” He must’ve heard wrong. Jackson could not be saying what he was saying.

“I’ve got an interview the day after tomorrow. Which means.. I had my reasons to come over, besides being with you.” Jackson had that peculiar little smile on his lips, like he was almost sorry for troubling Mark by doing something like this behind his back. “You don’t approve?” He _did_ sound a bit nervous though, despite the smile. “I didn’t want to bother you with that sort of thing and it’s not even a given I’ll get the job or anything..” His voice trailed off and he looked so fragile for a moment Mark thought he would choke on the overwhelming need to just hold Jackson in his arms and say everything would be fine.

“I.. What? Are you kidding me!” Mark exclaimed and sat up. Jackson groaned in protest as the blanket got moved off from his body when Mark moved. “You are _not_ a burden to me. Jackson, I’m just surprised. You could have just told me, that’s all. You are never a burden. Never.” Mark got up to his knees and clambered to sit over Jackson’s thighs. He took a really deep breath. “Jackson. If.. If you get the job..” Mark swallowed hard. “Would you live with me, here?”

“Dumbass.” Jackson’s smile was soft, the uncertainty gone and the tone of his voice warm. He held his arms up to Mark in an invitation. “I’d love that.” Mark let out the breath he didn’t even notice he had been holding in. Then he let out a high squeal of delight and lunged down to hug Jackson and to kiss his laughing lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope with all my heart that JB, in real life, will get better soon. 
> 
> See you soon, in the next and final chapter!


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the final moments in the cheesiest shit you've ever read~ Yep. Cheese galore warning. If that makes you queasy you can just skip the chapter and he happy with what you've already read. I'm done apologizing the fact that I like writing REALLY cheesy stuff.

**Los Angeles**

Sunlight and wind in the palm trees, the flowers blooming, the colors spectacular and vivid on the benches around the house. Everything calm and quiet. But only on the outside of the house. Inside the white house loud noises and stomping feet kept disturbing the silence.

“Sophie, could you please look after your brother? I have my hands full with Olivia.” Jinyoung sighed, correcting the position of the baby in his arms. The baby was luckily sleeping right now, breathing close to his neck. Her warmth was so comforting and the smell of her wispy dark hair was filling Jinyoung’s head with fluff every time he got her to his arms. There was a reason why people went absolutely nuts over babies, and he had to admit he was pretty amazed how the little creature was affecting him. Sophie was trailing mutely after Noah who was running with his chubby little feet around in the sitting room and singing to his small heart’s content.

After two years of living together, Jinyoung and JB had finally had their family completed with two more kids. Noah was an adopted child and Olivia had been born through a surrogate mother. Biologically she was Jinyoung’s. They had decided on that after some serious conversations, Jaebum wanted Jinyoung to experience the tie he had on Sophie, and after thinking the matter thru a long time, Jinyoung had to admit he wasn’t opposed to it. So, they had done the groundwork, found a woman who was willing to carry their baby for them and then added the adoption to the list, just because they wanted to reach out and do something at least to one child in need.

His phone vibrated next to him. One thing they had learned when having children sleeping in the house; keep the sudden noises at minimum. The sound of the other two kids yelling and laughing somewhere a bit further didn’t seem to upset Olivia at all, but dear gods if it was a ringtone.. The wailing wouldn’t stop for a good while if that ever happened.

“Hello, Mark.” Jinyoung answered the phone, not even bothering to see who it was; he knew it without looking. This wasn’t the first time Mark had called today and stressed over something. Poor guy was in for a very bad day if he didn’t loosen up a little bit.

 _“Jinyoung… I can’t do this!”_ Mark whined, not even bothering to say hello. _“Are you sure this is a good idea after all?”_

“Mark.. Think about it.” Jinyoung smiled, amused. He took a more comfortable position on the couch, Olivia still snugly sleeping on his chest. “You’ve been planning this for half a year now. _You_ were the one who wanted to do it in the first place. Why would you back down now?” It was like he had repeated these same words over and over again. He would be glad when the whole ordeal would be over. Though, after that the other kind of stress would start..

 _“But..”_ The hesitance, the awkwardness.. It was all so clear in Mark’s voice. Jinyoung wished he could’ve done something more than just try to convince his friend he was doing nothing wrong.

“No buts! You can do it.” There was a thump and after a short and very ominous silence a high wail echoed thru the house. Jinyoung sighed. “I would love to boost your mood endlessly, but unfortunately I have to go and save one of my children from distress..” He smiled however. “Be glad you only have to deal with _one_ kid.”

 _“Be nice. Jackson is much more grown up these days.”_ But even Mark’s tone was amused. Jackson was older, sure, but he would always, _always_ remain a child at heart. But they loved him for that all the more. _“Fine. I’ll do it. Fingers crossed.”_

“Go get him tiger.” Jinyoung laughed and put the phone down. The loud wail had turned instead to loud sobbing. Shaking his head he got up and walked towards the noise. He was still getting used to being a father and handling all three kids at the same time was a lot harder than he ever could have thought. He hoped JB would be back from the store soon so he could just sit down with Olivia, attend to her needs and leave JB to deal with the little boy. One pair of hands wasn’t nearly enough in this situation, but.. He wasn’t complaining.

He was happy. The kids, Jaebum, the love.. Everything around him was simply so imperfectly perfect it was quite sickening. Olivia made a small snuffling sound and curled up in Jinyoung’s protective arms and even the sight of Noah sitting on the floor teary eyed was somehow so endearing Jinyoung thought he would burst from sheer happiness.

Jinyoung’s only wish was that this would last as long as it was only possible. 

 

**Elsewhere..**

The day had been pretty hectic so far for him, and when Mark finally managed to lure Jackson into the car the sun was already starting to set. Mark cursed under his breath, but he couldn’t help it; everything had gone wrong from the start of the day. He had been tearing his hair more than once during the day, and had made about dozen pointless phone calls to Jinyoung, even if he knew he was only disturbing the fresh parents with his pointless bitching.

This morning Jackson had disappeared before Mark had even woken up, some urgent problem needing his attention at work. Jackson had been promoted a year ago and he was taking the responsibility as the head of the sports department quite seriously. Mark was proud beyond any words how well Jackson had adapted to his surroundings when he had moved to L.A.

The misfortune of the day had continued for Mark when the renovations done in the building next to his studio had caused all the classes to be cancelled. He had spontaneously arranged few united classes with Yugyeom to the nearby park so that there was at least _something_ to give to the people who arrived. Mark hated nothing more than the time when he had to shuffle his entire timetable. It always meant extra work at the computer, which he had grown to dislike very much. It usually meant a lot less time to see Jackson during daytime. Maybe he really should hire a secretary, like he was being told to a couple times a day by various people.

Especially today a person like that would have been fabulous.

Jackson had finally called Mark and told him if they wanted they could pick up something to eat, the day had been long and exhausting and neither of them was keen on cooking anything at this hour, he was definitely up for it. So, Mark picked Jackson up at the stadium Jackson had been at, continued on to get some food for them and then drove back home. He was fidgety the whole time, like he had a rash in a place that was too private to share with anyone. He kept chewing on his cheeks and his replies to Jackson’s continuous talking were short and snappy.

When they reached home and placed the food on the table in the kitchen Jackson turned to look at Mark, his arms folded to his chest and his eyes narrowed. Mark couldn’t help but to admire how good Jackson still looked. His hair was back to its natural dark color, but he had kept the same hairstyle that he had had when he was still blond. The small ponytail at the back of his head was quite attractive actually, even if it was just convenient way to keep the hair from falling over Jackson’s eyes all the time. His arms were even more toned than they had been when they met, the lean body so honed now there was probably no fat left anywhere. But for the moment the piece of art, that was Jackson, was glaring at Mark intensively.

“Mark. Spit it out already.” Jackson snapped after the silence grew too much to bear. “You’ve been pissy for weeks now and it’s getting on my nerves. Have I done something to upset you?” The familiar look of uncertainly ghosted over the handsome features. Mark felt like panicking. He hadn’t meant to make Jackson feel like that.

“What? No! It’s not you. Well it’s about you, but not your fault.” He knew he was making absolutely no sense right now, but that was to be expected. Every single thought he had was so jumbled up Mark didn’t really know where to start even. He wasn’t very collected when he had something big pressing on his mind.

“Mark.... Come on. Tell me. I’m not good at handling these things, you know that. And your behavior is making me really nervous. You're not leaving me, are you?” Mark gaped at Jackson, not believing his ears.

“Ok, that’s just stupid and you know it too. I’m not leaving you. Honestly.” He huffed. “Just.. Shut up for a bit, ok? I'm not good at this either.” Just what are you doing, Mark! Get a grip! It's just Jackson. Jackson whom you've been with almost five years by now. It’s no biggie. Mark took a deep breath, held it in for a while and tried to concentrate. His head was throbbing and his pulse seemed to be so high it was making him nauseated. “Jackson. I.. No, wait. That came out wrong.” Mark took a deep breath again, turned to look at Jackson’s face, all scrunched up and looking worried. Mark felt a pang of guilt. “Jackson. You know we've been together for years now. I.. shit. I’m sorry, this is so not me.” Mark buried his face to his hands and groaned. Jackson remained unusually quiet, waiting patiently for once. And for once Mark was grateful for it. He needed to find his balance. Third deep breath, but he kept his face hidden, just peering thru his spread fingers, staring at the table. “I don’t like it when people look at you and think you are free to touch or take. I know you refuse all advances, but it still irks me. So, what I want to say is; I want to mark you mine. The pun intended and all.” Mark had to take his hands from his face and take few sharp breaths; he had somehow managed to talk a lot without breathing almost at all.

“Mark...” Jackson groaned, frustrated at Mark’s rambling, but his cheeks were getting redder as the context of that unusually long, and fractured, speech was sinking in. Mark held one hand in air to prevent Jackson from speaking.

“I want to get hitched! Ok? We don’t have to have a white wedding or get registered. I just want you to be visibly taken. Mine.” Mark finally looked at Jackson, fearing the answer. He knew it was now or never. After this it was either over, continuing or things would get weird and stranded between them. “Will you?” Mark almost whispered, his heart beating so hard he had drums in his ears.

“You're quite odd, you know that..” Jackson frowned first, but then he chuckled softly and directed Mark a smile that was like the setting sun outside, burning his eyes with its glory. “I’m not saying no, don’t worry. But honestly Mark.. Could you for once let me act like the guy too?” Jackson reached out and took Mark’s hands in his, rubbing the skin reassuringly. “You are always the one to take me out. The one who always buys some small gifts to me. Always the one to be the _guy_..”

“I didn’t know it bothered you so much..” Mark mumbled, embarrassed. “But do we _have to_ have designated roles, really?” He glanced at their intertwined fingers. “I like spoiling you and you like being spoiled, so why do you worry?”

“I don’t exactly _worry_.” Jackson tilted his head and chewed absent-mindedly on his lips. “It’s not like you’re sucking away my masculinity or anything.”

“No, I doubt anyone could do that.” Mark chuckled. “I doubt there are any couples who fit the norm people think couples should have. I look more effeminate, you look more manly. I like to treat you, you like to receive the treats. Does it bother you so much?” He was silent for a moment and continued before Jackson could reply. “And it’s not like you don’t treat me, you just think I don’t take notice on them. But I do. I always do.”

“No.. I guess not. I just.. I just wish I could surprise you sometimes.” Jackson pouted, his cheeks pink and puffed. Mark felt so happy right now, watching his sullen expression.

“Jackson..” Mark leaned forward to kiss Jackson’s cheek with a smile spreading to his lips. “You surprise me every single day just by being you.” He untangled their fingers and straightened his back, looking at Jackson seriously. “Say it properly, please?” He wanted to hear the answer once. He just _needed_ to hear it.

“Yes. I will marry you, you stupid wee mongrel.” Jackson flushed bright red and looked down. “I wouldn’t mind making it official some day, or having white wedding or anything..” Jackson mumbled, turning even redder. “You’d look so incredible in all white and then all the guys and girls would die from jealousy, because you’d be mine until you’re old and shriveled.” All Mark could do was laugh and kiss Jackson on his lips and hug him tightly.

How cheesy, how completely and sickeningly awesome life was right now. It never ceased to amaze either of them. They would have their day of celebration eventually, with all the people they loved and cared for. They would keep on building their life together like JB and Jinyoung had done. Maybe they would end up getting kids as well. Only time would tell.

Jackson and Mark would live, they would eventually die, but they would make sure they would fill their life together with corny jokes and bad humor until the very end. And with never ending patience and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. That's it.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for leaving kudos. I bow to you all.
> 
> Writing long stories isn't really my thing, and I gladly leave that to people with more sense for complicated plots, but writing this was fun most of the time. 
> 
> Until next time.

**Author's Note:**

> A bad idea? Tell me what you think! I'd love some comments.


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